Top 10 Crimes against the English Language
I'm indulging myself in a rant! Is English losing its versatility? Some blame the modern 'evils' of mobile telephone text messages and emails. Some blame the teaching of English in schools. I tend to blame apathy, which I believe to be a modern growing evil. This is a plea for observation of meaningful linguistic principles.
Nobody wants to freeze a language or set it in stone, least of all do that to our wonderful English language. Nonetheless, does anyone share my anxiety about the way we are going? Every day, even on the UK's vaunted BBC, we hear grammar being murdered, sentences being constructed in such a way that their meaning becomes anything but that which the speaker wants to convey, tenses going out of the window and figures of speech or metaphors being mixed such as to render them meaningless. In written English, whether in a letter or published work, punctuation can be massacred, accepted norms of sentence and paragraph construction are not respected and word order is often such as to endanger clarity of meaning.
Please don't get me wrong here - I am not against change and evolution in a living language. How else would a language continue to live? Modern English has come to us with a great many additions and modifications en route (that's from French by the way!). I am against the loss of versatility and utility that comes from some of my examples and, rest assured, there are others. Change should be for the better, not for the worse. We desperately need a resurgence of meaningful and utilitarian English!
Here is my list of the Top 10 infringements, with a few bonuses! They're not ranked in order of importance or prevalence.
This lens was once chosen as Lens of the Day:
Nobody wants to freeze a language or set it in stone, least of all do that to our wonderful English language. Nonetheless, does anyone share my anxiety about the way we are going? Every day, even on the UK's vaunted BBC, we hear grammar being murdered, sentences being constructed in such a way that their meaning becomes anything but that which the speaker wants to convey, tenses going out of the window and figures of speech or metaphors being mixed such as to render them meaningless. In written English, whether in a letter or published work, punctuation can be massacred, accepted norms of sentence and paragraph construction are not respected and word order is often such as to endanger clarity of meaning.
Please don't get me wrong here - I am not against change and evolution in a living language. How else would a language continue to live? Modern English has come to us with a great many additions and modifications en route (that's from French by the way!). I am against the loss of versatility and utility that comes from some of my examples and, rest assured, there are others. Change should be for the better, not for the worse. We desperately need a resurgence of meaningful and utilitarian English!
Here is my list of the Top 10 infringements, with a few bonuses! They're not ranked in order of importance or prevalence.
This lens was once chosen as Lens of the Day:
1. The Apostrophe
A much-misused tool
If more than one person or subject possesses the object, we put the apostrophe after the plural form. For instance, if a number of cats use a bed, we should refer to "the cats' bed". If a person's name ends with 's', this can cause more confusion. The correct form is still quite simple: if Chris owns a tie, it's Chris's tie.
The real nightmare comes with 'its' and 'it's'. This is a more understandable error but the correct form is not that difficult to remember. Because we cannot (can't) write the shortened form of 'it is' in any other way than 'it's', we cannot use the usual possessive apostrophe for the possessive form. A bird therefore can preen its feathers, it cannot preen it's feathers. It's simple!
2. I and me
Identity crisis
I have a real problem when folk appear to be unable to use the correct pronoun when talking or writing about themselves. When should we use 'I' or 'Me'? The most common confusion occurs when someone is talking about himself (or herself) and someone else. We commonly hear "Robert and me went walking". What is even worse is to put self first: "Me and Robert went walking". We may also hear "Is there enough room for you and I?".
How can we remember to use the correct pronoun form for each and every occasion? Again, it can be quite simple. If the pronoun is to be the subject (or part of the subject) of a sentence, use 'I'. If, on the other hand, the pronoun is to be the object of the sentence or phrase (or part of the object), use 'Me'.
Another relatively simple way to find the correct solution is to take the other person out of the sentence. Thus, instead of saying "Robert and me went walking", we should mentally try "Me went walking". That sounds so horribly wrong that it would be almost impossible to use it! Thus, as we can say "I went walking", we should say "Robert and I went walking". Using the same formula for "Is there enough space for you and I?", we would mentally rehearse "Is there enough space for I?". That sounds wrong, so we then know to say "Is there enough space for you and me?".
3. Fewer or less?
Can you count them?
A general guide is that, if it can be counted, use 'fewer' and if it can be measured or weighed, use 'less'. The exception that proves the rule: Money can be counted but using 'less money' is correct (but 'fewer coins').
Correct: 'less money', 'less wine', less grass'.
Correct: 'fewer monkeys', 'fewer coins', 'fewer people'.
I would like to hear fewer mistakes of this sort and I would be less irritated!
4. Is it plural or are they singular?
Multiple or single?
How often do we hear the 'committee are . . .', 'Parliament will vote on the issue, won't they?' or the 'company are being sued"?. All these phrases within inverted commas are incorrectly formulated.
Parliament is singular, committee is singular and company is singular. On the other hand, those (people) who sit on the board, sit in Parliament or sit on a committee are plural.
5. There, there!
I need sympathy
There: position
Their: possessive form of they
They're: abbreviated form of they are.
While we're at it, what about 'your' and 'you're'? Dare I confuse that by adding 'yore'? (yes, that is a real word).
6. Some spelling traps
Lose the plot and the meaning becomes loose
7. Different from, different to or different than?
They're the same only different
Am I different from everyone else in allowing different than to grate on my sense and set my teeth a-judder, in a similar way to that in which rubbing a dry duster on a blackboard can put one's teeth on edge? We couldn't say similar than now, could we?
Similar to . . .
Different from . . .
8. Word order and other gripes
This article needs writing badly . . . .
I heard it being said on the radio, just a few weeks ago, that a new service would be established ". . . to decide if an ambulance needs to be sent . . ". What? How can an ambulance 'need' much more than a driver, fuel and regular servicing? Shouldn't that newsreader have said ". . . to decide whether an ambulance is needed . . " or ". . . to decide whether it is necessary to send an ambulance . . " or ". . . to decide whether an ambulance should be sent . . "?
Oh well.
9. Should we learn Latin?
Whether to use i.e. or e.g. for example, that is difficult
Because we do not give importance to Latin, we often say things wrongly, with the result that our meaning becomes less precise. We say 'strata' when we mean 'stratum'. We wrongly say 'data' in a singular sense, often not realising that it is the plural of 'datum'. We often hear 'phenomena' when we should hear 'phenomenon' (that's Greek, anyway, but the point is still valid!).
Likewise, we should have a bacterium and many bacteria or a fungus and many fungi.
For another example, the abbreviation 'i.e.' stands for 'id est' (i.e. it means 'that is').This is commonly but wrongly confused, for example, with 'e.g.', which stands for 'exempli gratia'. Fascinating isn't it? Probably not, but we shouldn't misuse these very useful items.
12th January 2011: Lensmaster 'asiliveandbreathe' has asked why do people abbreviate the Latin phrase 'et cetera' to ECT? We all (?) know that it should be 'etc.' but perhaps lack of good teaching and later life apathy means that those who write it wrongly just don't bother to explore its origins. As for people writing 'etc. etc.' - what on Earth is that supposed to mean?
In the run-up to the London Olympics, we are building lots of stadia (N.B.: not stadiums).
Either we should learn to use the correct form or we should stick to English and not use words that are direct imports from the classics.
10. OMG
This is TERRIBLE!
Our language was good enough before these horrors came along! Oh well, I did call this lens 'Grumpy Grammar' and maybe I'm just being grumpy about these.
Postscript: Reading the comment made by '_Joan_' in the "Where do you stand?" module below, I feel like softening a bit on this item. I'll relent a little and say that they're 'OK' in the context of emails and texts and even on social networks but, please preserve us, not in documents, articles or books. However, others may disagree . . . . . . .
11. I had to add another . . .
"I ain't got no oranges" - what does that mean?
The Rolling Stones give a glaring example: "I can't get no satisfaction"!
Did no one tell them that two negatives make a positive? Perhaps I should have said "Didn't no one tell them . . ?"
Here's a few more . . .
just to show that this subject is BIG
2. Then we receive letters opening with the line: "As a valued customer, I write to you . . ". No! The writer means (I think), either "As a valued customer, you . . ." or "In my capacity as manager, I write to you . . .".
3. The words 'but', 'and' and 'or' should never start either a sentence or a paragraph. They are 'conjunctions', which means they 'join' parts of a sentence.
4. The 'comma' should be used to offer a meaningful pause in a sentence. It is NOT needed immediately before or after any of the above three words, since they also offer a pause (unless, of course, one wishes to emphasise the pause).
I have to accept, out of respect for natives of other countries, that the 'irritable vowel syndrome' that affects some variants of English and the liberties taken with the mother tongue by some who live west of the Statue of Liberty are here to stay. I confine my remarks to UK English.
By the way, what's the difference between 'slowing up' and 'slowing down'? Shouldn't they be opposites?
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There is a move towards English not being important for examinations. Imagine! We are likely to end up with a generation, including professionals like doctors, lawyers and even teachers, who cannot speak English!
Where do you stand?
Are you a 'Grumpy' or not?
Are you OK with all this stuff or does it drive you mad?
Grumpy
allenwebstarme says:
I do agree with you, whatever you said is included in English language standards which has to be followed. Honestly I'm still learning better English.
artyfax says:
I am on your side, I am a capricorn and believe that rules are made to be followed
TheLittleCardShop says:
I totally agree with you and how about the missuse of too, to, two?
CherylK says:
I'm definitely OK with this!
pixiepot says:
It depends really, I hate it, especially with online blogs/ e-books, when people don't write properly in something that should come across as professional
For example:
'Ikr! So wuu2 R u k' should really be: 'I know right. So, what are you up to? Are you okay?'
It's just me being picky, I'm probably guilty of it occasionally too! ^^;
Non-Grumpy
karmicchristian says:
I guess it is okay. English is my 'first' and 'only' second language. So pardon me once in a while. :)
DaveHiggsVis says:
People who can't use language don't bother me. They're free to communicate how they choose.
cdevries says:
I'd rather see playful improvisation with language and grammar than strict rules - right up until I see a there / their / they're mistake and then I grumpily demand that heads roll!
jamespete says:
Nice column! I wonder how you feel about the color of the text, its font, whether it moves, whether it's linked to music, a video or a photo. I see a new etiquette and many neologisms on the move.
Margo_Arrowsmith says:
I am grumpy about what bothers me and others are fine. ;-D
Yes or no?
(or is that yes or know?)
Let's have your vote:
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That's it for now
Floored or flawed?
The English language was once arguably the most versatile language on our planet. I doubt it is now or, at least, I don't expect it to keep that position for long, if current trends were to continue. I do not like the concept of rigid 'rules', in almost any walk of life (rules can be meaningless and arbitrary and can stand in the way of progress) but I do believe in observing linguistic principles that serve clarity and versatility in communication. English is our Mother Tongue
Natives please strive to speak and to write good English as the best defence against the erosion of our linguistic versatility and utility.
Purple Star!
11th January 2011
I jumped out of my skin when I saw that I had received a Purple Star Trophy for this lens (my second!). All I can say is THANKS!The lenses I have published have given me great fun and have mostly been designed to give information, fun and hope to readers. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect this accolade. Thanks to whoever proposed it and to whoever made the decision to award it.
I confess to some hurried titivation and correction of a few 'typos', in the Purple Star's honour!
Lens of the Day 25th January 2011 - THANKS!
I've let the LOTD pass me by, assuming that having a lens featured there would be quite beyond me. Imagine my total surprise at finding on the 26th that this lens had been LOTD the day before!
One aspect of this has been the oh-so-many warm messages that I have received from fellow squidders. This has been truly amazing and I want to thank you all, here, with this message. Squidoo is great and it is made great by all of you! Thank you all for coming by and leaving me a friendly message.
Thanks!
Thanks to those responsible (I don't know who they are but I'd like to) for proposing this lens for its Purple Star and for its Lens of the Day. You're lovely people, whoever you are!
This lens was an official Lens of the Day selection!
This lens was an official Lens of the Day selection!
200 Likes
A personal landmark for me, this lens reached 200 'likes' from fellow squidders on 5th February 2011. Thanks to all of you for your great support! You know who you are.
Summary
Getting some of this stuff off my chest is meant to be with a grin or wry smile and in good spirit, not with any aggression or judgement towards any person who commits any of these felonies just to annoy me!I would like to reaffirm that this rant is directed at 'native' English speakers, not at those who make the most creditworthy efforts to write and speak English when it is not their 'mother tongue'. When abroad, I always try to speak some of the country's language, no doubt causing great pain to the natives, who are always warm, helpful and encouraging! I would not wish to be otherwise. We should also remember that those who bravely speak and write in a language other than their own rely heavily on native speakers for guidance. When we make these blunders, we make it very difficult for them.
Is it irony that this lens was made 'Lens of the Day' on 25th January 2011 (Burns Night/Burns Nicht))? The language of Mr Burns is - well - interesting! His works are of undoubted literary capability but, of course, are intentionally written in the Scots language of the day (rather than English) and can be a bit obscure to those who have not studied that language. They should, of course, be judged accordingly, not according to any supposed rules of English.
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The author of this lens is a holistic vet, operating independently of commercial interest or sponsorship and cannot endorse any products or advertising material attached to this lens.
For more information on holistic treatment of animals, visit: http://www.alternativevet.org/
Chris Day - holistic vet and amateur rockologist and with an interest in most things - runs the Alternative Veterinary Medicine Centre (AVMC) in Oxfordshire, UK.
Joke
I nicked this off Jack2205's excellent 'Classic Jokes' lens
A little boy said to his teacher, "I ain't got no pencil."She corrected him at once, "It's I don't have a pencil. You don't have a pencil. We don't have any pencils. They don't have any pencils. Is that clear?"
"No", said the bewildered child. "What happened to all them pencils?"
Thanks Jack!
Jack2205's Classic Joke lens:
If you liked it, please give it a thumbs-up
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Did you like the rant?
Let us know your comments
Do errors grate on your senses? Do you have more examples? Do you think it doesn't matter?
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A-Redneck
Jun 11, 2011 @ 9:59 am | delete
- I absolutely love your images. Sooo cute. Your commentary is pretty good too though...just kidding. It's great. Now if you could only help me out with my then and than problem...I just cannot get those two meaings to stick in my brain.
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ChrisDay
Jun 12, 2011 @ 12:14 am | delete
- Ahah - I'd suggest, if you're not kidding me with this question, that you are giving yourself a mental block by saying you can't do it. If you associate the rhyming word 'when' with 'then' in your mind, it ought to unravel it a bit in most circumstances. 'Then' is to do with time or consequence and 'than' is to do with comparisons. It may console you to know that, once long ago, they were apparently the same word!
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ChrisDay
Jun 15, 2011 @ 12:06 am | delete
- My previous response to this seems to have disappeared in the interim. I hope you're exercises are going well! Thanks for the support and for the encouraging comment.
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TeamSTM
Jun 9, 2011 @ 5:17 pm | delete
- If anything this Lens prove that "We" all have our moments when are just having a bad day! This is a unique way to poke fun at it if you will! :)
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ChrisDay
Jun 10, 2011 @ 12:14 am | delete
- Thanks for your visit and nice to 'meet' you.
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by ChrisDay
All My Lenses: http://www.squidoo.com/chrisdays-lensography.
I am also now on Amplify.com: http://chrisday.amplify.com/
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