Jokes to Cheer You Up!
Looking for a gift for someone can be a very stressful experience. What to get? Will they like it?
Here are some jokes to help you relax while you look for that perfect gift.
Contents at a Glance
Be Specific!
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Red Roses
Make a romantic statement with the classic beauty of red roses! We've gathered one dozen beautiful, long-stem scarlet roses, picked at the peak of perfection from our select floral farms, into a stunning bouquet and unforgettable presentation. Whatever the occasion, roses are always the perfect gift of love. Shipped overnight to ensure freshness.
Click Here for Romantic Long Stem Roses
Get the Message?
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"
Anniversary Gift
John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary."Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.
She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."
"Well what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks.
"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," says John.
Books on Divorce
Cheap Husband
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift."How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
Ouch!
One year, a particular harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
Mother-in-law
Weigh the Consequences!
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday. But she was willing to let it pass if he made it up to her in the right way.His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.
A Practical Gift
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty
four-wheel-drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
Diamond Ring
The Perfect Gift
"Thanks for the electric guitar you gave me for Christmas," little Chris Cody said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best present I ever got.""That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?"
"Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."
Electric Guitar
Electric Guitar Pack For Dummies
Amazon Price: $139.00 (as of 11/30/2009) 
Fender Starcaster Strat and Accessory Pack, Candy Apple Red
Amazon Price: (as of 11/30/2009)
Hasbro Power Tour Electric Guitar (Black)
Amazon Price: $54.99 (as of 11/30/2009)
Funny? Not? Let me know!
If you have any jokes to share, or comments to make, do it here!
submit
-
Reply
- dadaas dadaas Jul 9, 2009 @ 4:52 pm
- very nice and clean lense, thanks it make my day.
-
Reply
- tdove tdove Jan 29, 2009 @ 4:45 pm
- Thanks for joining G Rated Lense Factory!
-
Reply
- Aug 31, 2008 @ 11:55 pm
- The gifts in the lens are awesome and giving gifts increases our relationship with others,this is what I feel personally.
Thanks for the good lens.5 BIG STARS FOR U.
Feel free to checkout my moving boxes blog
-
Reply
- Aug 25, 2008 @ 5:30 am
- I like your lens very much, Thank you so much for this valuable and nostalgic information
Checkout my blog
student loans blog
-
Reply
- May 6, 2008 @ 5:31 am
- Hey!
what a great lens here, It is very interesting informative information about gifts. Very good Lens always I rated 5 star for your Great works.
I think this gift giving jokes is giving more funny and check out my lens that focuses on divorce lawyers
Love This Lens?
- Rate this lens:
- Email it
- Favorite it
- Lensroll it
Gift Lenses
Here is a list of other gift-related lenses. Please feel free to vote and/or add your own suggestion.
Don't forget they are gift-related and Squidoo lenses.
1
Gift Ideas for Him
As a man get older it gets harder and harder to th more...2 points
2
Gift Giving Jokes
Looking for a gift for someone can be a very stres more...2 points
3
Gift Ideas for Her Over $50
It should always be a pleasure choosing a gift for more...2 points
4
The iPod Touch
The iPod Touch can realty make a difference in you more...2 points
5
Tassimo Coffee System
I have a Tassimo coffee machine and I couldn't do more...2 points
6
Backyardigans Gifts
Get them (the kids I mean, or do I?) a Backyardiga more...2 points
7
Personalized Gifts for Mothers Day
Everyone wants to get a special Mothers Day gift.W more...2 points
8
Gift Ideas For Everyone
Buying a gift can actually be a very stressful exp more...1 point
9
1001 Gifts For Women!
Don't waste your time! Let this blog take you thro more...0 points
10
1001 Gifts For Men!
This is a blog created for those of us that have a more...0 points
11
Trunki - Kids' Carry-on Luggage
Flying can be a tense time for everyone, especiall more...0 points
12
Waterwheel Play Table
Toddlers love to play with water - whether it be a more...0 points
13
best sci fi movies
The best sci fi movies reviewed and listed. Scienc more...0 points
14
Spiderman comics | Spiderman dvds | reviews
Spiderman, the web spining super hero from marvel more...0 points
15
Mens Obama Watch
A men's watch is the equivalent of a women's handb more...0 points
created by xtnshun
Latest from the Gift Giving Blog
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byGifts for Kids Blog
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byCheck out these great lenses...
-
- Traylor Howard - Actress
Traylor Howard is an actress who is best known for her TV roles in Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, and Monk. There was some controversy when her character Natalie replaced Sharona on Monk (who's your favorite?), but I think it really works!... view lens -
- Dancing with the Stars 9
Here is the story of the ninth season of Dancing with the Stars. Catch up on the cast and the happenings from start to finish. (Want the short version?) For the latest on DWTS go to the main Dancing with the Stars lens. view lens -
- Kelly Ripa
Kelly Ripa is a model, talk show host and actress. She appears on the tremendously successful show, Regis and Kelly. Get the latest news and information on Kelly Ripa. view lens -
- Elizabeth Mitchell
Elizabeth Mitchell is an excellent actress who has been in many TV and Movie roles. She is best known for her work in the TV series Lost and more recently "V". Get the latest news and information on Elizabeth. view lens -
- Diane Sawyer
Diane Sawyer is a news reporter, TV host and former model. She hosts Good Moring America and will take over the ABC news sport from Charles Gibson in early 2010. Get the latest news and information about Diane. view lens
by xtnshun
I'm a marketing professional and in my spare time I have a number of projects; the main one being Bright Gift Ideas, a resource for people who...
(more)Explore related pages
Funniest Tees On The Planet @ BuyFunnyT-Shirts.com- We are not responsible for any damage done to your keyboards, computer screens,...
Funny Gifts
- Do you have a friend with a sense of humor? Are you looking for a cool gift for...
Sick Fart Gas: The Worst Smell Ever- Sick fart gas is the worst smell ever. Have you ever had sick gas? Have you ever...
Jokes My Daughter Finds Funny- My daughter has just turned fourteen and has just started High School (sigh). S...
Gift Ideas For Everyone- Buying a gift can actually be a very stressful experience depending on the type...
Gift Ideas for Him- As a man get older it gets harder and harder to think of gift ideas for him. The...
