The Gift of Honesty

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Honesty - The Gift That Keeps on Giving




Honesty isn't something we slip into when the right mood strikes. It's a character trait that's developed early in life. Over time, like a butterfly squeezing from its cocoon, an honest mindset becomes a part of who we are--how we view our world, and how we react to difficult situations.

I'd like to think that raising honest children has the power to positively affect our families, communities, countries, and ultimately, the world. Each of us knows a child whose path crosses ours regularly. Whether we realize it or not, they're looking to us for guidance.

This lens is for us all--parent, teacher, neighbor, volunteer, friend. Telling the truth matters. It determines who we are, and who the children in our lives become.

Weighty Words

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain

Honesty in Motion 


I was blessed with parents who taught me priceless values like kindness and honesty by example. They weren't perfect, but these were the greatest gifts they could have given me at a very young age.

When I was three, my dad let me go with him to a grocery store. As we wheeled the cart around the produce section, I noticed these beautiful clumps of big green grapes. I loved grapes, so as we passed by, I grabbed one and popped it in my mouth.

My dad noticed, but he didn't say anything right away. I figured we were in too big of a hurry and besides, who would miss one little grape?

When we turned the corner and headed up the aisle, though, my dad motioned towards a clerk who didn't have anyone in her line.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a penny. "Here," he said, pressing it into my palm. "You need to pay for the grape you ate."That simple act on my dad's part turned out to be a defining moment in my life. I wish I could bottle and sell its effect, because words alone can't begin to describe the impact it had on me, even at the age of three.

I was stunned that Daddy had noticed my dirty deed, but more stunned that he expected me, an extremely shy little three-year-old, to march up to the clerk and admit what I had done.

I panicked. My tongue felt too big for my mouth and I could feel my heart thumping against my shirt.

My 6' 3" dad leaned down, looked me in the eye, and in no uncertain terms explained that we pay first and eat later. "Taking a grape without paying for it is stealing," he said.

Me? A thief? No way!

So with my dad at my side, I handed the penny to the clerk and whispered, "I ate a grape."

She didn't frown or scold me. She took my penny, rang up the "purchase," and handed me a receipt, which I proudly carried around in my little white purse nearly forever. "Thanks," she whispered back. "That's very honest of you."

I remember her exchanging a smile with my dad, and that was that.

Children's Books About Honesty 

Children learn honesty at home. Here's help @Amazon.

Weighty Words

So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. - Ephesians 4:25, New Living Bible

"Honesty" Art Print 

 



Want to confuse a child? Teach them a hazy sense of honesty--a part-time truthfulness that depends on each circumstance.

When our kids were young, we paused outside a restaurant to buy a newspaper from one of those boxes. A gentleman was reaching inside to retrieve his paper when we arrived. He greeted us with a big smile, then held the door to the box open for us.

"Go ahead," he said. "Help yourself."

It might have been easy to grab ourselves a free paper and thank the friendly, generous guy who thought he was helping us out, but it simply wasn't an option.

"I'll pay first, thanks," my husband said.

The guy's expression changed so quickly, our son later asked, "How come that man was mad?"

On the way home in the car, we had a good discussion about honesty, and explained that opportunities will come along to test our commitment. We were able to make our point without tearing into the man's character.

Parenting isn't easy, but opportunities like this gives us a real-life demonstration of honesty at work. Those are the lessons that stick.

Was Shakespeare Right? 

Where does honesty fit into Shakespeare's quote?

Shakespeare once quipped, "This above all, to thine own self be true."
Think about it, and consider the following question.

Is honesty always the best policy?

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Even in tough situations, honesty wins out.

seegreen says:

I agree with Mark Twain, when you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. I've said this to my kids, along with being the right thing to do, in the long run, it's the easiest thing to do.

aj2008 says:

Yes, honesty is always the best policy. Problem is, when considering this people think about the short term gain. They fail to see the long term effect.

mulberry says:

Honesty is always the best policy. However, I think there are gray areas such as withholding details etc. which are difficult to handle sometimes. (there's not an outright lie, you just don't divulge info.) Often through good intentions I think everyone occasionally withholds information although ethically that might not be viewed differently than outright dishonesty. I've attended ethics lectures that really make you think about these things. Honesty with yourself is of course the first and most critical step...recognizing your own misteps.

seedplanter says:

A pattern of dishonesty in small ways can lead to a character that is no longer trustworthy. Lying is a shortcut. Telling the truth is character-building.

Sometimes a "little white lie" is a shortcut to major stress.

 

"Honesty" Mousepad 

A quote by Emily Dickinson

 


I hate to be the bearer of shocking news, but the "little white lie" is a myth. It doesn't exist.

Who decided that lying only on certain occasions is ok? What message does it sends to children--that part-time truthfulness is acceptable? How does it affect others, who count on your word to be accurate?

Lying every now and then isn't better than lying fulltime. Have you ever met a part-time burglar or part-time pregnant woman?

You either are or you aren't.

Truth is truth and lying is lying. There is no in-between.

If People Had Tails 

Have you noticed how transparent pets are where feelings are concerned? We don't have to guess whether cats are sincere when they purr. We return home to a tail-wagging dog who loves us unconditionally. Our furry friends aren't sincere one minute and phony the next.

Hmmmm. Imagine what life would be like if people had tails.

Rooted in Honesty, Grown in Patience & Love 



Look for opportunities (teachable moments) to talk about honesty. Young children will understand more readily when given examples, not long-winded stories. Plant seeds together and discuss how honesty can take root in our lives, just like a seed growing in a flowerbed.

Play "What if..." games, using hypothetical situations as a testing ground for thinking about honesty.

Weighty Words

Where is there dignity unless there is honesty ? - Cicero

Reader Feedback 



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seedplanter wrote...

in reply to aj2008 AJ, thank you for your re-visit to several of my lenses...and for your blessing! You're a bright spot in Squidoo and I always feel encouraged when I hear from you. Thank you for being YOU.

ReplyPosted May 25, 2009

aj2008 wrote...

Just revisiting lenses in the Children and Parenting Group to say how proud I am of the quality of lenses in the Group and that I am so glad this is one of them. You have been Blessed by an Angel!

ReplyPosted May 20, 2009

awelldressedbullet wrote...

I don't blame you Chef, thanks for showing us her lens, and I agree, I enjoy Bonnie's lenses too! Another inspiring lens and definitely 5 giant stars - Kathy

ReplyPosted February 22, 2009

seedplanter wrote...

in reply to chefkeem Thank you for blessing my lens with your kind words, Achim. You are such an encouragement to me, and I've learned the ropes of Squidoo because kind-hearted people like you took time to share what they know. Since I'm such a fan of your lenses, your attagirl means all the more to me. Thank you!

ReplyPosted February 22, 2009

badmsm wrote...

Great lens and so true! Honesty is just easier in the long run, so much less drama. 5 Stars & lensroll for you!

ReplyPosted February 22, 2009

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