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How do you stop people taking advantage of you?

From the lens How To Stop People Taking Advantage of You.

Do you have a way to stop people taking advantage of you? If you do, why not share it here and help someone change their life.


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  • themeanviolets Apr 11, 2012 @ 11:02 pm | delete
    I stomp on their heads. No not really... I just throw grapes at them. No not really that either... I trust people alot, until I'm duped. I have 3 strike system... shame on you twice, and if it happens again...shame on me.
  • GeekGirl1 Apr 7, 2012 @ 8:49 pm | delete
    Always be cautious. Don't trust too much.
  • Mim_Art Mar 22, 2012 @ 9:57 am | delete
    Great lens! Hope you don't mind, I will be linking to it from my lens: Secrets to success: 10 ways to stay "motivated" as an Artist
  • Tolovaj Mar 20, 2012 @ 5:08 pm | delete
    Actually it is very easy - you have to set the lines. The real problem is to notice they are taking advantage of you.
    Thanks for detailed and useful info. Little Red riding Hood illustration is one of my favorites.
  • siobhanryan Mar 5, 2012 @ 11:08 pm | delete
    Loved this lens-in particular the story about the carrot egg and coffee
  • sousababy Mar 1, 2012 @ 7:37 pm | delete
    Came back to 'pin' this gem. Hope it helps!
  • kevingomes13 Feb 27, 2012 @ 2:45 am | delete
    I like your lens. It tackles the topic of gullibility from many different angles.
  • TTMall Feb 26, 2012 @ 7:36 am | delete
    Loved Your Lens! You really put a lot of good information in it.
  • AnnaAdam Feb 23, 2012 @ 2:13 am | delete
    Exceptionally good. I could not leave a single line of your lens. I just love the carrot egg and coffee story and prayer you have added.
  • LiteraryMind Feb 13, 2012 @ 7:01 pm | delete
    I have finally learned (and it took a long time) that there are times when I need to speak up, instead of being the silent nice person.
  • greenspirit Feb 8, 2012 @ 6:50 pm | delete
    coincidence is a sweet thing...went on a quest to find a 'famous personality' I liked and found your robin hood after much searching. Your return reply brought me here...to a page I really needed to find. Thankyou.
  • Ladymermaid Jan 22, 2012 @ 7:24 pm | delete
    My first sprinkling of angel dust on this lens has long worn off so I am back once again to scatter a little more. It is my quest today to bless all the lenses which I blessed in October of 2010. You are on this list.
  • flinnie Jan 20, 2012 @ 1:59 am | delete
    Hi great lens,thanks for all the info.I wish to all way be the coffee.This was a great read.
  • kimark421 Jan 19, 2012 @ 6:04 pm | delete
    Outstanding lens. Loved the carrot,egg,coffee analogy. Thanks for the great read!
  • domain19 Jan 16, 2012 @ 7:44 am | delete
    great information.... Thanks for share this lens.. i learn much... :D
  • Tipi Jan 13, 2012 @ 3:07 pm | delete
    Returning with fresh angel dust on this excellence!
  • VeseliDan Jan 12, 2012 @ 2:57 am | delete
    Hei! I have to say that this lens is a real eye opener! I've learned a lot from it! I hope that I will be able to see more lenses like this!
  • mannasugar Jan 9, 2012 @ 2:06 pm | delete
    Boundaries are very important...be friendly and affable and still have good boundaries...interesting Lens....
  • utvankan Dec 11, 2011 @ 12:11 pm | delete
    I just say no with an angry face or I play a game (You just need to find what kind of people they dont like) and they runaway :)
  • thesuccess Dec 5, 2011 @ 6:14 pm | delete
    Remember they will test out your acquiescence on a few unimportant things before going for the left hook!
  • Leopold-Blatt Nov 18, 2011 @ 4:30 pm | delete
    Very good information in your lens to stop people getting hoodwinked.
  • daphnedangerlove Nov 16, 2011 @ 2:08 pm | delete
    You have a lot of really good information on here! I love the Mother Teresa prayer.
  • rangiiria Oct 30, 2011 @ 9:27 pm | delete
    I have learnt so much. thanks for this lens.
  • jdream01 Oct 29, 2011 @ 2:10 am | delete
    I have to say this is a great post, like your style of writing and have liked your lense. :)
  • Paula7928 Oct 26, 2011 @ 7:21 pm | delete
    Great Lens Robin!
  • DebMartin Oct 26, 2011 @ 10:37 am | delete
    This has pulled me out of some tight spots...
    "That's not an option for me. Here's what I can do instead. And here's what I expect from you in return."
    Sometimes I just have to stop at "That's not an option for me." But not always. So the last two statements I use when I really want to help.
    The biggest thing I must remember when someone is trying to take advantage of me is that I owe them no explanations.
  • wolfie10 Oct 18, 2011 @ 3:18 pm | delete
    i think it is good to help people, but sometime you just have to say no. that is the hardest thing to do, in particular when dealing with family
  • EMangl Oct 14, 2011 @ 11:47 pm | delete
    using the word NO more often might help those who think everyone is taking advantage of them; i know plenty of people who are "yes sayers" but then they feel used
  • CPDInteractive Oct 11, 2011 @ 12:21 am | delete
    wow, this is great information!!! Thank you for writing this :)
  • ShirlW Oct 10, 2011 @ 8:23 am | delete
    Very well done (as usual) and Blessed by a Squid Angel today
  • pramodbisht Oct 4, 2011 @ 4:45 am | delete
    Nice Lens
  • COUNTRYLUTHIER Oct 2, 2011 @ 4:44 pm | delete
    I wasn't sure how deep this lens was going to be. It is plenty deep! THanks for sharing such a comprehensive lens with great additional materials and books. Outstanding lens effort.
  • DesignZeal Oct 2, 2011 @ 8:06 am | delete
    very inspirational and encouraging, thank you!
  • netlawman0 Sep 7, 2011 @ 12:51 am | delete
    This is great information
  • sousababy Sep 2, 2011 @ 6:01 pm | delete
    Came back to Google +1 this. Hope it helps! Sincerely, Rose
  • mamabush Aug 22, 2011 @ 7:51 pm | delete
    This is a very inspiring lens! Thanks for the work you put into it!
  • MiddleSister Aug 17, 2011 @ 3:01 pm | delete
    There's a lot here to think about. Thanks.
  • anticloud Aug 17, 2011 @ 8:57 am | delete
    What an informative and powerful lens. Thank you for sharing.
  • rosiegern Jul 23, 2011 @ 8:52 am | delete
    Very informative lens. Well thought-of and well-crafted. Lots of great points here that i never encountered before.
  • jaye5500 Jul 21, 2011 @ 5:21 pm | delete
    This lens particularly the story of the carrot,egg and the coffee has inspired me greatly. The story was not only in depth but it gave a great guide in how to approach things in life and deal with situations. There was a point in time that people found me to be very nice and yes they did take advantage of my kindness. I think the fear we have as individuals is the usage of that word NO! That word NO allows you the freedom not to feel guilty about anyone or anything. My ability to grow as an individual has helped me tremendously now I could stand up against any obstacles that may come my way. I have learned that I am in control of me, if anybody takes advantage of me is because I allow them to. Don't get me wrong it is a process but once you reach that bridge of freedom and empowerment you would look back to see how much you have grown. Great lens! Great job.
  • pramodbisht Jul 20, 2011 @ 4:38 am | delete
    Nice lens
  • ChrisDiamond Jul 20, 2011 @ 1:35 am | delete
    I like that part "Protect Yourself Against Bullsh*t " detectors and stuff ;-) +1 like on this one too ;-)

    Those who take advantage of others are really playing a game against themselves :-)
  • DashRom Jul 19, 2011 @ 6:05 am | delete
    Thanks for the great lense ...
    really well writtern
  • aleskotnik Jul 17, 2011 @ 9:42 am | delete
    Really informative Lense. It made me think about my past failures. Thanks!
  • Watercolor_World Jul 14, 2011 @ 3:38 am | delete
    Thanks for a great lens, I loved the coffee bean story. I always used to be available at work. I worked hard and was dedicated. I found people didn't think more of you and you worked yourself into the ground! I think you need to have a strong sense of self and know when you are being manipulated by others. It isn't scary that you think the fault is yours as it isn't really about fault but responsibility. You cannot take responsibility for others actions only your own. You don't let it happen, it don't happen! Only you can give permission for others to treat you badly and only you can stop it. Sometimes you will need help to stop drawing these circumstances to you. I had a friend who I used to give lifts to. I like being helpful so I did, one night she arrived very late asking for a lift but I had had a couple of drinks so I actually said NO. She persisted in spite of the fact is was against the law to drive. I refused. That was the end of the friendship. She was using me, when she couldn't so called friendship over!
  • Tiggered Jul 6, 2011 @ 4:44 am | delete
    Ouch! Actually it's quite scary that 25% of your visitors voted that getting hurt is the victim's fault. Sure, it's great to learn to protect yourself from abuse, but I think it's very destructive to feel guilty if someone hurts you anyway. It's funny, things like trust, love, connection are getting penalised and abuse, terror, lie, deceipt are excused. Not cool!
    PS. I do like your lens, I'm just worried by some of the feedback :)
  • PsychologySchools00 Jul 5, 2011 @ 4:52 am | delete
    I love the story about carrot, egg and coffee. I guess, I'm egg)) It needs a great effort, to become a coffee bean, don't you think so?))
  • whoisbid Jun 27, 2011 @ 12:13 pm | delete
    I know about people taking advantage. Funny thing is that we often cannot tell others when they are being conned because they won't listen at that point in time. We have to be really patient and sometimes it might take years.
  • BuildMyBrand Jun 21, 2011 @ 7:42 am | delete
    I think I will ruminate over some coffee. Thought provoking.
  • LizMac60 Jun 15, 2011 @ 3:58 am | delete
    I took an aged aunt to the Post Office every week for twenty years. When I finally broke free, on giving me some money for Christmas she said,"You don;t deserve it after the way you've treated me." !!! I'm not so easily put upon any more.
  • sayyoulovesatan Jun 12, 2011 @ 2:51 pm | delete
    I'm bookmarking this article! Thank you greatly for writing this. There are a few people in my work place who are life thwarters unfortunately. They are professionals at it. They can suck you in and before you even realize it, you're in their dark place with them. It's taking me years and constant work to stay away from that hole they try and shove you in when you least expect it. Thanks again!
  • Ruthi Jun 9, 2011 @ 8:14 pm | delete
    WoW! An excellent collection of information you've shared here! The book description for Nasty People i so right on! How To Stop Being Hurt By Them Without Stooping To Their Level ... it isimportant that we don't become of what it is we're the victims.
  • MaxReily Jun 1, 2011 @ 12:04 am | delete
    Thanks for a very insightful and important lens. So much excellent information here! I loved the story of the carrots, egg and coffee. Thanks for putting together such a helpful lens!
  • Tipi May 29, 2011 @ 12:04 pm | delete
    May we all be like coffee beans and have ear deflectors. This is excellent and quite the labor of love.
  • sousababy May 20, 2011 @ 8:34 am | delete
    Dear reasonablerobinson,

    I thank you so very deeply for such thoughtful commentary on my 'Doing It Anyway / Bullies at Work' lens. Some of the oldest thinking is 'Well, it takes two to tango' or in your one poll I was a bit saddened to see the majority vote being, 'it's a combination of people and circumstances' or even 'it's a clash of personalities.' Psychologists are JUST catching up to this deeper issue now, which is clearly on the rise (worldwide) in the last 10 years. In fact, I am just finishing up some reading now which I shall be adding to my lens asap.

    I shall explain: upon closer examination, the bully IS someone who feels the 'world revolves around him/her' (the narcissist), they NEVER are independent, and who feels threatened (real or perceived) by another person (not their equal) but, in fact, someone (often of the same sex and more highly qualified and/or educated). Instead of respecting their victim's work (or being 'corrected by the facts' of their victim's work) s/he tries to discredit, malign, gossip and even STALK their victim - to the point of interrupting productivity in the workplace. They just can't get over the fact of being 'proven wrong.' One thing this bully will do (when the victim finally exposes it) is say, 'You are being paranoid.' This is the hallmark phrase of a bully - others will tell the victim this too. And yet, it is the bully who will not leave their victim alone (indeed, one is still in my Fan Club??).

    It CLEARLY is not about work at all . . it is about the bully's (or narcissistic, perhaps sociopathic) need to control others (and try to get 'rid' of those whom s/he is jealous of or threatened by) - s/he has a revenge mentality. Something that I will hope to show some newer facts regarding as it relates to the 'Gamer mentality' - again, I am still reading studies that are ongoing.

    Something highly overlooked is the fact that the victim (once exposing it) often gives the bully a chance to rectify it . . this can be a mistake (and one I have made myself). When someone 'corrects' a bully - even by phrasing it with, 'I apologize for any offence you may take but here are the facts...' or 'Tell me, what do you base this on - where is the proof in this study to draw such a conclusion - what impressed you so much about this person's work/study?' the bully STILL cannot handle being proven wrong or to even explain him/herself.

    EVERY whistle blower gets bullied [based on 1,000 of respondents in studies by the WBI and Zogbi International and other international studies I have read (not just my own experiences - even here on Squidoo)].

    The bully then gravitates to others who are vulnerable and tries to collect all the supporters s/he can - feeling there is 'power in numbers' and often continues on targeting their victim behind the scenes (personal emails after hours, parties, social gatherings and times UNrelated to the workplace), perhaps in forums (here on Squidoo). I even had one post that I had more than one account on Squidoo - most likely because someone supported my work? (Again, jealousy is at the root of it, Spook's comment and work examines this too).

    And guess what, 64% it works! A clear 80% of the time, this is legal (in North America). Very hard to prove, indeed.

    Why it works? Because the bully builds her/himself up (often to new people/supporters with like minds - re: lesser qualified/educated or those who similarly feel threatened or who cannot handle being 'corrected') as 'I am really the one in charge' or 'I can do you a favor' or 'I'll help you out, because I like you more, etc.' Ha, they even put phony credentials into their job title (a few I have worked with even changed their title - to 'Office Manager' or a variation of a certification like 'Scientific Technician' - when their actual job title was: Administrative Assistant and Lab Technician). Again, I have studied this for a decade now (and even have my own proof of it, sadly - even here on Squidoo).

    I am lensrolling your lens to mine, of course and will Squid cast my newest study findings (I always like to present the latest and most credible sources - so may take a while).

    Most respectfully,

    Rose
  • darciefrench May 15, 2011 @ 2:04 pm | delete
    Excellent info on this lens about bullying. I was attracted because I've been bullied for months by another lensmaster hiding as a 'victim'. In a moment of weakness, I let this person get under my skin. Now I just ignore them completely, otherwise it seems to feed their desire to carry on attacking.
  • bames24 May 9, 2011 @ 10:22 pm | delete
    great lens... :)
  • mattseefood May 3, 2011 @ 2:21 am | delete
    Nice take on this topic! Very informative.
  • SereneSea May 1, 2011 @ 12:01 pm | delete
    Very important information and useful tips. So many times, we don't even know people are taking advantage of us, then comes the tough part - how to stop them. For every individual, the trick to avoidance is different, and many times we are so afraid to hurt.
  • karmicchristian Apr 14, 2011 @ 3:53 am | delete
    Very informative and thought provoking lens. Thank you and good day.
  • falldown2007 Apr 1, 2011 @ 10:12 am | delete
    Thank you awesome lens.
  • SuperZoe Mar 27, 2011 @ 8:49 am | delete
    Great lens, I really enjoyed that prayer. It's so true. :-)
  • Prachi Mar 20, 2011 @ 8:33 am | delete
    Inspiring indeed.....the thought, the lens, the layout....everything is awesome!!
  • Kathryn002 Mar 18, 2011 @ 7:35 pm | delete
    This is a really thought-provoking and well laid out lens. Well done!
  • Niche-Squidoo Mar 17, 2011 @ 5:06 am | delete
    very informative lens - big thumbs up from me!
  • JonitasKalimpo Mar 11, 2011 @ 7:46 pm | delete
    This is a great theme and a great lens. You've been blessed by a squidoo angel.
  • jvsper63 Mar 8, 2011 @ 11:06 am | delete
    This is great. I am going away learning something. Thank you Great lens!!
  • photofk3 Feb 6, 2011 @ 2:41 pm | delete
    Great content. I especially liked the story about the carrot, the egg and the coffee beans. Keep it up and thank you for sharing this.
  • norhaan Jan 9, 2011 @ 2:04 am | delete
    You need to have a high self-esteem to stop people taking advantage of you.
  • sustainableartist Jan 8, 2011 @ 11:14 pm | delete
    I really like this, thank you :) Lots of good thoughts! Be the coffee bean!
  • LubosLabik Dec 28, 2010 @ 1:17 pm | delete
    This lens is being favorited by me. Great info.
  • SereneSea Dec 18, 2010 @ 3:01 am | delete
    The story is too good, it just narrates how to become smarter and tough. Helping is one thing but letting people take advantage of you is another. Great way of putting things so nicely that they fit perfectly in the context.
  • Tipi Dec 16, 2010 @ 10:23 pm | delete
    I'm getting better at not being taken advantage of, always seem to think everyone has good intentions. This is excellent! I can tell you put a lot of time and thought into this and it paid off.
    May we all change the water!
  • javrsmith Dec 9, 2010 @ 8:02 am | delete
    Thank-you for trying to help so many people.
  • tembrooke Dec 3, 2010 @ 10:10 am | delete
    A very detailed lens on an interesting & helpful topic! Blessed!
  • TamaraKajari Nov 20, 2010 @ 5:19 pm | delete
    Very motivating! It amazes me how often are we afraid to react and to stand up to something or someone. I try to be a coffee as much as I can:-) Great lens!
  • Charlystoybox Nov 4, 2010 @ 11:47 am | delete
    Beautiful Lens!Thanky you for making me smile:)
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 4, 2010 @ 3:43 pm | delete
    nice to see you here
  • rwoman Nov 3, 2010 @ 10:58 am | delete
    I think you have to work first and foremost on confidence and recognize that your self-worth can only come from you. Too often we allow people to take advantage of us because we want to please them or have them value us - and of course once we let them take advantage they will never value us. Great lens!
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 4, 2010 @ 3:43 pm | delete
    I agree.
  • moonlitta Nov 3, 2010 @ 2:28 am | delete
    Nice one. Especially liked the carrot-egg-coffee story and the con part. thanks for making the lens:)
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 4, 2010 @ 3:43 pm | delete
    yes, great story isn't it
  • Asinka Oct 26, 2010 @ 4:41 pm | delete
    You write so well. The credit for my name goes to my parents. Thanks for visiting my lens, and leaving a note. Really appreciate it, joined your fan club :).
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 4, 2010 @ 3:44 pm | delete
    thank you for your kind comments
  • kt_glasses Oct 21, 2010 @ 9:08 pm | delete
    Interesting topic! People all should read this.
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 4, 2010 @ 3:44 pm | delete
    glad it seems helpful
  • Ramonailona Oct 16, 2010 @ 5:19 pm | delete
    Great Lens. I especially liked the Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Bean. Made a lot of sense.
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 4, 2010 @ 3:44 pm | delete
    yes, it made me think alot
  • thesuccess Oct 16, 2010 @ 4:14 am | delete
    A lens everyone should read
  • louiswery Oct 11, 2010 @ 9:37 am | delete
    Interesting and helpful information. You gave me a lot to think about. Let us strive to become like the coffee bean.
  • Ladymermaid Oct 10, 2010 @ 9:26 am | delete
    This beautiful article is being blessed by a squid angel this morning. Have a wonderful day :)
  • reasonablerobinson Oct 12, 2010 @ 1:56 pm | delete
    Thank you very much for blessing this lens. Glad you liked it.
  • WriterBuzz Oct 2, 2010 @ 6:38 am | delete
    This is a great lens. Thanks for making it. Very informative. I gave you a thumbs up

    cause I like your lens.
  • reasonablerobinson Oct 12, 2010 @ 1:56 pm | delete
    Much appreciated!
  • daoine Sep 18, 2010 @ 3:00 am | delete
    Oh, you wrote this lens for me, didn't you? Lensrolled to my Workplace Bullying lens.
  • Photahsiamirabel Sep 15, 2010 @ 9:02 am | delete
    Having had my health destroyed in the 90s by intensive bullying in the workplace, I slowly learned to say "It's not about me" There are some people who will never see the positive in others, but that is a projection of their own inadequacy, not ours! Blessed by an angel today :)
  • reasonablerobinson Sep 15, 2010 @ 10:34 am | delete
    I am always dismayed to hear reports of what is one of the most pernicious forms of organisational behaviour. Their is something inherent in organisational structures and 'managerial' norms that somehow allow the elevation of aggressive dogmatic types to positions of authoirty. This is why I favour emancipatory managerial philosophies such as Critical Realism
  • drs2biz Sep 13, 2010 @ 10:28 pm | delete
    Thanks RR. This is a great resource that I will have to return to over and over.
  • sponias Aug 28, 2010 @ 6:34 pm | delete
    I stop people from taking advantage of me by translating my dreams according to the scientific method. I have warnings about their bad intentions in my own dreams. However, many times I let many people take advantage of my goodness because they need my support, even without deserving it.
  • skiesgreen Aug 5, 2010 @ 12:01 am | delete
    A marvelous examination and well researched topic. If only the bullies and liars could be changed - hah. *-*Blessed*-* and featured on Sprinkled with Stardust and also on Neighbour Bullying
  • Oosquid Jun 4, 2010 @ 4:08 pm | delete
    Hmm, how to be one of the coffee beans of this world, that is the question. Superb lens.
  • totalhealth Mar 12, 2010 @ 2:13 pm | delete
    i love your story and the comparisson you made with the carrots egg and coffee, sent it to my friend who's going through a hard time right now.
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 7, 2009 @ 6:58 am | in reply to LaraineRose | delete
    I think that is good advice Laraine
  • LaraineRose Nov 7, 2009 @ 5:01 am | delete
    Some say, "Live and Learn." I say, "Live BUT learn." My folks taught us to learn from other's mistakes. I believe that this helped. I read it all and will always remember about the "Carrot, egg or coffee."
  • spunkyduckling Oct 19, 2009 @ 4:06 pm | delete
    Great carrot egg coffee story. I've favorited it. Thank goodness my days of being taken advantage of has been over years ago.
  • WindyWinters Aug 5, 2009 @ 2:12 am | delete
    I really enjoyed reading this lens. Very good points! Happy Squidooing!
  • reasonablerobinson Apr 22, 2009 @ 3:26 pm | in reply to XpectMorebizsolutions | delete
    Thank you for visiting I'm delighted you are less prone to B.S. and excellent situation. People who read this might also find this link helpful Bullshit Deflectors
  • XpectMorebizsolutions Apr 22, 2009 @ 12:37 pm | delete
    This is a great lens with a different perspective on Gullible that I have ever heard.

    I find that I am now less gullible. I have been taken advantage of to many times that I am finally catching on to the B. S. I got tired of it.

    Kami
    XpectMore
  • Mar 5, 2009 @ 6:33 pm | delete
    diggyisking, I do believe is right. In school , starting around age 12, I used to pretend to believe everything I was told by a classmate. Soon, more and more would tell me taller and taller tales, And I would in turn, eat them up. They all thought I was oh so gullible. But all the while I couldn't understand how so many of them could be so eager to believe that it was I who was gullible. I still wonder if any of them figured out that I was hoodwinking them. Human Psychology
    is fascinating.
  • diggyisking Jan 9, 2009 @ 12:49 am | delete
    I think people are more prone to take advantage of you if they feel they can. So if you portray yourself as a fool or someone gullible with no strong standpoints, people will see you as a victim and pick on you. If they realise you are someone with strong standpoints, they will try less , but even then, you can just say no, and they will not be able to use you!
  • reasonablerobinson Nov 14, 2008 @ 3:48 pm | in reply to spirituality | delete
    Ha ha - thanks for visiting and leaving a comment
  • spirituality Nov 14, 2008 @ 7:57 am | delete
    Impressive lens with some great points. Unfortunately I don't think this will help me never get duped again...
  • ronpass Nov 23, 2007 @ 2:34 pm | delete
    What an original idea for a lens - I see you have visited the classic sources of critical theory (I'm an action researcher from way back!).
    Ron Passfield
    Squidoo Marketing
  • aovpinay Nov 4, 2007 @ 5:31 am | delete
    5 stars for great content..

    "If only I knew..."

    Well, never again... make use of this lense and lead a 'duped' free life.

    :)
    Aweng
  • reasonablerobinson May 27, 2007 @ 12:43 pm | delete
    Imagine...never being duped again

by

reasonablerobinson

Are you gullible or are you the victim of the situation and the bad behaviour of others?

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