Gourmet Ramen

Ramen is a very versatile food. It is thought of as versatile because it is so cheap that us poor folk spend a lot of time thinking about what in the world we can do with it. It is also very, very tasty, and so we like to eat a lot of it.

If you are part of the newly poor, you must become acquainted with ramen. Perhaps you have seen them smiling at you from store shelves with their 25 cent price tag. "Maybe these are edible!" you think to yourself as your stomach grumbles. "Maybe I could eat them, and then spend a little money on milk or fruit or meat!" Ahhhh, the days gone by when you knew the sweet, savory flavor of morsels of chicken or dribbles of dairy product. (Or if you are vegetarian, tvp and various nut milks.) And indeed, it is true - if you eat more ramen, you will be able to regain a little of your former glory.

Of course, if you have been a college student in the last ten years, you know all about ramen, so for ye olde pros, I will only say this: Help the needy new ones in our fold. Share your knowledge with the hungry. Ramen Eaters, your country needs you now!

Before you begin using ramen for food, remove one of the blocks from its packaging. (You did by the bulk ramen because it is cheaper, right? Good.)

Turn it over in your hands. Marvel at the curly tendrils of wheaty delight. Ponder how the factory workers manage to make such tiny strands stick together. Become one with your tasty food block.

Observe the shiny foil packet which has been drifting aimlessly around one side of the noodles until you freed them from their plastic prison. Ponder the difference that a packet of granular substance makes to the flavor.

Chant with me now: Em Es Geeeeee....Em Es Geeee..... (Do this one for every ingredient the packaging lists.)

Ramen noodles are just like other noodles, but uniquely tasty. Therefore, you can use them for any noodle dish you please. Here are some very good things to do with them, though.

Basic ramen:
First, boil the noodles in water (Not orange soda) until they are limp and somewhat translucent. Drain the noodles of water, despite the package insisting that ramen is for soup. You are your own master, and no piece of plastic is going to tell you what's what. Sprinkle the delicious, oh so nutritious spice onto the noodles.

This, by itself, would be very tasty. But we will go one step further! Make sure that you are legally sanctioned to experience excitement before proceeding.

Variations:
1. Cook some breaded chicken nuggets (or some vegan/vegetarian alternative) to your taste. This is best done if they are crunchy. Slice each nugget into several slices. Arrange across your bowl of freshly cooked goodness. Call yourself Martha Stewart, and describe everything you are eating off of and sitting on as being from some classic collection.

2. Cook some hot dogs, and slice them like the previous thing. Because hot dogs are less classy-looking than chicken nuggets, call yourself Sandra Lee. Tell everyone in the room that you had nothing to do with creating the odious Kwanzaa cake recipe.