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Condolences and Parting Thoughts

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From the lens Gifts For Grieving Families.

  • familystorykeeper May 2, 2012 @ 12:59 am | delete
    What a thoughtful collection of things one can give at a time of grief. I stayed in someone's home during their services for their baby daughter so I knew about that one. Taking over food is the most common thing I think of doing. But I hadn't thought of paper plates and plastic ware to eliminate dishes. The gift of stamps would be so thoughtful too and an easy gift to send if you can't be there in person. Thanks for sharing these helpful ideas.
  • candidaabrahamson Apr 30, 2012 @ 10:08 pm | delete
    What a thoughtful and helpful lens--and quite sensitive, too. Saving it on pinterest as soon as I'm done!
  • wrapitup4me Apr 18, 2012 @ 2:22 am | delete
    These are important ideas (never would have imagined about the toilet paper). So many of us are paralyzed when faced with the grief others experience.
  • Didijudy Apr 4, 2012 @ 10:50 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing your tips. Some of them, I would have never thought about it and we would have appreciated them when my mother passed away 5 weeks after she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with lesions to her lungs. We had so many help; the ones I remember very useful was the food, and someone offered to wash our cars. Very much appreciated.
    Thank you for sharing your wonderful tips and I am so sorry for your loss. Great lens!!
  • flipflopseason Apr 3, 2012 @ 7:34 am | delete
    Wonderful ideas for grieving families - and we never forget those who support us in our hour of need. Thoughtful gifts are so appreciated when we are numb with grief.
  • FunMoneyBusiness Apr 1, 2012 @ 5:07 am | delete
    Having never been in your situation, I appreciate you taking the time to put these useful tips in useable form. Thank you. May your family continue to be blessed by good people.
  • RinchenChodron Nov 29, 2011 @ 10:01 am | delete
    Yes, you received wonderful support - great ideas here for those who want to help. Congrats on your LOTD
  • beckyf Nov 11, 2011 @ 9:51 pm | delete
    I'm sorry for your loss. My father died this spring, and we were blessed by friends, though in different ways than what you were. I'm going to keep some of these ideas in mind for the future. I especially liked the idea of the gift of paper products.
  • BSieracki Sep 26, 2011 @ 4:59 pm | delete
    good suggestions
  • laki2lav Sep 26, 2011 @ 1:37 pm | delete
    You have a lot of great ideas there. Great job!
  • seedplanter Sep 15, 2011 @ 10:45 pm | delete
    What a thoughtful lens. Having lost both my parents within two years, I found myself nodding at your suggestions. I think the gift my siblings and I valued the most was the gift of privacy. People who truly care will back off and give a family space. I also appreciated those who waited and send cards of condolence a month or two (or six) later, because it's those that I remember most. During the early days of grief, so much felt like a haze. Thank you for a wonderful lens. My heart goes out to you in your loss.
  • bikerministry Aug 30, 2011 @ 6:27 am | delete
    This is very helpful. Thank you.
  • mismatch Aug 26, 2011 @ 1:38 am | delete
    Beautiful article. Things made simple and clear about relationships, emotions and needs for love. Keep well!
  • Tipi Aug 12, 2011 @ 1:03 pm | delete
    What sweet comforts you share and I can read between the lines at the depths of meaning each of these gifts held for you. I pray that the Holy Spirit come along side and minister continued comfort to you and your family and particularly your Mom.
    I lost my Dad to cancer some years back and was reliving that time as I read bout your experience. What a nice way to remember your Dad with the gracious gifts of others. One that stands to our family was when someone planted a tree in memorial to Dad.
  • ottoblotto Aug 9, 2011 @ 11:04 pm | delete
    Vallain, Thank you so much for your kind words and blessing. I pray things will be well for your sister and family in this time of grief.
  • vallain Aug 9, 2011 @ 10:47 pm | delete
    I recently spent a week with my sister after her husband's death. The kindness of friends and neighbors with the very things you cite here were indeed much appreciated. I'd even thought about making a lens about how to help a grieving family. Fortunately I found you have taken care of it.
    Blessed by a Squid Angel and will be featured on You've Been Blessed.
  • jenniejdrf Jul 7, 2010 @ 10:46 am | delete
    Thank you for sharing and i'm so sorry about the loss of your father...I read your page at the perfect time, my good friend had just lost her mom and your page offered a lot of advice and good tips.
  • ABitBohemian Jun 22, 2010 @ 3:15 am | delete
    As an adult with young children of my own, I became very involved in the life of my 14-year-old cousin after the death of her mother, my beloved aunt. Hope Edelman's "Motherless Daughters" books were a godsend, to me as I sought to support my grieving niece; to my niece, whose dog-eared copy is still a source of comfort after more than a decade; to her father, who endured his own grief while learning just how vast was the void left in the life of any motherless daughter. In the years since i myself turned to Edelman's books, I am still grateful for their insight and guidance and have recommended them often.
  • skiesgreen Jun 21, 2010 @ 11:54 pm | delete
    Great lens and very helpful. We don't always think of the small things that make such a difference when one is grieving. *-*Blessed*-* and featured on Sprinkled with Stardust and also added to Lenses That Shine. Congrats on LOTD
  • lasertek Jun 21, 2010 @ 9:59 pm | delete
    Wonderful lens! Sometimes we concentrate on bigger things rather than giving away smaller things that will be much appreciated by those in need.
  • bygproductions Jun 21, 2010 @ 9:48 pm | delete
    What a timely lens. The pastor of our previous church just passed. Posted this link on the fb memorial invite page. This is an excellent lens, I'll be lensrolling it to some of mine.
  • rleightardif Jun 21, 2010 @ 8:34 am | delete
    What a wonderful lens. My condolances on the loss of your father.

    The idea of stamps is so original. The idea of links to support sites could also be written in a card. And paper stuff. Never thought of that. And the drinks. Great stuff!

    My first husband was drowned at age 21. We had a baby five weeks old. I remember some of my aunts and my mother in the kitchen, preparing food for everyone. I couldn't imagine why anyone would even want to eat. I was too young to really understand. But I've thought of it so many times since, and have expressed my appreciation. It has inspired me to do the same for some family members. They really need all the support they can get, without being burdened even to talk. They can talk later.

    Another thing I think is important is remebering. There are so many people around during the wake and funeral and maybe even a week or so after. But a month or two after, let them know you are still thinking of them. Acknowledge the fact of what they've been through. And are still going through. It's important to let them know their loved one isn't forgotten.

    I had a good friend who lost her father several years after I'd lost my husband. She apologized to me because she hadn't talked about my loss. She didn't want to hurt me, she said. But she later realized that talking is such a necessary part of the grieving process.
  • Frankster Jun 19, 2010 @ 7:59 am | delete
    What a wonderful lens. I have a friend that just lost her sister and wondered how I could help. Thank you. Bear hugs, Frankster
  • RobininColorado Jun 18, 2010 @ 6:49 pm | delete
    Sweet and loving. Thank you for sharing this.
  • MotherHenna Jun 18, 2010 @ 8:46 am | delete
    The gift of supportive information can be helpful, too. Sharing resources for support like http://www.MISSFoundation.org or http://www.griefwatch.com or http://www.centering.org -- or other tangible gift items like: http://www.inmourningband.org or http://www.lunaslight.com -- all can be very helpful. On my own site, we have a free eBook copy of the expanded version of the Mrs. Duck and The Woman book which we've heard is helpful to families after the death of a baby: http://www.motherhenna.com/stuff.htm#books

    My heart to all of you who are grieving and missing someone you love...hoping we all find some tiny bit of comfort from connecting with each other while on our grief paths...
    miracles,
    k-
  • burgessvillian Jun 18, 2010 @ 2:30 am | delete
    A lot of the gifts you mentioned nobody really thinks about when there is a death in the family. You must have very thoughtful friends. This is a very deserving lens for lotd. I wish you and your family the best during your grieving.
  • BarbRad Jun 18, 2010 @ 1:42 am | delete
    Very practical advice. I have planned three funerals in the past seven years, and since 1987 we also buried a son and two in laws. Although we didn't have to entertain a houseful except when my son died, everything you suggested was right on. Although we enjoyed the support from the guests who stayed to talk, I realize that some people do need their privacy. Will lensroll to my lens on http://www.squidoo.com/greeting-cards-for-terminally-or-chronically-ill
  • mbrownauthor Jun 17, 2010 @ 9:18 pm | delete
    What a wonderful lens. I would not have thought of many of these items. Thank you for sharing, and I'm very sorry for your loss!
  • mbgphoto Jun 17, 2010 @ 3:51 pm | delete
    Awesome lens...I know when my father died one of the most thoughtful gifts was a large fruit and cheese basket.
  • sncalo Jun 17, 2010 @ 3:30 pm | delete
    My condolences to you and your family. Awesome lens, awesome way to express your hearth!!
  • Pastiche Jun 17, 2010 @ 1:59 pm | delete
    The simplest items and basic necessities are so welcome during times of family sorrow or crisis. Thank you for sharing these tips from the recipient side ... it helps to know what's really appreciated beyond kind words, cards and flowers.
  • cherylsgifts2go Jun 17, 2010 @ 1:57 pm | delete
    I am sorry for the loss of your dad. I too, loss both my parents to cancer. It does put your own life in turmoil and, you do appreciate when others help. Sometimes others don't know what to do to help. You have outlined everything that would be needed under any circumstance and, did a great job in creating this terrific lens. Outstanding!
  • clouda9 Jun 17, 2010 @ 1:28 pm | delete
    What a great list of gifts that you and your family received. Thank you for sharing your ideas and congrats on LOTD. ~~Good thoughts to you and your family as you settle back into your daily lives, while still forever remembering your father!
  • samos Jun 17, 2010 @ 1:08 pm | delete
    thank you for such a helpful, heart-felt lens. my condolences to you and yours.
  • desireet Jun 17, 2010 @ 12:37 pm | delete
    This is a very educational lens for the generous hearts out there that live for helping others! Very practical ideas and tips to help your neighbors in their times of need. There are times when people need to stop their never-ending fight against "going green" and focus more on serving the conveniences of families in troubled times and this is definitely one of those times! Thank you so much for setting alot of us straight !!! My condolences to you and your family and take comfort in knowing that your father is in a better place without pain now. Take care and congratulations to you on your Lens of the Day. Well deserved !!!
  • tandemonimom Jun 17, 2010 @ 12:17 pm | delete
    I have seen this excellent lens before and just wanted to say: very well-deserved LOTD.
  • JenOfChicago Jun 17, 2010 @ 12:17 pm | delete
    Wonderful lens, with great useful suggestions for people who want to help but don't know what to do - something that everyone feels from time to time. So sorry for your loss, but know that I am sure you have helped others by using your experiences to make this lens. Blessed by a squidangel
  • mereridkat Jun 17, 2010 @ 12:16 pm | delete
    Excellent lens, very well written and thought out. I will keep this around for ideas, as unfortunately it will needed.
  • kimmanleyort Jun 17, 2010 @ 11:44 am | delete
    These are very thoughtful gifts. What a valuable lens. I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your father. With your LOTD, you will be helping so many others going through a similar situation.
  • boshemia Jun 17, 2010 @ 11:42 am | delete
    I have seen a lot of grief lately, and felt like I should be doing *something* but had no idea what to do. Thanks for the kind and thoughtful ideas.... I guess it really is the thought that counts.
  • kajohu Jun 17, 2010 @ 11:41 am | delete
    I'm often at a loss at how to support families and individuals whose loved ones have passed away. This gives a number of very good suggestions that I wouldn't have thought of.
  • Heather426 Jun 17, 2010 @ 11:33 am | delete
    First, prayers and sympathy for your loss. I lost my father in 2005 and life is not the same. But you made a wonderful helpful lens for families who at some point all have to deal with this. Congrats on LOTD!
  • stargazer00 Jun 17, 2010 @ 11:21 am | delete
    I'm very sorry to hear about your father. Thank you for these very practical ideas and congratulations on LOTD.
  • Joan4 Jun 17, 2010 @ 11:20 am | delete
    Congratulations on Lens of the Day for this thoughtful and helpful lens.
  • Katy Jun 17, 2010 @ 11:12 am | delete
    I Have expected so much more from this lense...
  • 1dental Jun 17, 2010 @ 10:49 am | delete
    Truly helpful lens. Really, thank you for sharing!
  • partybuzz Jun 17, 2010 @ 10:14 am | delete
    My sympathies on your father's death. I also lost my father and sister to cancer. I think my most appreciated gift would be privacy, and I'm glad you added that in. Everyone feels obligated to visit, but sometimes the immediate family just needs time to be "alone" with each other. I know we did. Congratulations on LotD!
  • nightcats Jun 17, 2010 @ 9:30 am | delete
    So sorry to know you have lost your dad. I was shocked to read that drug addicts target homes of cancer patients looking for drugs. Congrats on your LOTD
  • nightcats Jun 17, 2010 @ 9:30 am | delete
    So sorry to know you have lost your dad. I was shocked to read that drug addicts target homes of cancer patients looking for drugs. Congrats on your LOTD
  • happynutritionist Jun 17, 2010 @ 8:27 am | delete
    This is beautifully done, and my condolences to you on the loss of your father. Mine passed away in the fall about 4 years ago...tho the pain lessens in time, it always seems like it was just yesterday. So nice to see this get LOTD. God bless you and your family. ~claudia
  • athomemomblog Jun 17, 2010 @ 7:32 am | delete
    My father was just diagnosed with cancer and we are just waiting to find out how bad it is (at least level 2 due to size). This is a very well thought out lens, I never would have considered many of these things. Thank you. Blessed by an angel and I'm very sorry about your dad.
  • sema Jun 17, 2010 @ 7:07 am | delete
    very true words with which I identify as I passed through the same emotions just a month back.
    A lens worthy of LOD
  • JenniferAkers Jun 17, 2010 @ 1:25 am | delete
    A practical lens about gifts that people may not think to bring but offer thoughtfulness and comfort to grieving families.

    I'm sorry to hear of your father's death. I've lost many family members, and your list of gifts is absolutely priceless. I've added it as a featured lens to mine on How To Celebrate Mother's Day Without Your Mom.
  • OhMe Jun 17, 2010 @ 12:19 am | delete
    I am so sorry about your father's death. It is very nice of you to share these ideas. I remember what a welcomed gift the stamps were for us one time. A cousin had also done that and it really meant a lot. One of the things that I like to give is a pretty box to keep cards in. Congratulations on Lens of the Day! Well deserved.
  • Airinka Jun 17, 2010 @ 12:18 am | delete
    Wonderful lens!
  • Susan52 Jun 16, 2010 @ 9:38 pm | delete
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing these excellent ideas for gifts and the reasons they're so appreciated. If you haven't been in that situation personally, you might not realize many of these things. I'm sure this page will bless many.
  • rlmodranski Jun 16, 2010 @ 7:16 pm | delete
    Thanks for sharing!!! What a beautiful gift you given all of us!
  • Natural_Health_Sports_Massage_Ce Jun 16, 2010 @ 4:38 pm | delete
    Great lens!
  • GonnaFly Jun 16, 2010 @ 4:34 pm | delete
    What a beautiful and helpful lens.
  • Superwife Jun 16, 2010 @ 4:11 pm | delete
    both beautifully done and so informative, this is the most helpful lens I've seen. thanks for putting this together. well deserved lens of the day.
  • Carmel_Aaron Jun 16, 2010 @ 3:37 pm | delete
    I am very sorry for your loss. The grieving is a difficult process, and it isn't something we get over quickly, so it is wonderful that so many knew what to do to lighten the load.

    I will do my best to remember these ideas, as I too want to be of real help during such a sad time.

    Thank you
  • Irenemaria Jun 16, 2010 @ 3:30 pm | delete
    Every word is true here. I know from experiance. Thanx
  • d-artist Jun 16, 2010 @ 3:23 pm | delete
    congrats on LOTD! and I'm sorry for the loss of your dad...I lost both parents to cancer...this lens brings great ideas for a troubled sad time, I have to go to a funeral Friday and this lens gave me an idea...thanks for that, and a ~" Squid Angel Blessing"~
  • rms Jun 16, 2010 @ 3:13 pm | delete
    Congratulations on an exceptional LotD!
  • modz Jun 16, 2010 @ 2:04 pm | delete
    Congrats on LOTD!!! I really liked your lens
  • SynchronicityHouse Jun 16, 2010 @ 1:45 pm | delete
    What a helpful lens - it's so difficult to know how to help at times like this and you've given me some great ideas - thank you.
  • stacy_mcdaniel Jun 16, 2010 @ 1:39 pm | delete
    Congratulations on lens of the day. Very helpful lens. Thanks for sharing these good tips.
  • ottoblotto Jun 16, 2010 @ 12:47 pm | delete
    My father would be so pleased; thank you so much!
  • kiwisoutback Jun 16, 2010 @ 12:43 pm | delete
    I agree, these are great ideas. While flowers might be nice, that's really not what the family needs during that time. I never send them. I send other things instead that will make their lives easier during that difficult time. Bakery products and easy to eat food seems to be a really big hit.
  • SquidooKimberly Jun 16, 2010 @ 12:33 pm | delete
    Congratulations on LOTD! It's helpful to know what is TRULY a helpful gift. It's always tempting to give flowers and cards; thanks for telling us what families appreciate.
  • jgelien Jan 30, 2010 @ 9:22 am | delete
    I really appreciate this lens. You have excellent ideas for people that want to do something show their love and support but don't know what to do. Wonderful. 5*
  • Jewelsofawe Jan 28, 2010 @ 2:35 pm | delete
    This is a wonderful lens and the books are good picks! Blessing this lens and lensrolling it to my Losing a love one lens...
  • Ms.Pam Sep 10, 2009 @ 7:55 pm | delete
    This was excellent. Some of the same ideas work for new parents, particularly those who had C-sections. I'm tucking these away for future use.
  • Joan4 Jun 16, 2009 @ 6:21 am | delete
    Excellent lens! And the most interesting thing to me -- as I read, I easily remembered the people who had brought such gifts to our family in 1988. That was 20 years ago! These important gifts of kindness and love are never forgotten!! And I am still thankful for each one. Blessed by a joyful angel.
  • MsSnow4a Apr 13, 2009 @ 6:38 pm | delete
    Very very nice page, I am sure a lot of grieving familes would appreciate the gifts. Thank you for sharing :)
  • CounselMom Feb 9, 2009 @ 10:44 am | delete
    Great page with wonderful ideas for those of us who want to be helpful to grieving families. Only those who have gone through something like truly understand the blessing these gifts bring. Thank you!
  • CounselMom Feb 9, 2009 @ 10:44 am | delete
    Great page with wonderful ideas for those of us who want to be helpful to grieving families. Only those who have gone through something like truly understand the blessing these gifts bring. Thank you!
  • tandemonimom Feb 7, 2009 @ 3:07 pm | delete
    Deepest sympathies on the loss of your father. Thank you for taking time to compile this lens with so many helpful suggestions.
  • mbgphoto Feb 6, 2009 @ 12:01 pm | delete
    This was a wonderful lens.....with lots of good ideas. Sometimes people who have not gone through this do not know how to help. You have given excellent suggestions.
    You have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your father. Thank you for taking the time to help others.

by

ottoblotto

I am a writer, artist, and designer living in beautiful McLeansville, NC. I received my BFA from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and my... more »

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