How to Eliminate Anxiety For Good

Anxiety is nothing more than a habitual pattern. This may sound rather simplistic, as there are so many things that can trigger the symptoms of anxiety and anxiety attacks - a person, a comment, a place, a situation, a thought, and sometimes seemingly nothing at all. But this is the truth.

Once, a long time ago, when you had your first anxiety attack, your body experienced a fight-or-flight response to a stimulus and in that moment it created a "pathway" in the brain for the anxiety. As time went on and this pathway got triggered more often, it became habitual, and easier to trigger, that is all.

There is nothing wrong with you. Because anxiety feels so horrible, it can often seem like we have been cursed with always feeling bad, and as though there is nothing we can do about it. I am here to tell you: you can change this pattern whenever you want.

Now I'm not trying to tell you it will happen overnight, or that it will be totally easy - though it certainly could. I got rid of my anxiety in about about three days, once I actually figured out the truth about it. At first it was difficult, but my belief that I could overcome it and my desire kept me persistent, and it got gradually easier. Now I have almost no anxiety in my life at all. It is all about our own willingness to let it go. If you are really fed up and tired of your anxiety, this information is for you. Because if you are ready for a change, it will happen. If you are just sticking your feet in the water and splashing around a bit but not really diving in, your results are more likely to be less extraordinary.

Anxiety in and of itself cannot hurt you.

It may feel like something horrible is happening in your body, terrible things are occurring, and you can't control them. It may scare you into thinking there might be something really wrong with you. However, if you have been diagnosed with having an anxiety attack, know that the attack in and of itself simply feels terrible - but it cannot actually do anything to hurt you unless you allow it to continue and cause you more discomfort.

That's right, I said allow it to continue. Because whether or not you suffer anxiety attacks is totally up to you. I know this may sound hard to believe. I certainly would have argued with it a year ago, when I still was looking for a way out. I would have said, "No way. I don't want this to happen to me! It feels horrible. I try sooo hard to make them go away. All I want is to be free! Why am I cursed with feeling like this all the time?"

Well of course you didn't choose to feel this way - but you can choose to not feel this way any longer.

"I don't understand. You say that awareness of anxiety dissolves it. I know how anxious I am and still it persists."
"Feeling anxiety is not the same as awareness of it. When you merely feel anxious, you are identified with it. If you close your eyes and feel a round object with your fingers, you may worry that it is a bomb. Open your eyes and see it is a harmless ball. Likewise, as we begin to awaken to see things as they really are, our pains disappear."
-- Vernon Howard, The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power, 1967

To one who has suffered long from anxiety, we may imagine it as a ticking bomb, waiting to go off undesired at the most inconvenient times. The truth about anxiety however, is it really is as harmless to us as long as we can open our eyes and see it for what it really is - not what it would have us believe.

And an imaginary future at that.

That's right, meaning not reality. Think about it: what were you worried about three days ago? (Can you even remember?) Find something you were afraid would happen. Now ask yourself, did was what I was worried about actually happen?

95% of the time, the answer will always be no.

You may be asking, is that really true? Don't take it from me, find out for yourself. If you can, think of all the things you were afraid of in the last month. Write them all down. Put a star next to the things that actually came true. If you can't remember, start taking notes. Write down in bullet form some things you are afraid of or worried about right now. Come back to it in a month, and you will most likely laugh when you realize that most of them still haven't happened.

But if any of them did come true, ask yourself: did I handle it? Did it work out okay in the end? I'm willing to bet that it did. The pain that we feared experiencing never came to pass, and even if it did it is usually a direct result of us thinking and worrying so much about it that we actually brought it upon ourselves.

For example, we may fear getting physically hurt, or having an accident. We may fear failing at something. We may fear making a complete fool of ourselves, or what other people may be thinking about us. We may fear that we will not get everything done on time, and we will be punished. We may fear not making enough money to survive, or take care or ourselves and our loved ones. We may fear making a mistake.

Though all of these things are perfectly understandable and normal things to worry about, most of them are completely irrational. Why? Because most likely they will never happen!

The important thing that this new understanding gives us is that most of the things we spend our time thinking and fearing are completely made up. We're worried about something that will in all likelihood, never happen.

Oh, sure, it feels real. In the moment when you are first struck with a fearful thought it will feel so important, so possible (in fact, not just possible but probable) that you will naturally and automatically give your attention to it and begin to stress about it, and in turn this will often create anxiety.

The key here is in realizing that we really don't have to take our fearful thoughts at face value.

You may be thinking right now, Okay, I know my fears are irrational. In fact, I've known that for a long time. But that doesn't stop me from being scared. I can't help it. As irrational as they may be, I'm still worried about them.

I know where you are. And I want you to know, it's okay that right now you may find yourself in a constant state of worry or stress over a lot of things that are irrational. In fact, that's pretty much what anxiety is. You don't need to know how to let go of the fear. The fear will naturally go away with time as you deal with the core issues underneath them.

What I need you to do is simply take this understanding and use it next time you find yourself worrying you'll make a horrible mistake, or imagining some new catastrophe, or fearing what that lady next to you in line could be thinking about you right now. Remember: what she is thinking is probably nothing like the ideas you have about what she is thinking. And you'll probably never be able to find out. In fact, it doesn't even matter.

What's important here is to simply become aware of our fears as they rise up, and to say to ourselves: okay, now I know that this will most likely not happen, since most of the things I worry about don't. However, right now it simply feels like it probably will. I don't need to try to change the way I feel, but simply to recognize and understand that it's most likely irrational.

This new understanding, coupled with what you will learn below is the new foundation for an anxiety-free life.

Now keep in mind here that I'm not talking about those fears that ARE rational (and you know the difference.) I'm not telling you to walk down any dark alleys or pull any stupid stunts. You have fear and judgement for a reason. I am talking about those stresses and worries that never do come true but seem to run our life. I am leaving it up to you to be able to tell the difference.

The first thing that you need to realize if you truly wish to get over your anxiety attacks is that the only thing perpetuating your attacks is you.

Of course, you don't realize that you are continuing it, or you certainly wouldn't be having anxiety. So how exactly are you doing this?

Here's the main reason: We perpetuate our anxiety by focusing on it over and over again. By feeling so terrible about having these attacks, and wishing we didn't have these attacks, and trying to find a way to get rid of these attacks, and worrying if at the wrong moment you're going to have an attack, and talking to people about your attacks, and going to the doctor about your attacks, and... (you see what I mean? We think about our anxiety wayyyy to much.)

You may be thinking right now, 'Oh, come on. Focusing on my attacks isn't what's creating my anxiety. Besides, how can I not focus on them? They're ruining my life!'

If you want to continue having anxiety, continue to think the way you have been thinking about anxiety. If you want the way you feel to change, you're going to need to change the way you think about how you feel.

This is how it works: what you resist - persists.

Think about it. When an anxiety attack hits you, do you think, "oh, I've felt this before. It can't hurt me, no big deal." Or do you think, "Oh no! It's happening again! I'm starting to shake! Can people tell? Oh my gosh I'm freaking out! Stop, stop, stop! I just wish I didn't feel this way." Be honest now.

Anything that you resist and fight in life is only going to come back at you just as hard. This is why your biggest "problems" and frustrations in life come from things that seem to perpetuate forever - such as a lack of money, unhappy relationships, a dismal workplace... and anxiety. By (physically, emotionally, mentally) resisting these things, saying "NO, I do not want to experience these things, I don't like them!" We are basically shutting the door on life and refusing the gift that this moment is bringing to us. And believe me, each moment really does have a gift if you can open up your inner mind enough to see it. Even the anxiety. I'm telling you: you can get through this.

This is very, very important if you wish to move past this part of your life.

When I say stop focusing on your anxiety, I mean in every way (except for what your doctor tells you to do.)

• Stop talking about your anxiety attacks with friends and family. If they ask, just tell them you are trying something new to see if it works and it involves not talking or thinking about anxiety. They will understand.


• Stop thinking about and reliving your worst attacks. Let go of these memories, they are over and cannot continue to harm you from the past unless you let them.


• Stop worrying about having an attack and thinking about what other people might think about you if they see you shaking or nervous. It may seem like it would be terrible if they saw you nervous and afraid, but more often than not most people don't even notice. They're usually too caught up in their own train of thoughts and worries to even think twice. You'd be surprised if you only knew how little others actually think about you.


• Stop allowing your thoughts to be taken up by long periods of time by this "problem" you feel you must solve. If you can do this, you might discover it doesn't need to be solved at all, it will go away on its own, quite naturally and easily.


• Spend extra time doing the things that make you feel peaceful, but instead of doing them as a way to counter your anxiety, think of them now as a way to fill yourself up and feel good. If you schedule is really full, schedule time to go play, laugh, and relax - everyone needs fun in their life. This is absolutely imperative.


• Stop doing "research" on your condition.


• Stop rearranging your life to accommodate your anxiety. This means don't avoid situations which would normally cause you anxiety. This only causes more anxiety and builds the situation up in your mind to be bigger than it is. I promise you, it's easier than you think to face the things that you are scared of - because you are not really scared of any of these things! All you are scared of is the same reaction you have every time you must face what scares you. But when you understand that these anxious reactions cannot hurt you, they can only make you feel bad as long as you keep giving them your focus and energy, it becomes easier to do those things that once terrified you. You are no longer combatting the situation, just shedding light on your own reaction to that situation.


• Stop needing other people to "help" you with your anxiety. This is a crutch created by the anxiety itself to keep itself well focused-on and alive. Know without a doubt that you are all you need to stop feeling anxious.


• If you find yourself thinking about your anxiety or focusing on it in any way, don't feel bad. Simply be grateful that you recognized it and divert your attention elsewhere. Think about something else.

So now that we know that anxiety can't actually hurt us and that the only thing actually causing our attacks is us, from focusing on it way too much, what can we do?

This right here is the key to eliminating your anxiety forever:

Stop resisting and fighting your anxiety.

If you are thinking, "I'm not resisting," but you are still having anxiety attacks, I promise you - you are resisting. Next time you find yourself having an anxiety attack and you are in a familiar enough place where you feel safe and have somewhere comfortable to lay down (preferably your own home) step away from everyone else and try this:

Lay down, get comfortable, and let your anxiety attack have the control that you normally don't want to give it. That's right, you heard me correctly. I said let it take over, and run it's course. Look your anxiety square in the eye and say: do your worst.

This may seem like a terrifying idea at first, and that first ten seconds might be filled with a heightened anxiety as you actually let go, but here's the good news: once you actually stop fighting it, it actually works.

If you are still experiencing anxiety, you are still fighting your anxiety - period.

By physically putting down your shield and saying to your anxiety: "I'm not scared of you. I know you cannot hurt me and you may make me feel horrible sometimes, but I'm still okay. Do your worst, I know no harm will come to me." You stop resisting your anxiety, and in so doing you take away its power.

Some people have to do this exercise a few times, but usually it will only take the once to realize that the moment you stop fighting it - it completely goes away. It's like you held up the mirror to the ghost and it realized it wasn't there.

Letting go of your own resistance to anxiety is the biggest key to moving past it forever.

Think about it: what is it you really want right now, as you are reading this page? To get rid of your anxiety completely? Of course. But more than that, I think each and every one of us really wants to feel true peace and joy and happiness. So if you are interested in turning your life around completely and moving now in this direction, consider the following books.

For me, they were a huge and powerful part of not only overcoming anxiety, but also becoming more outgoing, more loving, and learning the true meaning of fearless. They are highly recommended.

All of the above text is Copyright 2009 Tien Frogget. If you wish to use any of it please contact me first. Thank you.