Kaiju: Giant Movie Monsters Headquarters

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Kaiju: Giant Movie Monsters

Kaiju are "strange beasts" that roam the screens of monster movies (kaiju eiga).  When they have a roughly humanoid shape they're called kaijin, and the really big ones are called daikaiju in Japanese.


Roughly, kaiju refers to giant movie monsters like Gamera, Godzilla, King Kong, and (in one movie at least) Frankenstein's monster.  The Japanese use the term to include smaller critters as well, but generally the word, in the United States at least, focuses on the big boys.


The name is Japanese, but kaiju can strike all around the world. Let's visit some of the hot spots of kaiju activity over the years.

Denmark: Reptilicus

Movie poster for Reptilicus"I really have a craving to finally see Reptilicus," I said to my friend and favorite shlock-culture guru, Buncheman. "I was hoping it was in your vast library of kaiju films, but I see it's not.

The Buncheman's reply to my message to very much to the point.

"REPTILICUS is not in my collection for a reason. It's an unmitigated piece of shit and you miss nothing by not seeing it. Take my word on this one and steer clear."

"Dammit, now I don't know what to do," I replied. "My logical mind trusts your advice, but my reptilian brain wants to know for itself." I could feel my primitive rubbernecking gene rearing its primeval urges. How bad does a movie have to be for someone like the Buncheman to shun it entirely?

“Very well, but you have been warned.”

Review without a view

That warning bouncing around my head, I turned to Netflix, and alas, discovered I could not order this movie on DVD, nor view it instantly. My research found that Buncheness was not the only one to give this film bad marks, either, although some /www.jabootu.com/reptilicus.htm">reviews of Reptilicus were more in-depth than his succinct assessment. Like the one who explained that he was "/www.bmoviecentral.com/bmc/reviews/112-reptilicus-1962-82-minutes.html">unable to find anything interesting to say about this film or anyone in it." But then again, another reviewer says I "seriously need to see the horrid special effects" they use for this acid-spitting monster, so part of me is still morbidly curious.

The only way I'm going to see it is if I fork over the cash.
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Shall I risk Reptilicus?

Given that I love really terrible daikaiju films, and that all the experts agree that this one is so horrible that I should still think twice, is it worth the money and time spent, or will I be too scarred to emerge whole if I dare it?

Should I watch Reptilicus?

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Sure, how bad can it be?

John H. says:

Absolutely!!!! The film has some of the funniest dialog in any classic B movie. I own the DVD release and we love to watch it and have a good laugh. Yes, the special effects are low grade but isn't that why we love B movies?

HELLS no!

 

Italy: Ymir

In another surprisingly cross-cultural attack, Rome and its environs see a visit from a Venusian creature which, for reasons never adequately explored, is named after a mythic Norse giant. (Considering how hot Venus is thought to be, the name becomes even stranger; Ymir is associated with cold and ice.)

If you think Ymir's cries are more anguished than aggressive, you're probably right. The creature was hatched on Earth and grew quickly in our oxygen-rich atmosphere, and only attacked when provoked. Its entire life story is chronicled in 20 Million Miles to Earth. Poor bastard never had a chance.
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Japan - Frankenstein

Kaiju Frankenstein

What's that, you say? You don't understand how a crazed German scientist can be a little-known Japanese kaiju? Aren't they focused on teh horrors of radiation? Well all things are possible in the land of giant movie monsters!

Although everyone knows that Victor Frankenstein didn't actually name his creation after himself, "everybody" includes neither movie makers nor kaiju movie translators, so somewhere along the line Dr. Frankenstein's creation was named after him, instead of calling him Adam (like Mary Shelley did) or Prometheus (which would have been as bad a name as "Frankenstein," but might have been the big fella's name if he had ever gone toe-to-toe with King Kong).

Frankenstein can never die, or at least his heart cannot, which is the reason why it was delivered by the Nazis to Japanese scientists in Hiroshima for experiments in immortality. Keep feeding it protein and it will grow a whole new body. Who knew that those pesky Allies would drop a nasty bomb on the lab shortly thereafter?

His heart may never die, but Frankenstein is just as susceptible to radiation as anyone. Of course, radiation can't kill him, so it's just going to have to make him grow larger. And larger. And larger. He hits 71 feet in his only appearance, but one can only guess how much larger he may have gotten if a volcano hadn't interfered with his growth spurt.

Perhaps the most intelligent kaiju, Frankenstein is not capable of human speech, but he fashions pit traps and uses fire. He also has a modicum of compassion, and despite his voracious appetite he avoids including humans in his diet.

Frankenstein Conquers the World

or, Frankenstein vs. Giant Monster Baragon

Our buddy Frank doesn't actually even try to conquer the world, despite what the previews might suggest. He's more into conquering has appetite except when beautiful ladies are threatened. Yes, he has a lady-love, and the way he deals with her shows what a different sort of kaiju he is: despite his uncanny ability to find her window in all the buildings of Hiroshima, he doesn't pull a Kong by yanking her out and scurrying away with his prize. Nope, he just wants to say hi!
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. . . vs. the Giant Octopus?

Frankenstein vs. the giant octopus OodakuApparently Frankenstein was so tough to call (being able to regrow limbs and having an immortal heart and all that), because his only film appearance originally had a rather unexpected and bizarre ending. After the climactic fight with Baragon in the mountains, a Giant Octopus shows up to finish the big boy off. It might have been fun to see him take on more than one enemy, but apparently trying to figure out why an octopus would go so far afield to find him was even ridiculous for a kaiju movie, because instead he just fell into a volcanic hole, and is presumably trying to regrow himself to this day . . .
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United States - The Giant Claw

How many times can you find a giant prehistoric beast from a distant anti-matter galaxy threatening our skies? Well it happened when The Giant Claw came to town! The trailer of this classic show how much horror our poor protagonists must put up with, and then Daniel Wickwire gives his review for Kaiju Movie Review.

The Giant Claw is the best of Muppetronics and Bug-Eyed Monsters come together in a movie that is packed with overly dramatic music. One can only wonder what might have been possible if they had been able to hire Ray Harryhausen like they'd wanted to!
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KMR reviews The Giant Claw

Reviewer Daniel Wickwire's review.
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Nine monsters, one fight

Climactic Destroy All Monsters fight scene

This fight from Destroy All Monsters shows nine Toho Studios kaiju in one messy fight sequence. The movie isn't all sounds like it should be, because some of the monsters only appear in lame stock footage and don't get any real fight time. Wouldn't you actually want to see Godzilla wrestle a giant spider?
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Who should be featured next?

Want to see your favorite man in a latex suit spotlighted here? Submit and vote for the next to be featured. Please restrict your submissions to the creatures that appear in giant Japanese monster movies and their copies, and ten votes is all it takes to get featured.

Godzilla

Claims to be "King of the Monsters"2 points

King Kong

Mindless ape or cunning foe?2 points

Gamera

Rocket-powered giant turtle2 points

Mothra

Comes with her own cult!1 point

Rodan

Wings of doom.1 point

Gaos

How does a giant vampire bat drink human blood, ex more...1 point

King Ghidorah

What can be better than a three headed space drago more...1 point

Cloverfield

What is this thing??0 points

Cinemassacre's Top Ten

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What's your favorite giant monster movie?

Tell us about your preferred Japanese-style giant monster movie.

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otherlleft wrote...

Final Wars was awesome!

ReplyPosted February 11, 2012

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toucan_sam wrote...

My favorite giant monster is KING GHIDORAH! But, my favorite giant monster movie is Godzilla final wars.

ReplyPosted May 12, 2010

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dylan
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dylan wrote

i could say my favorite giant monster is tri pod

ReplyPosted April 10, 2009

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