Long Distance Grandparenting
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Long Distance Grandparenting: Grandmas and Grandpas Don't Always Live Down the Street Anymore
Are you a long distance grandparent? Are you struggling with how long distance grandparenting will affect your relationship with your grandchildren?
When my sons were small, they rarely left my side. I can remember friends laughing about how the boys had to be in physical contact with my husband or myself almost all the time. Now at 30, 28, and 22, I rarely see them. All three have moved far away. Our 30-year-old is the father of two lovely little girls whom I adore. But they are across a continent and across an ocean -- a good nine hour time zones away! How to develop and maintain a relationship with such distance separating us?
When my grandparents emigrated from Ireland to the US, maintaining a relationship between grandparents and grandchildren was indeed an impossible situation. But today, with air travel and the internet, keeping in contact with each other is much more doable. This lens will explore the ways grandparents and grandchildren can maintain a bond, even in situations where distance is a challenge.
Contents at a Glance
Grandparents and Grandchildren: Ways to Keep in Touch
How Do We Maintain Long Distance Relationships?
1. Keep your sense of humour. The worst thing you can do is to let a challenging situation get you depressed. Besides, children respond well to nonjudgemental humour. Think of those belly laughs!
2. Write an individual letter to each grandchild. Even though letters may seem old fashioned to most people today, there is still something special in receiving a handwritten letter from someone you love.
3. Make a tape or CD of yourself reading a favourite children's book to your grandchild, and then send it along with a copy of the book in the mail.
4. Find time to phone and/or skype your family that is far away. Sometimes this is difficult because of time zones, so you may have to work to make it a priority. If time zones are not a big problem, celebrate how lucky you are!
5. Make a photo album or scrapbook your grandchild can read like a book. Put into it reminders of the last time you saw them. Add some things you want to tell them about and add captions.
6. Save up for a visit. Nothing can replace your lap, your hugs, your understanding ear, your smile.
Skype: A Great Tool for Grandparents and Grandchildren to Keep in Touch
Children Need to Know What You Look Like
If you don't yet have skype, this is where you can download it onto your computer:
- Download.com
- You can download Skype safely from this site.
Brag Books
Grandparent Photo Albums
Grandparents' Day Song
To Remind You How Important You Are to Some Little Person
Grandparents: Here Are Some Books to Support Your Role
Guides for Grandmothers and Grandfathers
Whose Responsibility Do You Think It Is to Keep in Touch over the Generations?
Grandparents Who Live Far Away or Moms and Dads?
Of course, everyone bears some responsibility for communication between the generations, but our underlying attitude will determine whether or not we step outside our comfort zone.
With the world getting smaller all the time, young people are more and more likely to meet and fall in love with someone from outside his or her family's cultural and religious group. Often this means that at least one side of the family will be far away from the young family's daily life.
Many young people move away because of work and study as well. These young families also find themselves far away from grandparents during the grandchildren's formative years.
All young families, whether they are initially aware of it or not, need the support of those outside the nuclear family in order to thrive in the midst of all the stresses of life with young children. Offering that support can be very difficult for grandparents who are neither wealthy nor all that free from their own work lives. This poses a dilemma.
Who do you think should take the first steps to bridge the distance between grandparents and grandchildren, the grandparents or the parents?
Do you think keeping in touch across generations is more the responsibility of the grandparents or the parents?
I think the parents should ensure that their children's grandparents are included and kept in the loop.
LisaAuch says:
I believe it should be a two way thing, I am really lucky and my daughter loves going to stay with her nana and gran! Grandparents can have great fun with the kids!
I think the grandparents need to make a greater effort as the parents are too overwhelmed with busy lives and child care.
Joan4 says:
Both parents and grandparents need to put forth an effort, but if the parents don't, then certainly the grandparents should do everything they can to build relationship.
wordstock says:
I wish you had a third choice but I think that in most cases it will be up to the grandparents. That is not to say that the parents aren't involved because most parents make the effort but when there is a communication breakdown, the grandparents need to step up.
Enter into a Conversation Here about How to Keep in Touch with Your Grandkids
Are There Any Gems of Wisdom You Can Pass on to the Rest of Us Lonely Grandparents?
Add your own thoughts about how to keep involved with your grandchildren.
Joan4 wrote...
What a super conversation about an issue that touches so many grandparents today! I am thankful mine live so close, but this summer I just may record myself reading a book -- for when they are on vacation! Blessed by a SquidAngel!
Posted March 20, 2011
GramaBarb wrote...
Good job dealing with an ever increasing problem. I think both sides need to work at it. Time has a way of slipping by when you are busy.
Posted March 17, 2011
LisaAuch wrote...
I encourage my daughter to telephone her Nana and Gran, to tell them of good news and things, we all visit each other often, although nana lives far away, we go for long weekends, or she will come and visit. and my daughter loves staying extra days with her Nana herself (my daughter has just turned 10) So although we are busy we make time!
Posted November 14, 2010
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Visit Your Grandkids If You Can!
Nothing Can Replace Hugging Your Grandchildren in Person!
One thing we grandparents have to get over is the idea that since our kids were the ones to move away from us, it is up to them to keep up the contact. True, we may not have wanted them to establish their lives far away, and maybe they even promised they would take on the burden of travel. Fact is, however, life is not as easy as it may seem when you are twenty and the whole world beckons at your door. Your children may wish to come visit, but finances always get in the way. So do new jobs and the challenges of traveling with children.
"Wait a minute!" you may be saying. "What about me and my challenges -- finances, health, my job, and on and on!"
True as well. But you are still your (grown-up) child's parent. And as parent, we still have to work to keep in connection with our children. Even more important -- we must keep in contact with our grandchildren who never made the decision to live far away and who need us to be their grandparents now.
Visit them. Even if it's a huge sacrifice. Even if you have to go without something that would make your life at home easier. You love them. They love you. They need you. And the relationship is so much more important than any physical comfort you may want to have.
Keep Your Brain Healthy with These Random Facts to Learn
Your Grandchildren Will Be Impressed with Your Immense and Wacky Knowledge!
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Share This Lens with Other Long Distance Grandparents You My Know
Let's Help Each Other Keep in Touch with Our Faraway Grandchildren
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Long Distance Grandparents: How Do You Manage to Keep in Touch? Or Just Leave a Note to Say You Were Here!
Thanks for visiting this site.
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wordstock Jan 15, 2011 @ 9:20 am | delete
- No, I'm not but this has some very helpful information. Angel blessed.
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mom247 Nov 18, 2010 @ 11:18 pm | delete
- I'm not a grandparent but I am a parent and my childrens' grandparents live on the other side of the world- a 24 hour flight away. It's a constant battle to keep them involved, which is a great sadness for both sides. In some ways though we are fortunate because skype has made a huge difference to the relationship. There is something much more immediate to seeing someone than to just talking on the phone.
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LisaAuch
Nov 14, 2010 @ 3:54 pm | delete
- Blessed by an Angel
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LisaAuch
Nov 14, 2010 @ 3:53 pm | delete
- Internet is a great thing with Skype!
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by sheilamarie
I am the proud grandmother of two lovely girls who live in France, so long distance grandparenting is a way of life for me. I treasure every moment we... more »
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