My Husband Hasn't Said I Love You in Almost Two Years - He is the Greatest Husband Alive

I noticed when I quit saying it, I never heard it again. I kept hoping he would say it. I went so far as writing it down on the calendar so I could keep track of how long it would be when he'd finally tell me he loved me. After changing out calendars, I lost that date. Now we find ourselves into another new year and I still haven't heard him say those words. Or - have I?

This really made me pause to reflect and really take a look at things. What was important? What just wasn't important at all. Just because society says it is.. is it?

I was married before. A terrible marriage with an abusive husband. I feel awkward even referring to David as my husband. He was never a husband. I just happened to have been married to him. He was so abusive that, years later, I was diagnosed with serious post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But let me tell you, that man said I love you a LOT - each time he apologized, when he wanted something, when he was drunk, when he wanted to fool someone other than me that he loved me or that we had a good marriage. Yeah, all those times happened a LOT so I heard those 'magic' three words a LOT.

Those words didn't mean SQUAT!

And today, you know what? Truth be told, they still don't mean squat to me. My first husband died when he was 27 years old. I was absolutely starved for love and terribly lonely. I thought those words meant something if they came from someone who really did love me. I'm not saying they didn't warm me inside each and every time John would say he loved me. It did. But, in the scale of things, with the weight of life itself, those words just don't mean squat. That may sound cold or jaded - and if you are reading this John - it's just not what I'm here for.


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I love you is just words. Now, as a writer, words are valuable to me. The right words said at the right time make all the difference. So don't I want to hear those words again? Well, sure. I imagine on his death bed he may say them again and that kind of makes me chuckle. Even then, it won't matter that he stopped saying I love you. It won't matter that I stopped saying I love you.

You know why?...

Because, in reality we never stopped saying I love you at all.

Actions speak volumes louder than words ever can. Even a knowing look, a touch or a glimmer of the eye can warm any heart with so much more intensity than those wimpy three little words ever could.

I am loved! I know this. I also know how truly valuable it is to KNOW without any shadow of doubt or suspicion that I am loved in a way that will outlast this life on earth. It is forever. My husband tells me with every breath he takes. And with every breath that my body enjoys, I feel he knows he is loved. I love my husband so much that just talking about him makes an excitement run through my veins that no drug could ever hold a candle to.




Who We Love is Part of Our Identity

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There are so many things John does or has done to make me feel he is the greatest husband alive. I'd like to share just a few of them with you.

I already had three young children when we married. His proposal was him going through, one by one, each of my boys in why he loved them and then me and then asked me to marry him. Best proposal ever! He proposed to all of us!

I hate flowers as apologizes. I told him to never ever get me flowers if he felt a need to apologize. He never did have a need to apologize, believe it or not. We've never had a fight in all of our 15 years together. Disagreements, yes. But I like to think we respect each other too much to fight. But, flowers? He has brought me home COUNTLESS bouquets of flowers for absolutely no reason at all! LOVE!

When we were first married, we didn't watch much television, etc. We always had the radio on, however. If a good slow song would come on, he would grab me and we'd slow dance in the kitchen. How romantic is that?!

I have really odd dreams. I could seriously write books about them they are so out-there-wild. I've had one nightmare many times a month for years. A polar bear chases me through the woods along with about four other people who vary in the dream but he always catches me and bites me. The only dream where I know I'm dreaming but can't stop the bite and feel the pain even after I wake up. Disturbing, of course. John gave my dream serious thought and told me that next time I should face the bear instead of running away. I did. He didn't bite me and I NEVER had the dream again! He's also a hero. But, seriously, it is nice to know someone loves you enough to even take care of you when you are sleeping.

Speaking of sleeping, I had sleep apnea. This means I'd stop breathing in my sleep. It's been so bad that he'd have to shake me awake to get me breathing again. Sadly, even after getting a sleep study done and getting a cpap machine, he would lay awake every night to make sure I was breathing. That is one reason I had weight loss surgery. I couldn't stand that I was causing him that kind of distress and worry. It wasn't fair. But God love him, you can't get better proof of love than that and it wasn't a complaint on his part. Just fact.

Read my personal story on my weight loss surgery here.

After having gall bladder surgery, I found it incredibly difficult to swallow my pain pills and I am a light-weight for such things, preferring to only take a half dose. John not only cut every pill in half for me, he painstakingly rounded each half like a little round candy so the sharp edges didn't harm me when I swallowed them.

Even after all these years, he holds doors for me and likes me to go first when we go somewhere.

When I want to try something he thinks is dumb - like deciding to raise parrots which meant we lost a huge amount of money at - he has never told me no. He supports absolutely anything that makes me happy. Knowing that I can pursue different things with my life whether it be raising parrots, going back to college or writing online with his total support even if he doesn't necessarily think it's as fabulous sounding as me is very freeing. When you decide to spend your life with someone, you need to know that you can still grow and pursue things. He is the best partner ever.

I could go on and on about all the things I love about this man and how great he makes me feel about myself but I'm afraid I'd have you stuck here reading for hours so I'll stop here.