Growing Your Gratitude

Gratitude is actually hard to define.

Here are some attempts:

1. "[Gratitude is] the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful" (www.dictionary.com).


2. "Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive" (Wikipedia).


3. "Gratefulness is responding to life in all its fullness" (www.gratefulness.org).

I love that last one because I think it gets more to the heart of what gratitude actually is.

These definitions show that gratitude is about being thankful.

It's about being appreciative.

It has to do with your thoughts and emotions and attitudes.

And it has to do with your responses to life - - your actions.

But, for me, these things don't really get at what gratitude really is. That's why I say that gratitude is hard to define.

It's more than this.

It's a "beingness" - - something that is within you and flows out from the core of you.

It's a mindset - - a way of perceiving things that you choose to frame your life with.

It's an acceptance of things and an understanding that there's a purpose in all things . . . a lesson in all things. This implies that there's no resistance. No focus on what's missing. No focus on how much stuff sucks.

It's a choice. It's choosing to look at everything for what it has to teach. It's choosing to be thankful for it all. And it's choosing to move forward, making your life all that you want it to be.

Check out the ToDo Institute for an interesting perspective on gratitude.

So, how can you develop gratitude?

How can you cultivate it so that it grows and grows and becomes that beingness I mentioned that fills every part of you, becomes your core, and flows into all of your life?

There are a some really effective ways.

Read on to find out 5 great ways . . .

Do you keep a gratitude journal?

If you do, what's your experience?

I write in my gratitude journal every night before I go to bed. If I happen to miss it for some reason, I do it the next morning for that previous day.

I just record the things that I'm grateful for that day.

When I started, my mind wasn't really used to thinking about what I was grateful for, so I specifically made myself write 5 things every day. Once it became a habit for me, I stretched myself and started writing 10 things a day. And then I just started writing however many things I was grateful for, whether it was 1 or 20.

And that's one of the benefits I've had from doing my gratitude journal - - seeing more and more that I'm grateful for.

It's really true that what you focus on increases in your life.

If you think about the stuff you don't want in your life, or the stuff that's missing, that's what fills your mind. It becomes your focus. Your whole attitude becomes negative and full of lack. And it comes out into your life - - into your body language, your words, your health, even. It keeps you in victim land, as I call it. It's kind of all about the crap that happens to you, rather than what you're creating your life to be . . . rather than creating your life to be what you want.

But when you start to see things through the perspective of being grateful, then that's what increases. First of all, you see that there's more good in your life. Secondly, you become grateful even for the tough stuff. And third, you create more positive things in your life. That's what fills your mind. That's what characterizes your attitude. And that's what flows out into your words and actions and health.

Related to this is another benefit that I've experienced - - getting myself focused every day on something I'm grateful for, even if I've had a not-so-great day.

And a third benefit I've experienced is that I can go back and read what I've written if I'm having a tough day. It sometimes surprises me what I wrote, or reminds me of that thing I was grateful for. And it brings me into a positive state. I can usually see the tough day through new eyes - - I can reframe how I choose to see it and respond to it. I can see the lesson in it all instead of being all negative about it.

If you keep a gratitude journal, share your experiences at the bottom of the page. I'd love to hear them.

If you don't yet keep a gratitude journal, it's a great thing to start.

You might wonder what you'd write. I just found this lens (it's the lens of the day today, October 26, 2009) that might help.

You can write anything, even if you don't think there is anything you're grateful for:

• the warmth of the sun


• air to breathe


• life


• getting out of bed in the morning


• food

Maybe you're grateful for:

• a hug from someone


• learning


• laughter


• health


• relationships


• conversations


• a time of relaxation


• helping someone


• getting help from someone


• challenges

Just get started and the things will start to flow.

Photo Credit: Markus Rodder on Flickr.

"Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary" (Margaret Cousins).

How often do you think about, or feel, something you're grateful for . . . but you just keep it to yourself?

How often do you think of a person in your life who you're grateful for . . . but you keep it silent?

If you're like me, probably lots.

But gratitude grows when it's expressed.

Not only does it grow within yourself because you're focusing on gratitude.

It also grows in others and out there in the world.

There's a ripple effect when gratitude is expressed and it causes it to spread out from that initial expression of thankfulness - - like when you throw a rock into a body of water and the ripples move out further and further from the center.

Doesn't that sound awesome?

Can you imagine the effect if you touch one person with an expression of gratitude . . . and they touch one person . . . and they touch one person . . . and on and on?

Check my Random Acts of Kindness lens to do more.

Photo Credit: Photo from iStockphoto (I purchased a license).

There's been a lot of talk about gratitude rocks since The Secret came out (movie and book) but it's not The Secret that's important. It's the concept of gratitude rocks.

The point is that having something tangible like a rock can help to focus you on what you're grateful for.

Some people use rocks.

Some people use coins.

Other people use other items that are meaningful to them.

Keep it somewhere that you'll encounter it several times a day, like in your pocket or purse.

Whenever you touch it, you'll be reminded to think of something you're grateful for and it can help to increase that focus in your life.

Photo Credit: chiroty on Photobucket.

Quotes are like road signs.

They give you directions for your journey and provide inspiration along the way.

Sometimes people's wisdom or teachings or thoughts are written in a short, sharp, memorable manner, or they are extremely profound, and they're repeated by others and for others.

Quotes serve as:

• reminders


• guides


• teachers


• inspirations


• and motivators

They add:

• spark


• direction


• and emotion

They help you on your way by reminding you of something, by keeping you focused, by moving you in the direction that you want to go.

You can use them to help you by:

• writing them on sticky notes and posting them where you'll see them often


• writing them on paper and posting them on a bulletin board


• using magnets and posting them on your fridge


• recording them and listening to them in the car or while exercising


• reading and pondering one a day


• putting them on your computer desktop or screensaver


• writing them, or writing about them, in your journal


• including them in your e-mail signature for others to see


• doing what they suggest


• recording them on your answering machine to inspire others


• finding writings by the author to learn more


• putting one on the visor of your car and reading it when you use the visor (but not while you're driving!)


• making labels or bumper stickers on your computer using quotes as the text and posting them on your vehicle . . . or wherever


• posting a quote on the ceiling above your bed so it's the first thing you see when you wake up


• posting quotes on your bathroom mirror

Or get creative with your own skills and ideas!

Here are some gratitude quotes you can use:

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.

Cicero

Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude.
Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness.
Thankfulness may consist merely of words.
Gratitude is shown in acts.

David O. McKay

If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.

Rabbi Harold Kushner

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.

Epictetus

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning to dance in the rain!

Unknown

When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present ... we experience heaven on earth.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

William Arthur Ward

Photo Credit: Photo from iStockphoto (I purchased a license).