Holding on to Your Dreams

This lens was awarded the Exemplar Award by GypsyOwl, who features lenses and people she finds inspirational on her "Be In Your Flow" lens.

Thank you, GypsyOwl. I am honored.

When I was very young, I was always being told that I couldn't do this thing or that thing, either because I was a girl or because I just wasn't smart enough to do it. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was always thinking, "I'll show you. I WILL do it because I AM smart enough." Of course, with my dad, you didn't say those things out loud.
After awhile, those things get stuck in your head and you start to believe that you're not good enough at whatever it is to make it your adult job.
I always dreamed of being a designer. Clothes, furniture, jewelry, houses, anything. I just wanted to be creative and make things that were different from anything you might see anywhere else. I wanted to be famous and, in the process, become rich.
Well, over the years the desire to become rich and famous has faded but, my desire to create has not.
I guess I have hung on long enough to that dream. It is now time to give it wings and let it go.....

No, I am not abandoning my dream. I am just letting it go. I have come to the conclusion that I cannot accomplish what I want to if I hang on to the dream. I must let it go, release it into the universe, in order for it to grow. I have to give myself the chance to fail in order to find success.
For most of my life I have played things safe. I have always had a job where I knew I could do what I was being paid to do. I always had a steady income. But, I never took chances on myself, allowed myself to fall flat on my face, let others see my mistakes or, what I saw as mistakes. The things I enjoyed making were just not good enough to put out there. I was not going to put myself in a position to be criticized when I had worked so hard to make whatever it was I was working on.
I have watched my mom work so very hard to make her dream happen. She put herself out there. Put herself and her beliefs on the line to make a dream happen. I have seen good things happen for her. I have seen things look so bleak that she was going to give it up. But, that is one thing she never did. She is still out there plugging away, trying to make a difference. And, she does. Good things are starting to happen for her, again.
Late last year I decided that I did not want to wake up every morning wondering "what if". What would my life be like if I had followed my dreams? What if I could have been successful with my jewelry? What if...No more what ifs. I didn't want to wait until I was Mom's age to make things happen.(Although I do admire her for starting over, yet again, at her age.) The first of this year, I put in my notice at work. If I am going to do this thing, I have to give it everything I've got. No more thinking, well, maybe in six months, maybe at the end of the year, maybe.....whatever thing would pop in my head and, scare me half to death at the thought of not making it.
I had to let go of the dream in order to chase it.
It is kind of hard to chase a captured butterfly. It will smother and die if you hold on to it to tightly.

just let me say, don't hold on to your dreams. Set them free then, get out there and chase them! Make them your reality. Yeah, it is scary to think that I won't have a regular pay check coming in for a while. It is scary to think of starting over at 49 but, it is even scarier, to me, to think that I wouldn't give myself a chance to do what I love doing. In a way, starting over is exciting. It motivates me to get moving in the morning. It makes me get out and promote myself as an "artist". That is not something I am good at, promoting myself. But, I have to, it is a matter of life and death. The life or death of a dream.
I think I have been less stressed, more content with myself and, more confident that I CAN make my business work, since I decided to set my dream free. When I did, good things started to happen. People have approached me, wanting samplings of my work in their shops. They are coming to me, which has given me that little boost I needed to approach others, giving myself a broader network. This thing can and will happen. My dream has wings!
There will always be something trying to hold you back, be it fear or, lack of funds, lack of... well, you name it. There are any number of excuses you can give yourself and, that many more that others can give you for not fulfilling your dreams. But, there are just as many reasons for chasing a dream as there are for holding on to it.