How to Play Hard to Get?

Have you ever dated a guy and it was going great. You felt such a great connection and then he stopped calling, or vanished? What happened. You were easy to forget that is what happened. Below are some signs that you may be "easy".

You are always available when he calls.

You call or text him

You never have other plans

You change plans to fit his schedule

You initiate plans and dates instead of waiting for him to do it

You send emails before he has emailed you

You ask him why did he not call

You ask him when he is going to call

You ask him when will you see him again

You buy him gifts

You do his laundry and some house chores for him

You offer to do things for him to make his life easier

You tell him how you feel about him

You ask him where the relationship is heading.

These above actions send a signal that you are more into him than he may be into you. It shows him that you are seeking validation through him and not through yourself. A woman that has her own life, is busy and puts herself first is very sexy to a man. When a woman starts putting the man first, her value decreases in his eyes. He wants to be the one to chase. He wants to be the one to win. Remember you don't want him to see you as a mother. You want him to see you as mysterious and different from all of the other women out there.

How To Flirt With Men

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

The magic formula in playing hard to get is give a little and then pull back, give a little and then pull back. Rinse and repeat. Its like a schoolyard game of tag and you are it. If you just stand still he will stop chasing you. If you keep moving, he will keep chasing you.

When a man sees you as his only social outlet and you are always available to him he will not bother to pencil himself in. Why should he, you aren't going anywhere. That is why it is so important to have your own life. If you have your own life, you are naturally hard to get. He may be competing with your yoga class, happy hour with the girls, but he is competing and men love competetion. Thats how you pull back. It's not like you are shutting him out, you just have other things going on. Getting your time is not so easy. It makes him crave it more.

When a man is in pursuit mode, he gets the same feeling he gets when he is playing a slot machine in a casino. He can lose ten times in a row, but he will still be on the edge of his seat thinking, "I'm almost winning" and he will keep playing.

How To Flirt With Men

So when you are playing hard to get, when he does get your time it is important to be easy to be with. A woman who is easy to be with is just herself. She does not look to him for validation. She is upbeat, fun, flirty and never puts pressures or demands on him. She conveys an attitude that she is fine with or without him. This sets off an alarm in his head. He thinks you are different and its going to take more to win you over. This is a huge turnon for a man.

You aren't worried if he will call or if you will get another date. You are just fine with you and your wonderful life. This makes him want to be a part of it. He will want to learn more about what makes you tick. What a woman, you are fun to be with and you don't put the pressure on or question him. He feels safe to move forward. He does not fear you becoming the clingy needy crazy women of his past.

How To Flirt With Men

In the early stages of dating we are often anxious to put the girlfriend crown on too soon. You have been on a few dates over the course of weeks or a couple of months. You think it's time but he is not even aware the pageant has begun. We are expecting phone calls regularly, more and more amounts of his time and just seeing ourselves in his life. Men do not get in a hurry to place that crown on your head.

What we have to realize is he had a life before you came along. So did you. It will take time for him to work you into his life. He also has to want to. If you are placing yourself there before he moves you there, you will loose almost everytime. Let him go at his own pace and you continue with your life. If something he does feels wrong, pull back. He will notice. He will either fix it or not. If not, well you should not be dating him anyway.

In the beginning part of playing hard to get is by mimicking his level of commitment.

If he takes a few hours to return a phone call you take a few hours to pick up.

If he calls later than he said he would, let it go to voice mail. A few of these missed phone calls will make him ask "Are you mad at me?" You answer, no, not at all, I was just busy.

If he goes out of town and doesn't call, he should not be able to get a hold of you easily when he gets back. A couple days should do it.

If he calls late at night, don't answer. On your next date tell him not to call after you are in bed. That tells him you can live without talking to him and you were not concerned about where he is at night.

If he calls late at night and wants to get together turn him down. Next time he will know he has to call earlier and advanced notice is required.

Being hard to get is all about letting him work around you most of the time and not about you working around him.

How To Flirt With Men

If I had to sum up the biggest mistake women make in dating in one sentence it would be this. We start making him a priority when we are still just an option. In other words we start acting like the girlfriend way before he has decided he wants us in that role. We start expecting contact, expecting him to do certain things and when he doesn't we freak. We start wanting to control the outcome. We can't really.

So how do we start trying to control the outcome? We may start to initiate contact when we haven't heard from him for a few days. If he does not reply to our texts, we text again and sometimes again. This sends him the signal loud and clear, we are way more into him than he is us.

Another way we make this mistake in dating is to start asking questions. Why didn't you call. Are you going to call? Where do you see this going? Are you looking for a relationship? Things like that. When we ask these questions we are telling him loud and clear he has the power to dictate the terms of how this dating thing plays out. We are seeking reassurance from the man and he sees this as insecurity and feels he has to validate us. Not good, not good at all.

Another mistake women make in dating which also applies to the option/priority rule is to start giving to him. We offer to do things for him to make his life better hoping this will make him like us more. We may do his laundry, cook for him, go out of our way for him. This is a huge attraction killer. This is behavior that should be reserved for a man that has made up a priority, not a man that has taken us on a few dates. Stop worrying about if he likes you or not, let him wonder if you like him instead.

My inbox is full every day with women who make these and many other mistakes in dating. Stop spinning your wheels with things that don't work and start learning what does. Learn how to create, and keep that attraction alive and burning. It's really not that hard, be the woman he adores.