How To Stop People Taking Advantage of You

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Exploring the science of Social Influence and human gullibility

Imagine...never being duped again!


This lens takes a look at how we sort out the truth from from fiction and the ways other people try to do it for us! How exactly do people take advantage of us when most of the time we are pretty smart and graduates of the university of life?

As you know people can take advantage of us in a variety of situations. It is the dark side of our naturally co-operative instinct. When we co-operate or share we place our trust in others and anticipate that this will be reciprocated. People who abuse this trust or deliberately take advantage of our vulnerability or dependency take advantage of us.

This happens in one to one relationships, the workplace, the school yard, and even in society and invariably involves a combination the abuse of power, the deployment of deceit, and betrayal of trust

So, cheaters, con artists, bullies, betrayers, and traitors are all in the business of taking advantage of us in some form or other. They are self serving individuals who have little care for the feelings and consequences of their actions for others. Psychologically they tend towards socio-pathic behaviour and show narcissistic character traits. Ultimately people who take you for a fool, who try to dupe you, who deliberately try and deceive you are what Eric Fromm would call 'life thwarters'. The opposite of 'life enhancers'

When people take advantage of us they rely on us devoting our thoughts to the people involved, "what did I do wrong", "how could they do that to me", "what makes me so gullible". You might like to know that there is no such thing as a gullibility gene so you can let your yourself off the hook. Psychologists call this a Fundamental Attribution Error, where we blame the person more than we blame the situation. People who take advantage of us are highly skilled at manipulating the situation we are in in order that we operate on false assumptions. So, one of the best ways of avoiding being taken advantage of is to critically look at the situation you are in and how that can be set up so that you are more easily duped, conned, or betrayed. Control the situation and you control the person.

When you get time you might also like to visit:

http://gullibility.blogspot.com
Pick up your free ebook too:
Is That The Truth?

Knowing a great deal is not the same as being smart - Dr. Carl Sagan 

Travels into Several Remote Notions

So, where does an interest in how to stop people taking advantage of you come from?

Well, the idea orginated when a buddy of mine and I were thinking back over our expriences at home and the workplace. We were having a laugh at ourselves over those occaisions where we'd really been taken for fools and how we had learned from the experience.

We had, what we thought was a spark of inspiration to write a book called Gullibles Travels (after Gullivers Travels of course) only to find that others had beaten us to it. To read the full story go to Gullibility - Travels into Several Remote Notions

The Gullibility blog is a collection of stories, ideas, and resources about how to avoid people taking advantage of you by recognising the beliefs we take for granted, and how our assumptions about things can lead us into trouble. Ranging from a sceptical look at news stories through to full on philosophical introductions to critical thinking, critical theory and the ways of knowing what we know the exploration of how to stop people taking advantage of me, aims to show how you can being being taken advantage of by others.

The idea behind this lens and the gullibility blog is that we are all in a state of change, and that sometimes difficult experiences, challenges to cherished ideas, and looking at things through new 'lenses' are part of the way we can stop being taken advantage of.

As a result we are exploring what might be called 'several remote notions'; ideas that are slightly off the beaten track and a bit deeper than your usual 'celebophile' gossip column. 'Several remote notions' is an idea we are rather chuffed about as the proper title to Gulliver's Travels is... Travels into Several Remote Nations.

We hope to point you to some interesting stuff, and if you have eaten a beating moles heart - you'll know all of this anyway... if Pliny was right that is. Now if you believe that you'll believe anything!

Annals of Gullibility: Why We Get Duped and How to Avoid it 



Have you ever thought, now that's a book I should have written? Well, congratulations to Stephen Greenspan, who has scored a direct hit with this book.
Annals Of Gullibility



Amazon introduce the book as: an unprecedented examination of gullibility, how we develop this tendency to be duped, and what we can do to become less apt to be fooled. The first book to provide a comprehensive look at the problem of gullibility, this groundbreaking work covers topics from how we are fooled in areas from religion, politics, science, and medicine, to personal finance and relationships.

Critical Theory 

What philosophers think about how to stop people using you.

Critical Theory is a Philosophical basis for critical thinking. Many of its creators talk about how big business and big media dupe us into thinking that we need things that we don't really have to buy.

: For a topical guide to this subject, see Outline of critical theory.

In the humanities and social sciences, critical theory is the examination and critique of society and literature, drawing from knowledge across social sciences and humanities disciplines. The term has two quite different meanings with different origins and histories, one originating in social theory and the other in literary criticism. Though until recently these two meanings had little to do with each other, since the 1970s there has been some overlap between these disciplines. This has led to "critical theory" becoming an umbrella term for an array of theories in English-speaking academia. This article focuses primarily on the differences and similarities between the two senses of the term critical theory.

Jurgen Habermas 

Jürgen Habermas (; born June 18, 1929) is a German philosopher and sociologist in the tradition of critical theory and American pragmatism. He is perhaps best known for his work on the concept of the public sphere, the topic (and title) of his first book. His work focused on the foundations of social theory and epistemology, the analysis of advanced capitalistic societies and democracy, the rule of law in a critical social-evolutionary context, and contemporary politics?particularly German politics. Habermas's theoretical system is devoted to revealing the possibility of reason, emancipation, and rational-critical communication latent in modern institutions and in the human capacity to deliberate and pursue rational interests.

Herbert Marcuse 

Herbert Marcuse (July 19, 1898 - July 29, 1979) was a German-Jewish philosopher, political theorist and sociologist, and a member of the Frankfurt School. His best known works are Eros and Civilization, One-Dimensional Man and The Aesthetic Dimension.

Max Horkheimer 

Max Horkheimer (February 14, 1895 - July 7, 1973) was a German philosopher and sociologist, and a founding member of the Frankfurt School).

Social Psychology 

All about what makes people tick

This is the subject that you really need to study if you want to understand how people can take you for granted. It studies the ways in which people interact and how they use people to get their own way.

'Social psychology is the scientific study of how peoples thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are influenced by the actual, imagined, or implied presence of others.Allport, G. W. (1985). The historical background of social psychology. In G. Lindzey & E. Aronson (Eds.), The handbook of social psychology. New York: McGraw Hill. By this definition, scientific refers to the empirical method of investigation. The terms thoughts, feelings, and behaviors include all of the psychological variables that are measurable in a human being. The statement that others may be imagined or implied suggests that we are prone to social influence even when no other people are present, such as when watching television, or following internalized cultural norms.

Social psychologists typically explain human behavior as a result of the interaction of mental states and immediate social situations. In Kurt Lewin's famous heuristic formula, behavior can be viewed as a function of the person and the environment, B=f(P,E).Lewin, K. (1951). Field theory in social science: Selected theoretical papers. D. Cartwright (Ed.). New York: Harper & Row. In general, social psychologists have a preference for laboratory based, empirical findings. Their theories tend to be specific and focused, rather than global and general.

Social psychology is an interdisciplinary domain that bridges the gap between psychology and sociology. During the years immediately following World War II, there was frequent collaboration between psychologists and sociologists.Sewell, W. H. (1989). Some reflections on the golden age of interdisciplinary social psychology. Annual Review of Sociology. Vol. 15. However, the two disciplines have become increasingly specialized and isolated from each other in recent years, with sociologists focusing on "macro variables" (e.g. social structure) to a much greater extent. Nevertheless, sociological approaches to social psychology remain an important counterpart to psychological research in this area.

In addition to the split between psychology and sociology, there has been a somewhat less pronounced difference in emphasis between American social psychologists and European social psychologists. As a broad generalization, American researchers traditionally have focused more on the individual, whereas Europeans have paid more attention to group level phenomena.Moscovici, S. & Markova, I. (2006). The making of modern social psychology. Cambridge, UK: Polity Press. See Group dynamics.

Forer Effect 

You might think that there is a sucker born every minute. Forer or Barnum statements are the stuff of cold readers. Broad generalisations that an uncritical person believes to be a precise statement about themselves.

The Forer effect (also called personal validation fallacy or the Barnum Effect after P. T. Barnum's observation that "we've got something for everyone") is the observation that individuals will give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that supposedly are tailored specifically for them, but are in fact vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people. The Forer effect can provide a partial explanation for the widespread acceptance of some beliefs and practices, such as astrology, fortune telling, and some types of personality tests.

A related and more generic phenomenon effect is that of subjective validation. Subjective validation occurs when two unrelated or even random events are perceived to be related because a belief, expectancy, or hypothesis demands a relationship. Thus people seek a correspondence between their perception of their personality and the contents of a horoscope.

Reasonable Robinson's Amazon Plexo 

...for the avoidance of gullibility

spring-boards for developing critical thinking

Steps to an Ecology of Mind: Collected Essays in Anthropology, Psychiatry, Evolution, and Epistemology by Gregory Bateson

Steps to an Ecology of Mind: Collected Essays in Anthropology, Psychiatry, Evolution, and Epistemology by Gregory Bateson

Seminal work that introduces the pattern that conn more...0 points

Gullibility 

Information for a 'duped' free life

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Don't Be Stupid 

Counterfeit Humans
How to Maintain Sanity over Everyday Stupidity
15 Minute Lunch
If you left it up to me, every day would be a holiday from real.

Gullible Videos 


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Chaser's War on Everything -- Free Gullibility Test

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Gullibility Blog Posts 

Tracking Gullibility, Psychology and Social Infuence
Christine's Chatter: 20p mule, eBay, gullibility, greed
20p mule, eBay, gullibility, greed. My partner sent me a text the other day suggesting that I look through my coins to see if I had a twenty pence coin that was undated. His newspaper was running an article on a "mule" 20p coin which ...
Marketers count on gullibility so you will spam for them ...
I couldn't agree more but there's a couple of things that these marketers, or companies, are doing which is worse than just counting own our gullibility in order to promote their products. After all, as Sarah points out, who wouldn't ...
Statistical Accuracy and the Gullibility Gene
SC Magazine in the UK picked up on our Global Threat Report for June, based on statistics that derive from our ThreatSense.Net® threat-monitoring technology. Thanks, Dan: when you do as much writing as I do, it's comforting to know that ...
Putrid salute to gullibility
Today I received - not for the first time - a message from "Continental Who's Who". It was a bit like the one I keep getting from someone who tells me I can belong to something vaguely, but not really, associated with Princeton ...

Con Tricks 

Confidence tricks are difficult to classify, because they keep changing and often contain elements of more than one type. This list should not be considered complete, but covers the most well-known confidence tricks. Throughout this list, the perpetrator of the confidence trick is frequently called a "con artist" or simply "artist", and the intended victim called a "mark".

Con Tricks 

Con Tricks
There is, according to legend, a sucker born every day, and of course there are many confidence tricksters around who are all too ready to relieve them of their wealth.

Two main levers of confidence tricksters are gullibility and greed. They will exploit the incautious and naive and offer something for nothing as an appeal to our natural desires.
Real Safety Guides - Beating Identity Theft, Con Artists&Credit Fraud
Safety Guides / Beating Identity Theft, Con Artists & Credit
Fraud
matches swindle bar trick
The Webs largest collection of FREE bar tricks, Magic, Pranks and more!
Confidence tricks
Confidence tricks deceive people out of their wealth through various forms of deception.

Con Tricks and Lies 

The Con Artist Handbook

Amazon Price: (as of 07/11/2009) Buy Now

How to Become a Professional Con Artist

Amazon Price: $13.60 (as of 07/11/2009) Buy Now

The Truth About Lying

Amazon Price: $12.21 (as of 07/11/2009) Buy Now

Victor Lustig 

The most accomplished 'con artist' of all time.

Victor Lustig (January 4, 1890 - March 11, 1947) was a Czech con artist who undertook scams in various countries and became best known as "the man who sold the Eiffel Tower. Twice.".

Hoaxes 

A hoax is a deliberate attempt to deceive or trick an audience into believing, or accepting, that something is real, when the hoaxster knows it is not; or that something is true, when it is false. In an instance of a hoax, an object, or event, is not what it appears to be, or what it is claimed to be - for example, "snake oil," which was sold by 19th century traveling salesman in the United States as a cure-all. A hoax differs from a magic show in that the audience is unaware of being deceived - whereas in watching a magician perform a magical act, the audience expects to be tricked.

It is possible to perpetrate a hoax by making only true statements using unfamiliar wording or context (see Dihydrogen monoxide hoax). Unlike a fraud or con (which is usually aimed at a single victim and are made for illicit financial or material gain), a hoax is often perpetrated as a practical joke, to cause embarrassment, or to provoke social change by making people aware of something. Many hoaxes are motivated by a desire to satirize or educate by exposing the credulity of the public and the media or the absurdity of the target. For instance, the hoaxes of James Randi poke fun at believers in the paranormal and alternative medicine. The many hoaxes of Alan Abel and Joey Skaggs satirize people's willingness to believe the media. Political hoaxes are sometimes motivated by the desire to ridicule or besmirch opposing politicians or political institutions, often before elections. Journalistic scandals overlap with hoaxes to some extent.

Some governments have been known to perpetrate hoaxes to assist them with unpopular aims such as going to war (e.g., the Ems Telegram, or the Dodgy Dossier). In fact, there is often a mixture of outright hoax, and suppression and management of information to give the desired impression. In wartime, rumours abound; some may be deliberate hoaxes.

The word hoax is said to have come from the common magic incantation hocus pocus. "Hocus pocus", in turn, is commonly believed to be a distortion of "hoc est corpus" ("this is the body") from the Latin Mass.

Hoax Stuff on Amazon 

The Museum of Hoaxes: The World's Greatest Hoaxes

Amazon Price: (as of 07/11/2009) Buy Now

Hippo Eats Dwarf: A Field Guide to Hoaxes and Other B.S.

Amazon Price: $11.90 (as of 07/11/2009) Buy Now

Hoaxes, Myths, and Manias: Why We Need Critical Thinking

Amazon Price: $19.78 (as of 07/11/2009) Buy Now

Bullying 

Stand against bullying
David Shepherd and Travis Price take a pink stand against bullying
Beat crime, anti-social behaviour, bullying, abuse and mobbing with emotional intelligence (EQ)
Bullying, mobbing and emotional intelligence.
Beat crime, anti-social behaviour, bullying, abuse and mobbing with emotional intelligence (EQ)
Bullying, mobbing and emotional intelligence.
Bullying
A diverse range of Resources to help analyze and address bosses' bullying behaviors.
kickbully.com: How to fight a workplace bully
Practical guide to fighting workplace bullying and the office bully

Liar Liar 

Tells


Liars depend on our gulliblity. They want us to assume that what they say is truthful by accepting their version of things uncritically. They trade on the fact that most people find it socially uncomfortable to challenge some body elses claims because it generates the implied reaction 'how dare you disbelieve what I tell you'

Liars are skilled at constructing alternative versions of events. They become so skilled that they 'enter into the deception' almost becoming convinced of their own fabrications. In this way they defend themselves by appearing authentic.

Probing questions are the key to unlocking the liar. Inconsistencies can be identified in the 'facts' and chronology. Creating space to listen to what the liar has to say rather than jumping in and challenging things is a good method too. Give them enough rope and they will hang themsleves as they say. The liar relies on cues to determine how effective their lies are. By reacting to each and every one of their statements we provide the liar with key information as to 'how well they are doing' and the extent and gaps in our knowledge. They then use this information to improve the deception.

To some extent we are all liars. Erving Goffman in his book The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life describes and explains how we all portray a 'front' a 'persona'. These personae are taken for granted in everyday social situations. They go unchallenged and because of this we are vulnerable to misrepresentation.

Always question the motive and reason people have for saying what they say. What's in it for them? Why are they reluctant to elborate on the things you ask and really keen to elaborate on the things they want you to believe. Are you being asked to take things on face value, place your faith in what they say or are you freely given facts and information in order that ou can judge for yourself. If the other person wants to control the meaning of things rather than you then chances are something is amiss. If you smell a rat then its probably there!


Liar Links
How To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You
How To Spot A Liar
How to Spot a Liar - Google Books sample chapters
Lies Lies Lies Paul Ekmans Facial Action Coding System

Book of Tells

Amazon Price: $16.47 (as of 07/11/2009)Buy Now

So what do you think? 

reasonablerobinson wrote...

in reply to XpectMorebizsolutions Thank you for visiting I'm delighted you are less prone to B.S. and excellent situation. People who read this might also find this link helpful Bullshit Deflectors

ReplyPosted April 22, 2009

XpectMorebizsolutions wrote...

This is a great lens with a different perspective on Gullible that I have ever heard.

I find that I am now less gullible. I have been taken advantage of to many times that I am finally catching on to the B. S. I got tired of it.

Kami
XpectMore

ReplyPosted April 22, 2009

infoking1 wrote...

diggyisking, I do believe is right. In school , starting around age 12, I used to pretend to believe everything I was told by a classmate. Soon, more and more would tell me taller and taller tales, And I would in turn, eat them up. They all thought I was oh so gullible. But all the while I couldn't understand how so many of them could be so eager to believe that it was I who was gullible. I still wonder if any of them figured out that I was hoodwinking them. Human Psychology
is fascinating.

ReplyPosted March 05, 2009

diggyisking wrote...

I think people are more prone to take advantage of you if they feel they can. So if you portray yourself as a fool or someone gullible with no strong standpoints, people will see you as a victim and pick on you. If they realise you are someone with strong standpoints, they will try less , but even then, you can just say no, and they will not be able to use you!

ReplyPosted January 09, 2009

reasonablerobinson wrote...

in reply to spirituality Ha ha - thanks for visiting and leaving a comment

ReplyPosted November 14, 2008

spirituality wrote...

Impressive lens with some great points. Unfortunately I don't think this will help me never get duped again...

ReplyPosted November 14, 2008

ronpass wrote...

What an original idea for a lens - I see you have visited the classic sources of critical theory (I'm an action researcher from way back!).
Ron Passfield
Squidoo Marketing

ReplyPosted November 23, 2007

aovpinay wrote...

5 stars for great content..

"If only I knew..."

Well, never again... make use of this lense and lead a 'duped' free life.

:)
Aweng

ReplyPosted November 04, 2007

reasonablerobinson wrote...

Imagine...never being duped again

ReplyPosted May 27, 2007

by reasonablerobinson

 

 

 

 

 

Imagine...never being duped again.

After a commercial career learning how to persuade people to part with their money, I'...

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