What Are The Best Things To Do After Break Up
Knowing what to do after a break up is not an easy task for any of us. No matter how strong we think we are, the end of a relationship leave us unprepared, confused and hurt. We tend to make a lot of mistakes. The we realize that, panic, and make even more mistakes. Being emotionally affected hinder our best judgement and cause us to do foolish things.
First thing to do is calm down and stop letting your emotions taking over. Stop sending her messages and touchy emails to apologize. Getting back together is much more achievable if you act with reason and do the things that work in your favor. No need to panic either. Maybe the battle is lost, but not the war. In this article i will show you what to do after break up, what not to do, and how to improve the chances of getting back together.
First thing to do is calm down and stop letting your emotions taking over. Stop sending her messages and touchy emails to apologize. Getting back together is much more achievable if you act with reason and do the things that work in your favor. No need to panic either. Maybe the battle is lost, but not the war. In this article i will show you what to do after break up, what not to do, and how to improve the chances of getting back together.
First Thing: Don't Show How Hurt You Are
But don't be indiferent either.
Nobody said that is easy to deal with a break up. Is one of the few moments in life when we really need someone to understand us, to love and support us. Especially the next days after break up, when the feeling of loss is at its peak.What you need to do is to avoid showing your ex how hurt you are. Don't try to convince your ex of your love or to beg sympathy, because is not likely to get it. Even if you think of your ex every moment of the day, refrain from calling, begging or crying out your pain.
If you ask yourself "how will we be getting back together if i don't do something about it?", then let me explain. The way you behave after break up can tell a lot about you. About how you deal with the situation even if is tough, or especially when is tough. Your unheard statement should be: "i respect your decision to break up, no matter how hard it is for me".
What will you achieve with this attitude? First of all a lot of admiration from your ex. Curiosity because will be the first time to see such quality in you. And confidence, as your self esteem will strengthen.
Exactly what you will need later for getting back together.
It doesn't mean you have to be lonely!
For comfort and support you always have your good friends. Don't stay alone mourning and don't sink into depression. Hang out with them, be more active than usual, occupy your mind. Be strong.
And most of all be confident that THERE IS a way to fix things!
Next: Anger And Jealousy Are Your Worst Enemies
And will destroy any chances of getting back together!
Seeing your ex with somebody else can drive you crazy. Is normal to feel this way. Still you have to understand that being jealous or angry will not improve the situation. People start dating again right after break up because they have to prove something to themselves or to others. Is a way to show that they are not hurt, that they are desirable or didn't care. Can even be an attempt to heal after the wounds of breaking up. Or a disguised attempt to arouse your interest.No matter how hard it is to take it, you have to remain unaffected. Our closest people know how to push our buttons better than anyone. Surprise them by not reacting. Your goal is getting back together, not getting even. So reassure yourself again that you can lose a battle in order to win the war.
If you don't react as expected, your ex will start wondering why, and will likely lose the desire to provoke you, if this was the main reason for dating again. More than sure will raise curiosity or confusion about your feelings. This is the main opening that you will use next for getting back together.
Worst Things People Can Do After Break Up
The "No-No" List
- trying to force contact, explanations or lamentations
- asking all their common friends to plead their case
- bad mouthing their ex all around or dismissing their relationship
- dating some close friend of their ex just to make them jealous
- threatening with suicide or some other dramatic actions
- refusing any contact or completely isolate themselves after break up
Let The Things Cool Down a Bit
Don't skip this essential step!
There is a great storm of emotions after break up that needs time to cool down. For a while minimize any contact with your ex. I know it sound counter productive to rebuilding your relationship, but is very important to do that.You both need time to think about what brought you here and reevaluate your feelings. Good memories start coming back when you are apart, and the bad things stop looking so bad. You start missing each other and the good things in your relationship.
Allowing time for the mud to settle can do wonders for a relationship, i know that from experience. Unless you had a really awful time together and is better to stay apart anyway, this step can help in worst of cases.
The Big Step: Getting Back Together
If you found the strength to apply what i have explained so far, and mostly the last step, please accept my congratulations! The hardest part is done and i am almost sure you have what it takes to get your ex back.
The way back into the relationship should be perform gently and gradually. Like you did when you first met. What you want to be sure of is that your ex understand that you accepted the break up, can deal with it in a mature way and what you really care for right now is her/his wellbeing.
Contact your ex just to catch up and make sure everything is good. Don't talk about you and your feelings. Concentrate on your ex needs and listen to what he/she have to say. Don't lose your patience.
To your surprise, as soon as things will relax between you, your ex will open up and will make the first step toward making up.
Take the opportunity but don't push it. Don't expect that things will be just as they were after first contact. Give all the situation space and time, i cannot stress enough the importance of this point. You wouldn't expect someone with a broken leg to run right after getting out of hospital. Just the same, your relationship needs time to heal and strengthen before will "run" again.
For More Ideas and Inspiration
T.W.Jackson's ebook The Magic of Making Up can make life so much easier for you with his step by step strategy that helped so many couples around the world. I warmly recommend his ebook to everyone who needs a hand in saving their relationship or get their ex back.
The following video is one of the free series of video advices that T.W.Jackson provides for getting back together.
Watch them carefully and try to get inspiration.
The following video is one of the free series of video advices that T.W.Jackson provides for getting back together.
Watch them carefully and try to get inspiration.
powered by Youtube
A Word About How To Proceed
Getting back together is not easy nor simple, but it can be done. Following this short guide, but more important, listening to your heart will help you repair your relationship.What you must understand is that every step presented above is important and play its role in the strategy of getting back together. Doing things by half or skipping steps because they are difficult can destroy your only chance. If you are not confident enough i recommend a step by step strategy to recover from breaking up and bring your loved one back to you.
Relationships are fragile bonds that must be handled carefully, but knowing how to keep those precious people in our lives can be the difference between happiness and misery. And a life full of love is the most valuable pursuit of all.
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If you have any feedback, comments or questions, i would love to hear them.
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- jesspkwan jesspkwan Nov 12, 2009 @ 5:19 pm
- Hi I'm jess and me and my boyfriend broke up nearly a week ago. He is in uni and we're about an hours distance apart and he said he needed space and time to think about our relationship because he can't see it working because of the distance. He says he still loves me and that if it was meant to be then it will be. We were quite close friends before dating and we decided that we would still be friends after we broke up. I have only talked to him about 2-3times since then on the net and have done some of the don'ts but not too much. Is there any hope in us getting back together? Is it ok for me to talk to him every so often or should I not talk to him for a while? I still love him so, and its his birthday in four weeks and I would love to go see him but would that really be a good idea..? Should I ask him a week before hand..? I don't know what to do. I've been in a terrible state ever since and have only just started to become myself again ever so slightly. I would be most grateful if you would help me
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- TMoney19 TMoney19 Mar 24, 2009 @ 3:32 pm
- Hi my name is keyshia and me and my boyfriend broke up because he thought i was cheating on him and i told him i would never do that to him so basically this boy called and told him all kind of lies and he believed the boy over me so we broke up and he says he got another girlfriend which i think he is just telling me to get me mad but i love him so much and want to be with him still how do i get him back and keep him?
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- tdove tdove Dec 16, 2008 @ 5:46 pm
- Thanks for joining G Rated Lense Factory!
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- kephrira kephrira Dec 8, 2008 @ 5:42 am
- It can be a difficult ting to do, so its good to see someone putting some helpful advice out there - 5 stars from me.
by justjamie
Hello, here is Jamie Carter,with your relationship first aid kit. Love sick and fever, relationship infection or breakup electric shock? Don't despair... (more)
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