Nasty Candy! How Weird Can It Get?

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Gross, Weird, and Nasty Candy

What is the worst, most foul, most sick and wrong candy of all time? This lens will have a look at some confections that, frankly, just should never have been made. Ever. By anyone. From poop-oriented sweets to random body parts and bugs, candy has gone off the deep end recently. Does it taste good? Who knows? Who cares? It's gross and weird and funny, and this lens dares to get up close and personal. Take a deep breath and hold on to your lunch...

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Collon, Asse, and Plopp -- Oh My!

Collon candy isn't intentionally gross -- it's Japanese, and the name is merely coincidental. Or is it? One look at the brown, cream-filled tubes makes you wonder if those guys weren't actually chuckling as they put this thing together.

Asse -- the Japanese candy industry strikes again! Pair this delicacy with Chunky and you've got... a Chunky Asse? Deeeelicious!

Mmmm, Plopp. Chewy brown chocolate goodness. Want some? No? Oh. All the more Plopp for me!

Bonus Sweet: Sour Flush Candy. Kind of like Lik M Aid, only the candy stick is a plunger and the dip candy is in a toilet bowl. So go ahead -- dip the plunger in the toilet and lick it dry. Urg.

Sour Flush Candy

If your idea of yummy sweetness is dipping a plumber's Helper into a toilet bowl and then into you mouth, then go for it! This stuff is seriously gross, folks. Can't see anyone over the age of ten actually liking it, much less walking out in public doing it...

Get Your Nasties Here!

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Candy-Food Collisions

Bacon Mints
Bacon this, bacon that. Bacon chocolate we can pretty much handle, although let's face it, it's gross. But bacon mints were never meant to be. Why would anyone imagine that smoked pig meat and fresh breath belong in the same sentence, let alone in the same tin? Gross and weird, no two ways about it.



Chocolate Covered Pork Rinds
Maybe a little too bacon-oriented to be taken seriously, but the salty fat of a pork rind and the sweet taste of the chocolate might possibly be interesting. Weird, but maybe not entirely gross.



Dill Pickle Mints
Just... No. Okay? No.

Wanna Try Some Dill Pickle Mints?

Gross Stuff on Amazon

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Bugs n' Such

White Chocolate Maggots and Cockroach Bites
Starting out with a couple of easy ones here. These are gross, but the bugs aren't real -- the candy just looks and crunches like you would expect. The actual horror of dealing with spiny legs caught in your teeth is missing in these, though you could probably creep out your mom with these.

Scorpion Suckers
Now this is more like it. An actual, spiny, crunchy scorpion in a delicious sweet lollipop. Lick it long enough and you'll have a pretty nasty little mouthful to deal with. Gross AND weird.

HotLix Suckers
This candy company gets pretty far out there with what they will wrap in sugar and put on a stick. Not only so they offer beetles, worms, and bugs of all kinds, they also have jalapeno and other brutally hot pepper lollipops. Our kind of candy maker!

A Little Extra Crunch in Your Candy

Bug Candy on Amazon

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Snot, Sweet Snot

Hose Nose Candy
Pretty much genius if you ask us. This candy is in the shape of a big nasty nose that you strap on over your own nasty nose. The candy is snot, which oozes out of the nostrils -- you're supposed to stick your tongue out and catch the snot candy as it flows out. Disgusting, and pretty dang cool.

Scabs, Eyeballs, and Earwax

Candy Scabs
Another genius move. Candy Scabs are little band-aids with red crusty candy scabs stuck to them. Remember those wonderful days of falling off your bike, skinning your knee, and then waiting for the scab to fall off? Now you can have your memories and EAT them, too.

Eyes of Terror Gumballs
The best thing about these suckers is the wrecked, bloodshot appearance. They really kind of look like they were yanked out of a corpse, and not too recently, either. You may actually think twice before you pop these in your mouth.

Ear Wax Candy
Who knew that ear wax was actually a tasty, fruit-flavored paste? All this time we've been cleaning out our ear wax and throwing the dirty q-tip away. That's a lot of candy goodness going to waste, my friend.

Eyeball Delights!

Sweet Body Parts Candy on Amazon

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Crime Scene Candy

The folks over at Niftycandy.com put together this mess, a handful of some of the basic body part candies out there, and also a few gummi worms for good (or bad) measure. The result does kind of resemble a crime scene, if the victim lived in a gingerbread house.

Rats!

Candy Rats on Amazon

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And the Winner Is...

THE CAT BOX CAKE

The clear winner of this parade of nastiness is not a candy at all but a baked good -- or baked BAD, to be more precise. Behold the cat box cake! This lovely item is perfect for your cat's birthday, or to completely alienate your child on their birthday. Can't quite imagine actually eating this, can you?

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Leave Some Gross Comments!

  • JGracey Apr 23, 2012 @ 3:41 pm | delete
    Okay, those are definitely gross and ... certainly great for not putting any more flab on my hips since I wouldn't be eating them, lol
  • beaworkathomemom Apr 6, 2012 @ 12:42 am | delete
    They don't look enticing but definitely artistic and clever.
  • jercow75 Feb 29, 2012 @ 7:35 pm | delete
    I may never eat candy again. Gross lens, in a good way. I laughed at a lot of it, until i got to the scorpion suckers. Not sure what to really say on that one.
  • TheLifestyleChanger Feb 27, 2012 @ 6:01 pm | delete
    Gosh - what gets into the creative minds at food companies!
  • Morgannafay Feb 18, 2012 @ 3:49 pm | delete
    LOL! You've got me laughing my butt off. I have a friend who gets sick whenever she sees the infamous kitty litter cake! Of course i find that funny too.

    I especially loved your commentary on the plopp chewy toilet candy. ROFL! "More plopp for me!"
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webkangaroo

Hi and welcome to my lenses! There's a little bit of everything here, from candy to car chases. I have spent a lot of years on this planet picking up... more »

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