Planning for childbirth like you are planning for a marathon.

It's you, the pregnant woman, who is the center of the birthing universe. Yes, the baby is a VIP, but what is good for mom is always good for baby. So, look out for #1 at all times.

1. You have to get clear about what you want from your birthing experience before you can gather your support team.
I always ask the mothers I work with to draw a picture of their ideal birth setting- What are they doing? Who is with them? What is in the environment?
Often women don't even think about what they want. How can you prioritize and set goals if you don't know what you want? If you just accept what is given to you, you may not be totally happy. And on this day, of all days, you deserve to be happy.
2. Gathering your support team.
Your support team has to match your own personal birthing philosophy. Who you invite to be on your team- your midwife or doctor, the nurses, your labor support- partner, family or friends, and your doula - will all have an impact on your birth experience and the way your birth unfolds. Imagine you are preparing to run a marathon. You know your lungs are going to burn and your legs are going to ache but you've been preparing for this your whole life and this is a personal goal you have set for yourself to achieve. What if you invited your Aunt Marge who can't stand seeing you in pain. In the 15th mile she drives her car up to the checkpoint and tells you to get in. What would you do at that moment? You might get in? Or you might keep going for a few more miles until the image of Aunt Marge's car over takes you. What does this mean about your birth?
Do you know that the people you've invited to your birth will support and encourage you throughout the whole labor and birth? Have you asked your care provider how they have supported other birthing women they have worked with? Have you asked the nurses what their experiences have been? Have you communicated your wants to your partner and family? Have you communicated your preferences to your care providers, too?
Have you interviewed doulas to see if they can fill any gaps in support that you may have?
Dr.Phil always says. "The past is the best indicator for future behavior." Find out about your care provider's past interventions rates. Luckily, if you don't feel comfortable asking your care provider out right (that's ok, many mothers do) we have this great website that will show you. Choicesinchildbirth.org has all of the hospitals in our area and the rates of interventions used in that hospital. So if you want to decrease your chances of having a cesarean or an episiotomy and your hospital has a very high rate, you may want to do something that will change your odds for success, like switching care providers or hospital.
According to lamaze.org, "Research indicates that where and with whom a woman gives birth are two of the most important factors affecting her likelihood of having cesarean surgery. Regardless of her health status and risk factors, a woman who chooses a provider or birth setting with a low cesarean rate is less likely to have a cesarean."
3. Going for your goal and getting what you want.
Like running a marathon, giving birth is not just a physical act. A woman must also prepare her mind to focus on her goal. One way is to talk with other mothers who have had positive births. This may be hard to find so I would recommend the book Journey into Motherhood which is full of positive birth stories.