How Guinea Pigs Rule the World

Guinea Pigs Rule the World Tote Bag

This cool bag is great for carrying yummy hay, treats, or even human stuff like books and CDs. Or POOP! (Yes, that's right, Ichi.) It even serves as a pretty cool tent. You can find it and more good stuff over at Gesshoku.org.

#1: Camouflage is everything. Wear the house. Wear the blanket. The secret to stealth is invisibility.

#2: Always bite the hand that tries to brush, trim, clip, or otherwise manipulate you against your will. The ninja never gives in.

#3: If you fall victim to a sudden embarrassment, such as losing your footing and flailing around in the hay or food dish, use the secret ninja technique of pretending like you meant to do it. No one will question this.

#4: Stockpile food, poop, and hay in your secret ninja hideout. You never know when you might need to hide out for a few hours. For this purpose, confiscating treats from more clueless littermates is considered acceptable.

#5: Sleep in the litter box or the filthiest place available. No real reason for this, it's just fun.

#6: Stay cool at all costs. Train your littermates to beg for food for you. And even in the most dire of situations, a Guinea Pig Ninja will never be found wheeting like his butt is on fire.

#7: Become the master of the Guinea Pig Kung Fu Technique. This requires many days of diligent practice, laps around the cage (best accomplished when high on hay), high leaps, and using your littermates as practice hurdles. Only when you let go of your inner pig can you achieve the level of a true Guinea Pig Ninja.

Guinea Pig Ninja T-shirt

Guinea Pig Love T-shirt
Two guinea pigs touch nose to nose with a red heart between them in our simple, "kid-print" design on a white shirt.

Guinea Pigs Rule the World T-shirt
Show your support for the guinea pig revolution with our "Guinea Pigs Rule the World" t-shirt.

Guinea Pig Ninja Tote Bag
Beware the guinea pig, who knows kung fu! Our unique and amusing t-shirt features a guinea pig in the middle of his secret special ninja attack technique as he practices to take over the world.

Piggy Train T-shirt
Four little pigs in a line follow each other around on this adorable t-shirt.

Guinea Pig Yin Yang T-shirt
Two adorable guinea pigs sleep together in perfect harmony, curled into the shape of a yin yang.

For the freshest-smelling timothy hay and apple treats, you can always trust Farmer Dave. You get a whole one-pound bag for a good price. (sometimes even some bonus clover!) Just the scent makes us feel energetic and sexy!