Happy couples do what?

Hello all you happy couples! Yes, I said couples, because this advice won't work unless you and your spouse agree to work on your marriage together. Which leads me to the first DO:

DO: Inform and include your spouse in resolving any and all marital concerns. If you find anything lacking in your marriage your spouse must be the first (and if at all possible, the only) person you tell. By doing this, you demonstrated your commitment to the marriage, and you further show that you trust and love your spouse.

DON'T: Let your spouse be the last to know that you have concerns or issues, or would like to make changes in your marriage. It is human to want to be right; so consequently when problems occur one tends to talk to people who will agree with their point of view. This is fine for feedback, but it does nothing to resolve a marital issue. Marriages are a two person operation and it is only those two people who can initiate or effect any real change. Don't waste time giving lip service to someone else, if you really want something to change, go to the source. By doing this you demonstrate a high level of respect and esteem for your spouse.

DO: Be slow to speak and quick to listen. This is from the bible and it simply means listen to what the other person has to say. Let's go a little further.....actively listen to your spouse. Active listening means listening from the heart. To listen from the heart one must practice hearing what the other person is saying, instead of thinking of what you'll say after they're finished talking. Really listening to someone involve hearing what they have to say without using what that have to say for furtherance of your own agenda. Do wait until your spouse is done speaking before you give a reply or an answer. Do consider and try to understand what your spouse has said before you give reply or answer. The most loving thing people can do for each other is listening from the heart.

DON'T: Economize on the compliments. Don't be the stingy with your praise. Always be ready with a kind word or congratulations for your spouse. Continuously praising your spouse is beneficial to you both; it helps you recognize and remember all the good and lovely things about your spouse. It helps your spouse to stay positive and strive to be that person whom you admire so much. Don't have a drought in your "brag about", never miss a chance to let your spouse know that you realize and appreciate their efforts, and accomplishments. Don't forget it takes a wise person to see the wisdom in others.

DO: Discuss and set short term and long term goals for your marriage. Marriage goals are simply a road map to where you want to go and how you intend to get there. Goals should include anything you and your spouse find important i.e. family goals (children, yes/no, how many, how soon), career goals, financial goals, housing goals (where you want to live now and in the future). Your goals should be specific and include input from both you and your spouse; they should be categorized by whether they're long term or short term. Long term and short terms goals should be prioritized by couple's value system or whatever they find most essential at the time. By setting goals you show a strong belief and commitment towards the future of your marriage; this also demonstrates trust.

DON'T: Forget that life is short. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, so celebrate today. No, really CELEBRATE TODAY! Don't forget that you have someone to share your life with. You have a friend, a lover, a confidant, a co-parent, and a counselor (who knows you better than anyone else). Celebrate, celebrate, and celebrate. Life brings its own struggles and every couple goes through them; so when there is a break in the rain, celebrate, celebrate, celebrate.

DO: Say it, show it, do it. Love the love you love. Huh? Love your baby, your boo, your big daddy love them bravely, love them strongly, love them openly, love the opportunity they gave you to love them. Love them honestly, love them with no conditions, love them only, love them faithfully. Love them enough to forsake all others (even the cute ones), love them respectfully, love them completely and love them endlessly.

Enjoy your lives together happy couples, and may you continue to invest time in your marriage.

The ingredients for a delicious marriage: 2 parts love, 2 parts respect, 1 common goal, 100% commitment, 24/7 communication

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