Dr. Stewart Hardlypie

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic by 0 people | Log in to rate

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The Good Doctor and his Great Project

Emerging from long rest and focused enterprise is our Good Doctor, Dr. Stewart Hardlypie, who in the annals of PsycHumor.com's history has proven true in all respects.  It is time for a new era and Corresponding Project, and for our long-standing readership, we expect wonderful things.  Thank you for your incredible devotion and support.  More is to come!

Some Important Hardlypie-Related Links 

If you are looking for the most pertinent information about Stewart Hardlypie, you will find those things here. You may also be interested in the PsycHumor Lens, which describes the original Clinic in all its glory (and may fill in some of the missing puzzle pieces you're so perplexed by).
You Might Be Wondering...
Wherein the Administrator (as she was called in the Old Days) explains the situation in her own cryptic -- ever interesting! -- but largely unhelpful way.
The New Emergence of Dr. Hardlypie
Wherein the Good Doctor awakens from his rest and gives us some clue as to what the hell might be going on.

Dr. Stewart Hardlypie 

Most Recent Website Entries

Disabled Psychologist, Semi-Retired Alienist, Emerging on a Beach Near You.

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Who is Dr. Hardlypie? 

The Original All-Purpose Introduction

Who is Dr. Stewart Hardlypie, once un-paid consultant of PsycHumor.com? We no longer think of him as a person, but rather a fractured amalgam of multiple personalities. He came to psychology later in life, requiring, due to his disability, 23 years of continuous registration to complete his doctorate. Prior to this he worked as a mailman, library clerk, general manager of a radio station, and on the assembly line in a Puerto Rican lamp factory.

Dr. Hardlypie's early student years were marked by his participation in a $100,000 grant to study alcoholic goldfish, which was later the book cover of an exposition of the most irrelevant research in the history of the United States ever to receive public funding.

Moving on, Dr. Hardlypie practiced psychotherapy for a quarter of a century in a variety of public and private settings, sometimes praised, often misunderstood, may we confess held in contempt, until he came upon his life's calling: The Men who are Victimized by Women Victims Therapy Group, of which he is, no doubt, the founding genius.

Dr. Hardlypie believes that the most salient and overlooked taboo in Western Civilization is thumb-sucking, the return to which has been the lifelong cure of the pitiful and co-dependent men who have flocked to be treated in his clinic.

"Show me a man who sucks his thumb," Dr. Hardlypie proclaims, "and here is a citizen free of the feverish compulsion to re-enter the womb."

Dr. Hardlypie's most controversial technique has been to encourage his group members to get in touch with their sense of shame. They have ultimately left the therapeutic milieu, proudly displaying large buttons which announce, "I AM A BIG SUCKER!" He has issued standing invitations to the President of the United States and high ranking republicans to join in his revolutionary and curative procedure.

Dr. Hardlypie lives with his wife (often referred to as Herself), his care and supervision largely given over to six therapy dogs. He has a statue of Saint Francis at his front door, an icon of his love for animals. Dr. Hardlypie has not taken a vow of poverty. Rather, he is penniless because he has failed at every business he has attempted.

When he is allowed to leave the house, he may be spotted at the theatrical performances of either of his daughters in his wheelchair bearing the sign, "THE CAPTAIN'S WORD IS LAW."

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