Freelance greeting card writing

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Come browse through my greeting-card-writing link collection!

Writers' Guidelines

Design Design
Traditional, contemporary, "hip traditional," or whimsical. Pays $50.
Designer Greetings
Humor (cute or witty, but always "safe for Grandma") and traditional (rhymed or unrhymed). Snail mail submissions only.
NobleWorks
Submit copy and images together, or apply to be on their mailing list, and they will send you images to be captioned. Pays $150. Edgy, campy, and often, but not always, risque. Funny cards that "can charm the most jaded of urban dwellers."
Oatmeal studios
Conversational humor cards and notepads. They're a tough market to crack, but they are very nice to work with. Pays $75.
Papyrus
They say, "Witty humor is always in demand! Cute remarks, silly puns, clever quips, double entendres and simple visual gags" are all good. But avoid off-color and sophomoric humor. They also buy short, conversational contemporary, and for holidays, unrhymed traditional/sentimental. Snail mail submissions only! Pays up to $150 (??)
Peaceable Kingdom Press
Write text to go with their illustrations. Primarily geared towards kids. Have to apply to be on their list. Pays $50.
P.S. Greetings ( Fantus Paper Products)
Mostly traditional cards, with some alternative. Submit via snail mail. They don't say how much they pay. I don't know anyone who has sold to them.
Smart Alex
"Funny, edgy, and risque" cards. They respond very quickly. Not sure, but I think they pay $75.

Samples

Andrews McMeel
Humor
Avanti Press
Photo cards with short captions inside
Comstock
Shock humor
Ephemera
Buttons and refrigerator magnets -- edgy humor
Gramma Burp
Humor with retro images
Hallmark Shoebox
Humor
Intergreet
This is a wholesaler. They carry different brands, including American Greetings humor
Kalan
Shock humor
Nobleworks
Edgy humor
Oatmeal
Humor
Papyrus
Humor and non-humor
Snafu
Humor with drawings
someecards
Edgy humor

Humor writers, don't miss this

Trends in greeting cards
Card companies publish humor based on everyday life events.

About the companies

Oatmeal Studios
The story of how two ex-New Yorkers founded this Vermont card company. (Nation's Business, November 1990)
Smart Alex
Interview with Smart Alex founder Jay Blumenfeld (Inc.com January 2008)
Someecards
Company founded by a former writer for the Onion.

Writing captions for pictures

19 ideas for writing funny cartoon captions
This talks about entering the New Yorker cartoon captioning contest, but I think it applies just as well to captioning pictures for greeting card companies.

Rejection sucks

Card companies usually buy only a tiny fraction of the ideas that they receive, so for a freelance card writer, the rejection never stops.

But misery truly does love company, so read on:
Hallmark's rejected ideas
A full-time staff writer for Hallmark said that in the 18 years he's been writing cards, he's written 80,000 ideas, and only 7,000 of those actually became cards. So even a full-time pro, with all of the resources of Hallmark at his disposal, gets most of his ideas turned down!

The Shoebox staff collect ideas that make them laugh but were turned down for being unsellable, often because they cross over the line of good taste. They dub these ideas "Funny, But No," and post them on a huge fabric "No" that spans an office wall.
Samples of Hallmark's "Funny, But No" ideas
From NPR.
"Funny, But No" for Father's Day
From the Shoebox blog
Very fine lines
A story of freelance cartoonists who submit to the New Yorker, where their chances of acceptance are slight (sound familiar?), and yet they persevere, week after excruciating week. Inspiring, in an odd kind of way.

Funny, but no

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Rejection Collections

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Comedy Writing Secrets

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More books

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And a few more books

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Freelance writing books on eBay

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Writer swag

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by

Eeek

I've been doing freelance greeting card writing on and off for 20 years!  Eeek!

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