As addicts and alcoholics we love to focus our minds on the negative. The more negative the better for our disease. Most of us arrive at the doors of The Program as victims. Everyone is responsible for our using, except, of course, us. When we run out of people to blame, we blame God. I mean, He's the logical choice, right? There is a very bizarre notion being passed around both, in and out, of the rooms. We all know that God is sovereign, that is if we believe He created us and the world we live in. But we take it a step too far. We decide that He is in control of everything here on Earth. We are sure that nothing bad happens unless God allows it. We forget that it is man, and not God, who is in charge of this planet and everything that goes on here. Man is a Free Agent with a Free Will. This is where it gets tricky and just a little bit muddled in our minds. There are spiritual forces, powerful spiritual forces. Our disease is a spiritual force. An incredibly negative force. God is a spiritual force. A fantastic and powerful force. Neither of these Higher Powers can function on this Earth unless they have the cooperation of a man or woman. That's just the fact of the matter. Everything bad comes from men cooperating with the negative powers that be. We are easily lured into that cooperation because of our natural inclination to be self-centered. Our disease thrives on the negativity that springs out our desire to get what we want when we want it. And when we don't? Well, we're just so sad about it that we drink or use to forget about people not acting right by giving us what we want. Some of us become vicious, demanding and taking our due, some of us are subtle, passive aggressive manipulators. We lie. We steal. We run over other people, and everywhere we go there is destruction and chaos. Yet, in the midst of all this, we still feel sorry for ourselves and all the wrong that's been done. "If it weren't for these people, everything would be perfect and My needs would surely be met". "God is punishing me". "God hates me". And on and on and on... Ask any "Winner" in the program how they achieved serenity and joy and they will tell you, "I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity and I turned my will and my life over to a caring, loving, and compassionate God. Then, as an expression of the love I received from Him, I became more concerned about the welfare of other people and less concerned about me". In step 2 and 3 we agree to stop serving self-centeredness. "Relieve me of the bondage of self". We accept that God, who we know so very little about at this stage, has a better way for us to live. In step 4 we find out exactly what our will has been and what forms it has been taking. We realize that we have been perpetrating all manner of evil. It is eye opening. We confess in step 5 and take 100% responsibility for ourselves, our actions, and our defective methods. And then? Quite simply responsibility and the absence of blame creates change. Steps 6 through 9 cement that change. In a daily step 10 we maintain our serenity by eliminating any negative thinking that has found its way into our new world. In this condition we become friends with the God of our understanding. Our conscious contact increases. We realize that this loving, kind, compassionate, merciful God actually needs us. He can do nothing on this earth without the cooperation of man's heart and imagination. We are the ones who create or destroy. In this condition we are fully equipped to carry the message. Many of us find our purpose and our destiny at this point. We have a unique ability to carry the message to a people who are so sick and unreasonable that only a person who understands their dilemma first hand can reach them. This ability, now enhanced with the forceful power of a loving God, brings an indescribable joy. I promise, if you do what needs to be done; go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps and join a home group, not only will you discover who you are, you will also find yourself living in a new world, a much friendlier, kinder world.

There is a strange notion afoot that God is some sort of Mad Scientist dreaming up bizarre and painful ways to force people to admit they need Him. It's enough to make anyone agnostic! In reality God is being completely misunderstood. We are told that the only requirement for choosing a "Higher Power" is that He be loving, kind and compassionate. That He never tests our recovery, but is always at our side ready to help and lend support when life throws us a curve ball. So, we have a disease. Where did it come from if not from God? I can only speak of the development of my personal disease. Whether I was born with a predisposition, or not, is of little consequence. I am the one who made the choice to put toxic chemicals in my body. I learned to make that choice by watching the people around me. Some substances took me years of practice, taking them over and over, before I developed a physical compulsion and actually needed them. Others seemed to correct something that was biologically wrong in my brain creating an immediate psychological addiction. I may very well have been born with a biological imbalance, but I have learned in the program that using never succeeds in correcting the problem. It is a false correction that deceives me into believing I am well when, in reality, I am simply too high to care anymore. During this phase, where I am convinced I have found the answer to all my problems, that I can correct my deficiencies by self-medicating, I am exacerbating a manageable situation and forcing it to become completely unmanageable. Who is responsible for giving me this disease? I am responsible, not God, ME! God has not given me a disease to force me to Him. I have grown a predisposition, of my own free will, to such a degree that I am powerless, on my own, to stop it. That God loves me so completely, is waiting with open arms to help me, is 100% behind AA, NA and every other A, makes it quite clear that He is involved in the Solution, not the problem. God may be sovereign, but he is not in control of the choices people make. I had to cooperate with the disease to give it power. I am responsible. I now choose to cooperate with the program which leads me to a God of my understanding. My God loves me, cares for me, and encourages me. If I were to go to heaven right now, I am convinced that my disease would not be allowed in. Addiction is an earthly disease. I am learning to manage it with heavenly tools. I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of the God of my understanding. "Thy Kingdom Come Thy Will Be Done, On Earth As It Is In Heaven". I don't understand most of it. I don't have to. What I do know is the steps work and I know deep in my heart's understanding that I no longer fight the disease with earthly weapons. Now I fight from heaven and one day at a time I win that fight.

A newly clean and sober person suffers from a physical compulsion to use; a psychological obsession that tells them to use, and a condition of spiritual bankruptcy. It is recommended that a newcomer go to 90 meetings in 90 days. There are many reasons for this. A physical compulsion is best described as a full body craving. Hopefully, you got the opportunity to go to detox and inpatient, or outpatient treatment. Sometimes it is a matter of days, sometimes weeks, depending on the substance, before the physical cravings stop being constant. For the first 3 months a recovering addict often experiences intense cravings several times a day. It is so helpful to know you are going to a meeting. You know everyone is routing for you and they've let you know that they believe in you. In the beginning there is something so rewarding about showing up at a meeting with another 24 hours. Next is the psychological compulsion. The newcomers anxiety level is so high he can often feel like he's having a heart attack. So, he raises his hand at a meeting and says, "I think I'm having a heart attack"! Everyone thanks him for sharing and has a little lighthearted laugh. The newcomer thinks this is odd, but finds himself having a little grin. Then the heart of the whole room bends toward him in compassion and everyone who speaks remembers that they felt exactly the same way. They share how they made it through, and even better what it is like for them now. We all understand the experience of the newcomer. You are not alone. You are in a room full of people who know you FEEL MUCH BETTER! "What"?, you say. And, again, that bizarre laughter. Yes, you are told, you feel pain better; you feel guilt better; you feel shame better; you feel anger better; you feel all your feelings MUCH, MUCH BETTER, followed by more laughter. By now any physical cravings you had when you walked in the door have lifted. You are laughing at your problems and you know you belong. As for your spiritual condition, this will take time and work, but every person who walks through the doors of a meeting house, walks into the presence of a Higher Power, God, if you will. This is the unseen miracle of meetings. It is the breath of relief you take when you enter the room. It is the peace and temporary absence of worry that descends on you as you take your seat. It is an entire hour of rest from the bloodiest battle of your life. It is a beautiful free gift from all of us to all of you. Come and join us Today!

When I first arrived in recovery I was hard pressed to remember the last time I had fun using. I have an interesting disease that convinces me that I am having a good time even though I am harming myself and everyone around me. I kind of understand this type of insane thinking if I am actively drinking or using, because, after all, I am wasted. But, just like the person that asked this question, I was very concerned about whether or not I would have fun in recovery. All I knew was that I was in serious emotional pain and all the chaos that I had created while using had become way too real. I longed for a drug-induced haze of oblivion, but that was, at best, a far-fetched fantasy. I had reached the place we all despise. The place where no matter how much you drink, or use, you can't get high and you're too physically addicted to stop. So, the detox is over, and the future appears threatening and, quite frankly, bleak. It is out of desperation that I ask the question, "Will I ever have fun again". The answer is definitely, YES! If I do what I need to do which is go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the 12-steps of recovery and join a home group I will walk out of this mess I've created into a life full of joy, harmony, beauty, love and and fun. It is a process. I have walked down the wrong path. I now need to turn around and walk through what my addiction and I have created. And as I walk back out through the destruction I learn to put down my self-centered ways one at a time, one day at a time. I soon realize that, for the first time, I am on a journey of true self-discovery. I begin feeling the real person on the inside of me. The person God intended; the person of purpose and destiny. I see that there is beauty all around me. I gain sincere friendships. My strength returns. I grow. Before I know it I am camping with my new friends. I am off to concerts I will remember the next day. I am at the ballgame laughing with my sober gang. I am helping and caring for the newcomer. I am facing life head on and walking through situations I used to run from. I am not as concerned with what everyone else thinks about me, because, for the first time, I like myself. For me the most fun I've had is discovering that I really enjoy this new person that is me. The world around me has opened up and it is fascinating. I am sure this is because I have opened up and I am quite fascinating, as are you. You can do this! I believe in you. Stick with it, keep going, you will be utterly amazed. Soon, you will be having some real fun!

You do not have to believe in God to begin this journey. All you have to understand is that there are forces beyond yourself that are more powerful than you. Your addiction to drugs and, or, alcohol brought you to your knees. It turned out to be much more powerful than you. The elements of nature, wind, water, earth and fire are all potentially more powerful than you when provoked. Two people are more powerful than one and a group of people is a powerful force. The point is all you need to acknowledge is that a power greater than yourself exists. You already know that the power behind the disease of addiction is not loving, kind or compassionate. It is a powerful force that wants you dead. When we begin our recovery we need to begin the process of switching teams. One team leads to death and the other to life. You have already chosen life by staying clean and sober one day at a time. The next step is to enlist the powerful force of a loving, kind and compassionate "Higher Power". For the die-hard atheist or agnostic, and our society has many, it is suggested that you make a group of recovering addicts your higher power. Speak openly with them about your disbelief. Rely on their experience strength and hope. Follow their suggestions. AA and NA are simple, spiritual, non-religious programs designed especially for you. I would like to quote from page 43 of the Big Book here: "What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would have not taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in cases such as yours. For most cases there is virtually no other solution". We are not easily reasoned with. If we were, psychiatrists would be curing us left and right. We have a disease that convinces us we are having a great time as we slowly kill ourselves and destroy everyone and everything we profess to love and cherish. We think good is bad and bad is good. We are upside down and inside out. We have a spiritual disease that requires a spiritual cure. Luckily, we do not need to understand the mysteries of the universe. We get to keep it simple. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the 12-steps and join a home group. That's plenty right there. Remember, "Easy Does It"...