Get Your Girlfriend Back

If you have ever studied the science of Behaviorism, you will realize that the best way to train an animal to behave correctly is by rewarding the behaviors you want more of and ignoring the behaviors you would like extinguished. Obviously, the very act of breaking up with you is faulty conduct and by being kind, understanding and "giving her time," you are rewarding her behavior and tossing the bad dog a biscuit.

We're not saying ex-girlfriends are dogs (although you might think so right now). Rather, that rewarding behaviors you don't want will get you more of those behaviors.

This strategy, which one relationship expert advocates, is in the same vein as mistake number one. This "expert" recommends, in a nutshell, being as sweet as pie to your girl no matter how badly she treats you while also letting her know that you'll wait as long as it takes.

While this strategy may work once in a while, you are completely emasculating yourself in the process. Even if your girl decides to eventually take you back, she will have lost a tremendous amount of respect for you which will prevent the relationship from lasting. Remember that how she takes you back is more important than when she takes you back.

The first three mistakes fall under the umbrella of neediness. This is when your true feelings for your girl, as well as your respect for yourself, become completely overshadowed by desperation and misery. A lot of people actually misconstrue the feelings that their neediness creates for actual love. I will do my best to explain this in depth later on, but for now please realize that there is a huge difference between the two. Showing neediness is one of the biggest killers of attraction and must be avoided at all costs.

Not being in control of your emotions, including your anger, is another major mistake. When someone knows exactly how to push your buttons to elicit an emotional reaction out of you, they are holding a remote control for your brain which not only makes you lose a tremendous amount of power but allows you to be easily manipulated.

Remember that there is a time and place to blow up and let yourself yell and scream. But you must decide when that time is and not just haphazardly respond to situations without conscious choice. In other words, you must be in control of your emotional state and be the one who chooses which emotions you display and at which times.

Never underestimate the power of the jealousy card. A woman will feel much differently about a man who is in the field scouting for new women than she will about a man who sits home with his buddies each night and drinks his life away. There should be no excuse that keeps you from constantly prospecting, and by disregarding this important step you are artificially inflating your girl's market price.

I need to make a very important distinction between doing this the right way and using it as a Pet Cemetery maneuver (see Part 7 of the Get Your Girl Back System). You do not want to use other women as weapons, period. If you throw it in your girl's face that you are dating (or sleeping with) other women (either during the breakup or after the two of you are back together), it becomes a cheap Pet Cemetery tactic that can easily backfire. However, if you keep it a secret and she finds out through other sources, it will usually have a strong effect. The act of you not flaunting it makes it that much more powerful.

The only time you should bring up your exploits in conversation is if she asks you directly. Then, you can tell her honestly that you've been seeing someone. Any faltering here looks like you are hiding something. As long as you say it matter-of-factly and are not seeking a reaction from her, this can easily make her very jealous.

Going into a breakup without a clear-cut plan is like parachuting into the jungle, in the midst of a war, without a map or compass. Things can get ugly out there and the last thing you want to worry about is having to find your way out of the bush once your emotions start clouding your judgment; one wrong move can lead you into enemy territory where you'll be left emotionally captured, locked up and tortured for years to come.

Also, a plan helps you stay consistent with your original intent and this consistency is very powerful. A lot of guys will attempt to stick with one approach, but then do the complete opposite when it fails. For example, they may start off by begging their girls to reconsider, and when that doesn't work, they may resort to threats and other malicious behavior. Unfortunately, most girls can see right through this sort of manipulation strategy and will immediately distance themselves from the manipulator.

Let's face it. A breakup can be one of the most difficult and painful experiences in your life, and sometimes the pain just gets to be too much. At this point, many guys look for any way out, even if it means giving up their pride, self-respect, manhood, etc. Our girls fell in love with us in the first place because of these traits, and laying them down in the line of fire while waving a white flag is not going to have your sweetie come running to clean off your wounds. Why would she? You're no longer the man she used to love.

To prevent all this from happening, you must have the proper tools on hand to deal with the mental pain that may come up. Thankfully, I have compiled the most advanced techniques known to man and will be teaching them to you step by step. These will make the difference between forcing yourself to follow the "Get Your Girl Back System" and effortlessly doing what you need to do.

Letting the breakup completely stagnate your desire to move forward in life is one of the worst things you can allow. Once your ambition falls to the wayside, it is only a matter of time before severe depression sets in.

One of the most important things in life is having a strong sense of purpose. A breakup can easily allow you to forget what you are here to do, especially when living without your girl can make life seem totally meaningless. This is a huge trap which has crushed many men financially, emotionally and spiritually. Luckily, you will have all the tools you'll need to push forward despite any feelings of hopelessness and futility.

You must allow yourself to see your friends and maintain your sociability during a breakup. Otherwise, you will end up like that guy from the movie "Swingers" who sat in his house for weeks waiting for his girl to call. And remember, when you are out with your buddies you are not allowed to talk about your girl! The whole point of going out with friends is to get your mind off the situation and to learn to have fun without a girlfriend in your life. Also, if you constantly drone on and on about the breakup, your friends will eventually tire of it and stop inviting you out.

A woman will very rarely be completely honest with you during a breakup. Sometimes she will try and explain herself by saying things like, "I just need some time alone," and "My life is so complicated right now," while at other times she may be keeping you in the dark completely. I have found that the reasons why a girl leaves her man are almost always the same universally, no matter what she may tell you. And of course, she has very good reasons for not being completely up front with you, which will be covered shortly.

Be careful of ultimatums! It can, however, be a smart move to set up ultimatums in a relationship early on, such as, "I don't tolerate dishonesty or cheating, and if that ever occurs between us, I'm out the door in a heartbeat." By establishing boundaries and refusing to allow your principles to be compromised, you will be setting a good tone for your relationship. The problems start when you begin to use ultimatums to manipulate unwanted behavior.

For example, when you say to your girl, "If you don't stop hanging out with Monica, we're through," or "If I ever see you flirting with that guy, you'll never see me again," you're making a serious error. The problem with these kinds of ultimatums (in addition to being Pet Cem tactics) is that they trap you. Most of the time they won't have any effect on your girl's behavior (many women will test you to find out if you're for real) and they will leave you stuck having to dish out the consequences you previously threatened.

At this point, if you fail to deliver on your threat your girl will realize that your words carry no weight and will start to lose respect for you. And God forbid she realizes that she can do whatever she wants with no repercussions. You'll be in for a world of hurt, my friend.