The Proper Way for Getting Out Of Bed

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The Introduction

It must be said that the proper way of getting out of bed is to...well...get out! Some people may have a little "trouble" with this, so here are the guidelines for the proper getting-out-of-bed technique.

The Proper Way for Getting Out Of Bed 

(Don't try this at home, kids)

1. Wake up. Seems pretty obvious, but sometimes we miss it. When the alarm goes off, wake up. Got it? Good.

2. You have the option of turning the alarm off or not. If you live in an apartment or dorm, and have an especially loud alarm clock, I recommend you turn it off. If you don't have anybody to yell at you to turn the alarm off, however, I suggest you keep it on so you stay awake, but don't hit snooze.

3. Open your eyes and KEEP them open. So much damage is done by shutting your eyes after the alarm clock goes off.

4. You've heard the term "roll out of bed", haven't you? Well, this is what you're going to do. Oh? You were on the top bunk? Oh, I'm sorry. No, I don't have enough money for the doctor bill, sorry. (I told you not to try this at home!) Don't worry--you'll get used to it after the first...oh, say five times.

5. S-l-o-w-l-y pick yourself off the floor, stretch, and if you haven't already, turn your alarm clock off. You are now "out of bed" and have a pretty good chance of NOT going back to sleep. Congratulations.

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