Growing Old is Good

A Fair Trade nonprofit, focusing on women, children and disabled living in sub-poverty throughout the world. Our Mission is to bring global economic justice to those who can least compete in the world market.

Women's Future Benefit is known in 29 countries and still growing. We are "brokers" [without a fee] between artisans and Fair Trade dealers. It is our main job to find and work with artisans, pay them outright for their goods at fair trade prices, pay for all the packaging and shipping costs, and then resell those items into global Fair Trade markets. The proceeds of those sales are then recycled back to the artisans as payment.

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There comes a moment in every woman's life when she realises she has to stop fretting over what other people think. It might be when you see 'the look' flit across your mother's face as your kids do that thing they do. Or it might be when you've created a lovely meal and your partner says, when asked if he's enjoying it, "It's ok."

'They' (and you know who 'they' are) are the bubble-bursters. They may not do it on purpose but you suddenly realise that you have allowed the level of your happiness to be dictated by their response. As this realisation dawns, know that from now on, from this day forth, you are going to PLEASE YOURSELF.

Begin by disagreeing. Next time you are in a discussion with friends or family, say loudly, "I disagree." And watch them look at you in surprise. Say what you think. Give them a few home truths even. Then leave the room. Smiling.

Do something out of character. Something scary. Something silly. Jump out of a plane, learn to tango. Wear purple and red together. Okay, it doesn't need to be that dramatic... but really just do something differently today. For you. And don't stop to contemplate what anyone else thinks.

Photo courtesy of Obscure Allusion, under the Creative Commons Licence.

Every skill my granny had, she learned before I was born when she would have been 50 (younger than I am now - eeek!). I don't recall her learning one new thing after that. Oh she read the papers and watched TV but I can't remember her even trying a new recipe. Now, I loved my gran, she virtually raised me because my mother always worked (there's one who never bowed to conventionality!), but she did not encourage 'new' learning. It was okay for me to learn what she knew and, bear in mind, that her world was enclosed by her four walls but there was no way I could develop my own understanding of the world around me. She had her opinions so therefore I also had her opinions. If I asked an awkward question or ventured a different point of view she would verbally slap me down, saying, "You've a lot to learn, my girl." Which was quite odd, when you think about it. I suppose she thought I would inevitably come to understand that she was right.

Sorry, Gran. You weren't.

Never have a closed mind. Treat the second half of your life as one vast learning opportunity. Struggle, if you must, but never stop learning. Let curiosity drive you forwards. Use 'What if?'s all the time and then you won't suffer too many 'If only's. See yourself as an expanding, knowledge-hungry being. You can always learn one more thing today. What do you want to do?

Photo courtesy of quinn.anya, under the Creative Commons Licence.

It's lovely to pamper ourselves and glam up now and then but it's not a good thing to be constantly chasing youthful looks. It's time to accept that a few wrinkles and grey hairs are not the end of the world.

I would hate to be the sort of person who thinks they can cheat time by going under the knife - again and again. Or using chemical peels or having injections of Botox. What's the point? The fear alone, of ageing, is enough to cause your looks to go quicker. The best facelift you can ever give yourself is a beautiful smile... and not one that is artificially white either.

Photo: Daily Mail

I have been colouring my hair since I was in my 20s. First of all I did it to change the way I looked, not realising what a nice colour (deep, shiny brown) it already was. So it went red and magenta and light brown, and blonde streaks and then very, very blonde. Then I was dying it to hide grey roots. And then one day I decided not to do that any more. I was concerned that constant colouring would have a bad effect on my health and I was curious to see what I would look like. So I let it grow a bit and allowed the grey to merge into the blonde. Then a year or so ago I went and had all the blonde cut out. That was way radical! Even my hairdresser couldn't believe someone would actually be happy going grey. But I was and I am.

I would never dye my hair again, except for maybe... going purple!

Photo: Me, age 42 trying to hide the grey (and failing!).

What I mean is just take every opportunity to try a new experience. You don't have to get on a plane to get a taste of a foreign land these days. Try the food - eat something this week from another country that you have never tried before. Look at a book on Caribbean decor to see if you can bring that glorious culture into your home. Wear something from a hot land - a sari, perhaps? Buy a Moroccan wall-hanging. Read travel books. Read the magazine, "Islands". Watch old British movies. Try talking with an Australian accent!

Photo courtesy of Claude Renault, under the Creative Commons Licence.

No, don't! I had my penultimate baby at 39 and my last at 42. Now at 51 years of age I am definitely not able to keep up with them any more. However, they do make you feel young and, thankfully, no-one yet has asked me if they are my grandkids!

There are definite advantages and disadvantages. No, I can't run round the park and climb trees with them but I have got more patience (maybe) and an awareness that every moment of their childhood is precious. They also help me to understand that each second I have to myself is also just as precious.

Photo: My three babies

Like all kids, when I was young, I was terrified of losing someone close to me. As I grew older, it was the thought death itself which gave me the heebie-jeebies. Now I am careening towards it, I have a somewhat more accepting attitude. It helped that I immerse myself in the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, who make the idea of dying sound like jolly good fun.

In a nutshell, we are only partly here in physical form. The larger part of us, our expanded being, if you like, remains part of 'all that is'. When we die, the physical consciousness that is us, here, simply rejoins the non-physical part. And has a party. That's my handle on death - feel free to make up your own.

Actually, it doesn't matter much what happens after we die, what is important is to live our lives to the full without ever being scared of dying. It's just the next new adventure!

Photo courtesy of E3000, under the Creative Commons Licence.

* The really frightening thing about middle age is knowing you'll grow out of it. - Doris Day

* The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain. - Chinese proverb

* One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a nice change from being young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

* The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. - Anne Bancroft

* Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. - Joan Rivers

* One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything. - Oscar Wilde

* Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Billie Burke

* The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* There will come a point in your life when the wearing of slacks will start to appeal much more. Embrace the moment and incorporate the philosophy implicit in the name of the garment into your lifestyle. 'Slacks' derives from 'slack', a word meaning 'not tight, taut, tense, or busy'. What a great way to live. - Rohann Candappa