Trick or Treat Halloween Jokes

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!

Q: Did you hear about the witch who turned her friend into an egg?
A: She kept trying to poach her ideas

Q: What did the young witch say to her mother
A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight

Q: What do you call a witch with one leg?
A: Eileen.

Q: Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?
A: She was having Disney spells....

Q: Why wont a witch wear a flat cap?
A: Because theres no point in it...

Q: What happens if you see twin witches?
A: You wont be able to tell witch witch is witch....

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
A: By blood vessels.

Q: Who is a vampire likey to fall in love with?
A: The girl necks door.

Q: Why did the teacher send Dracula jr. home?
A: Because he was coffin too much.

Q: What happened to the vampire who swallowed sheep ?
A: He felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad !

Q: What's Dracula's favourite coffee ?
A: Decoffinated !

Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q: What is a pirates favourite cheese?
A: Cheddaaaarrrrr

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his hook and his peg leg?
A: An arm and a leg.

Q: Why did the pirate's phone go "beep beep beep"?

A: Cause he left it off the hook

Q: Why does it take pirate's so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they get stuck at "C"!

Q: What's a pirate's favorite instrument?
A: guitarrrrrrrrrrrr!

Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A. For the Boos.
Q. What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets?
A. Dead ends
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers.
Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store.
Q: Why are ghosts bad at telling lies ?
A: Because you can see right through them !
Q: What kind of ghost has the best hearing ?
A: The eeriest !
Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
A: Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Q: What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
A: Boo-ties!

Q: Do mermaids use knives and forks when they eat?
A: No, they use their fish fingers!

Q: Why was the Little Mermaid embarrassed?
A: Because she saw the big ship's bottom!

Q; What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A: A nervous wreck!

Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can't tuna fish!

Q: Why was Cinderella no good at playing hockey?
A: Because she was always running away from the ball!

Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
A: Someday my prints will come!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Aladdin.
Aladdin who?
A lad in the street who wants to come in!

Q: Do you know what's inside Aladdin's lamp?
A: It would take a genie-us to find out!

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.

Q: Why do bicycles fall over?
A: Because they are two-tired!

Q: Why was the belt arrested?
A: Because it held up some pants!

Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet?
A: There are 11 letters in 'The Alphabet'

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters?
A: IC (icy)

Q: What is the difference between Boy's and Men
A: The price of their Toy's

Knock knock
Whos there?
Woody?
Woody who?
Woody please just see the movie for yourself...

We Three Ghosts (to the tune of We Three Kings)
We three ghosts of Halloween are
Scaring kids who wander too far.
Trick or treating, candy eating,
Watching for the Halloween Star.

Oh...oh...

Star of darkness, star of fright.
Star of every gruesome sight.
West winds howling, cat's a-yowling,
Let us play some tricks tonight!

I'M A LITTLE SPIDER
(Tune: I'm a Little Teapot)
I'm a little spider,
Watch me spin.
If you'll be my dinner,
I'll let you come in.
Then I'll spin my web to hold you tight,
And gobble you up in one big bite!