Groundhogs: 5 reasons they suck as pets

1.  Groundhogs Hibernate!  My groundhogs hibernate in my basement all winter long.  This may sound like a good thing, but when they wake up in the spring, it's a different story.  Each year, right around March Madness, these little critters come climbing up from the basement.  Not only are they very hungry, but the males are looking for a new mate, which means I have a family of groundhogs jockeying for position to hump my leg. It's weird and frustrating.  Having to deal with a randy and hungry groundhog in an urban environment is rough to say the least.

2.  Digging.  These animals absolutely LOVE to dig.  I usually have to replace the carpeting in my townhouse twice a year.  Last July Buford II dug right through the dry wall and wedged himself in between the walls.  I had to call a contractor to help me remove him AND he bit me during the process.  I had to get yet another rabbies shot.

3.  Veterinarian Care.  Not many vets will even agree to see a "pet" groundhog, let alone have experience in dealing with one.  I only brought my little guy to the vet once and it was not a pleasant experience.  The vet told me I shouldn't try to domesticate a wild animal and she threatened to call animal control. We got the hell out of there before she had the chance to report us.

4.  Whistle pigs are not good with kids.  When I first got my groundhog, I tried to get him comfortable around children.  I assume he perceived the children as threats, which is why he started snarling so viciously.  Thankfully no one was hurt.  For safety measures, I always put him on a leash when we go out and I usually tie a piece of string around his snout so he doesn't snap at anyone.   

5.  Special dietary needs.  The pet stores don't carry groundhog food, so I just feed him table scraps which may be why he weighs about 45 pounds and is very lethargic.  His favorite snack is Bugles and I sometimes let him eat taffy and pretend he is trying to talk.