Living with the results of a traumatic brain injury
I was hit by a car when I was three years old, in 1974.
I have grown up all my life with the effects of the head injury.I am now 37 years old. When I was hit by the car, I was in a coma for two weeks afterwards.
I had to learn how to do everything all over again. The effects of the accident, left me with coordination and learning problems. As well as a life-long struggle with depression. I also still have a mild tremor in my hands.I am writing this in the hope that I will provide encouragement to people who have had head injuries and that they should never give up.
The only people who really know what the effects are, are those that live with them every day. Life is a learning and a growth experience. Just remember this, where there's a will, there's a way. I am constantly pushing the limits of my abilities and am therefore, constantly growing; both physically and mentally. Peace...Caution...
I have brain damage
My experience...
With a head injury
I have had trouble remembering things at times. I have also been unwilling to admit to it in the past. In my struggle to be normal and just like everyone else; I have not been willing to admit that I have certain problems like remembering things, being slower, talking slower, having a harder time understanding some things.
Sometimes, when being given instructions, I will have to ask for them to repeat or rephrase what they have said. My memory is frustrating because at times, it seems to be selective and can only remember the things that I am really interested in.
It's very frustrating to live with this condition. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it to do anything.
That's the depression kicking in again. It always kicks me in the ass for some reason. Plus, another one of the effects of the head injury is an inability to hold onto friendships for some reason. Sometimes all friendships feel like a dead end; but, then when I'm in some friendships I think, hey this isn't so bad. So, there is a lot of inner conflict as far as friendships go.
The only interaction that I have with other people these days are my family and the ones that I see in a 12-step program that I go to. I have heard that this is also an effect of the head injury.
My experience continued
With a head injury
My life is very lonely which I don't really like but, I have this inner contradiction as far as having friends goes. On one hand I feel lonely and would enjoy the company of others. But, on the other hand; I feel like a relationship or friends would take up too much of my time and would not allow me the time to do what I need to do.So, you can see that I'm always kicking myself in the ass for something. I think that I should be farther along in life than I am too. I might be too hard on myself but this is who I am and how I think.
When I was younger; I was terrified of loud noises. I would run and hide whenever I heard a motorcycle or a car with a loud muffler. I didn't stop running and hiding until I was about 15. That is also around the time that I stopped wetting the bed.
Growing up was hard and so was school. I was placed in special education classes because I was slower and had difficulty learning. The whole social atmosphere was difficult too.
I knew I wasn't like the other kids; so, my self-esteem suffered as a result. I always valued being honest with people but it got me into trouble.
You see, I have a dent in my forehead from where the car hit me. The other kids would ask me what happened and I would tell them that I got hit by a car.
A lot of times they would look at me like I was stupid or call me stupid and I would be ostrocized. It's hard enough just to try to get to know yourself when you're young but, this just adds extra pressure.
Mental health
At a young age
At the age of 8, I was suicidal. For a long time the only thing that I could think about was dying. Not a great problem solving skill, I know. Every time a problem would come up, I would automatically start thinking about suicide again. It's hard to plan for any kind of a future when you are thinking about dying all the time.
As I tried to go through school and make friends; it was a very hard thing for me. I was shy and quiet, very quiet. Sometimes, the other kids would come up to me and make fun of me because I never said anything to anyone. And to be honest, I felt like I didn't have anything to say.
There would be times when I was invited to a party but I didn't go because I was so scared of people. I was afraid of everything and everybody. Plus, I really had to get to know a person before I could trust them. I was scared of saying something stupid in social settings; so, I wouldn't say anything at all.
Growing up, I had very bad self-esteem. I always thought of myself as a loser and I suffered greatly as a result. It's frustrating to try to function socially when sometimes all you do is say stupid things because you are trying to say something just to fit in or get a conversation started; when, in the end you come across looking like an ass because you are unintentionally, putting your foot in your mouth; if you know what I mean.
The importance of a sense of humor
Definitely a must have
I cannot stress enough how important it is to be able to laugh at yourself; as well as others. I know that there are times in life when you do need to be serious but, not all the time. I always try to feel things out with what I call my mental radar or my intuition. As a result of this, I'm able to enjoy myself most of the time. Sure, there are times when I struggle; just like every human being on Earth. You see, I suffer from this condition called," being human.
The memory problems
Drive me crazy
The constant struggle with memory is something that continues to plague me. I do have tools to use; like post-it notes, organizers, and notes on the refrigerator. I admit that I do use refrigerator magnets a bit. I also have three different calenders with stuff written on them to help me remember. I, often times have to cross off the days on the calender as I go, just so I can remember what day it is. Don't fall into this trap
It will keep you trapped every time
Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of asking yourself what you would be like if the accident never happened. Focusing on that is pointless because what's done is done. So, deal with it. I know, it's not a very nice thing to say but, it's reality. I don't know how many years I wasted by just staying in self pity. It's impossible to set any kind of goals in that mind set; let alone achieve them. Always be the optimist because the pessimist always loses. Those are my words of wisdom. I know this from experience; hard life experience. Believe me; if you do things the easy way, it is a lot better. Ways of being
In a positive frame of mind
I like to be an optimist because it sure beats the hell out of being a pessimist. I would rather think about the good things. I have gotten myself into the habit of keeping a gratitude journal on a daily basis; of the things that I am grateful for. By doing this; it helps me to not be depressed but, I still couldn't survive without the medication for depression. The memory problems continue
Will they ever go away?
Ever read something and have it not register? This happens to me often. Then, I start to wonder why I even bother to read anything in the first place. Sometimes the memories are so scattered that it is hard to make sense of them. I guess it comes down to a matter of interest. I'm sure going to remember something I'm interested in, right? Not exactly, I will remember bits and pieces of it, most likely; but I will probably not remember every detail. I don't know if I have a problem with this because I had a head injury or if my problem is that I'm just a perfectionist. The daily struggle
Of living life
As I am the one who has to live with myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year; I find myself alone, often. Sometimes I think that it's too often. A lot of times I think that I need friends and I would like to have friends but, on the other hand; I have a lot of stuff to do. I have lots of writing to do and who knows if that will ever get off the ground. Oh well... Feeling different
Than everybody else
I don't know why I should be any different than anybody else. So, I had a traumatic head injury. So what? Big deal!!! Why should I be any different just because my brain functions differently? Yes, I'm a little slower to process some things but, not all. I may have my own flaws and faults but, that is what makes me an individual and a human being. Insomnia
I hate it
Insomnia sucks, big time. I'm having very bad back pain and I can't sleep. Insomnia is the worst because you want to sleep but, you can't. You don't really know why except for the fact that you are restless, irritable, and discontent. What is a person to do? Doing research
I persevere
Sometimes I wonder if it does any good whatsoever. I don't even know if I'm retaining what I'm reading sometimes; let alone, writing. Oh well, I guess it will all come out in the wash in the end. It's like the old saying goes; try, and try, try, try again. All of this trying when all I really want to do is get something accomplished. As I
continue...
On my merry way, I still have things to say. Hence, I have the need to type it here because I don't think that anyone would care because it is complete nonsense, anyways. But, it does serve the purpose of entertaining me which I think should be enough. But, what do I know? I'm just a human being, after all. After all is said and done; and profits are won, I'm still there. All alone and pondering on the meaning of life. Although, I did figure this out a long time ago. My purpose is to learn and grow and become a better human being and make the world a better place. Why is this so hard? No matter what I do...
I still have to deal with...
The frustration of having a head injury; that not many understand.
I sometimes wonder if I am retaining what I'm trying to learn. I know that I have the capacity to learn something but if it's something that I have no interest whatsoever in; it's just not going to happen. I will retain nothing. On the other hand; if I do have interest in it, I'll do quite well. This, is who I am. Is everybody like this or is it just me? I guess this is what I get by isolating myself but, I feel so uncomfortable in social settings.
"Can I get some advice?"
My best advice
Here it is
My best advice to anybody is never give up. You are the only one who can ever count yourself out. I've been a loner and outcast all of my life but I never give up. Just because my head injury happened at such a young age, I'll never know what I would've been like if it hadn't happened. Afterall, it's like what Wayne Dyer says in one of his audio programs; you can never would've, should've, could've done anything because that is all in the past. And unless someone comes up with a time machine to be able to go back and change things; I have to deal with what is, in life.
A head injury is a...
The frustration of being a writer and the memory problems that go with a head injury
The two don't seem to go together very well
I will never give up
Or will I?
I would write a book
But...
There is hope and...
Help for people with head injuries
Lost and don't know where to turn to for help?
- Welcome to the BIAA's new website!
- The Brain Injury Association of America
- Brain Injury Resource Foundation
- Since 1982, the unique role of the Brain Injury Resource Foundation (BIRF) has been to direct families toward services and resources needed to handle the physical, emotional, mental, and relational challenges endemic to brain injury.
- The Brain Trauma Foundation: BTF Home
- Home of the Brain Trauma Foundation.
- Traumatic Brain Injury Resource Guide
- A traumatic brain injury resource guide with over 1,500 pages of material on brain injury, concussion, rehabilitation, long-term assisted living, research, pharmocology, support, multi-media products, and much more.
- Brain Injury Library
- Providing difficult to find information on head injury since 1985. Referrals, resources and free consultations.
More help from...
Blogs
About head injuries
- Skateboarder Dies From Head Injury
- O'Brian had fallen, had a gash on the back of his head, was unconscious and had been for several minutes. . . . According to reports, he was traveling at approximately 20 mph when he fell backward off his board. ...
- Mom says at KC trial she waited for girl to die
- Testifying in her husband's first-degree murder trial, Michelle Johnson said she watched Harrell Johnson kick little Erica Green in the head and later helped him dump the girl's decapitated body in a wooded area of Kansas City. ...
- Effects of Brain Injury
- Most traumatic brain injuries are the result of a serious blow to the head, sometimes resulting from the negligence or malice of other people. Several lawyers specialize in representing clients with TBI to insure that they receive the ...
- In the Studio: Head Injury Inspires New Melodic Mastodon Album
- I wanted a more melodic, easy-listening situation, and that definitely came from having head trauma.? Mastodon's last set, 2006's Blood Mountain, was their major-label debut, and it brought them up from the metal underground to a wider ...
Never give up
Inspiration and hope...
Is available
To those who seek it
Brain Injury Survivor's Guide
Dedicated to helping those who live with an injure more...1 point
Inspirational Poetry
Hopefully, it will be as special for you as it is more...0 points
Movies That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone
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Personal development
Express yourself
Information on head injuries
Over My Head: A Doctor's Own Story of Head Injury from the Inside Looking Out
Amazon Price: $16.61 (as of 10/07/2008)
List Price: $16.95
Head Cases: Stories of Brain Injury and Its Aftermath
Amazon Price: $16.50 (as of 10/07/2008)
List Price: $25.00
Head Injury: Pathophysiology and Management
Amazon Price: $275.00 (as of 10/07/2008)
List Price: $275.00
TBI Hell: A Traumatic Brain Injury Really Sucks
Amazon Price: $13.45 (as of 10/07/2008)
List Price: $14.95
Head Injury: The Facts (Oxford Medical Publications)
Amazon Price: (as of 10/07/2008)
List Price: $19.95
Messages from survivors and inspiration
On squidoo
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Brain Injury Survivor's Guide
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Dedicated to helping those who live with an injured brain. Our main website, braininjuryguide.org, has been SafeSurf rated and has received ICCS certification from iWatchDog. See our website's most recent award below.
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Inspirational Messages
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Find inspirational thoughts here Life is a wonderful gift but it is also challenging and sometimes heart-wrenching. We can all use a little motivation and inspiration from time to time to help us navigate the small and large hurdles we encounter on...
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Inspirational Quotes
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If you are looking for quick inspirations and daily inspirational sayings then look no further than Daily Quote Online for inspiration, wisdom, and motivation. Where can you find quick inspirations? How about in inspirational quotes, essays, stories...
This page at a glance
Just in case you want to go back and see something
- Caution...
- My experience...
- My experience continued
- Mental health
- Head injuries
- The importance of a sense of humor
- The memory problems
- Don't fall into this trap
- Ways of being
- The memory problems continue
- The daily struggle
- Feeling different
- Insomnia
- Doing research
- As I
- No matter what I do...
- The frustration of having a head injury; that not many understand.
- My best advice
- The frustration of being a writer and the memory problems that go with a head injury
- I will never give up
- I would write a book
- There is hope and...
- Help for people with head injuries
- More help from...
- Blogs
- Never give up
- Inspiration and hope...
- Personal development
- Express yourself
- Information on head injuries
- Messages from survivors and inspiration
- Viewer comments
Viewer comments
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ArtisticJen
Wow, I decided to check out your lenses and had no clue. Posted October 06, 2008 |
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ParentCoachGTD
Wow. I'm coming back to this one. Really interesting stuff. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. Posted September 16, 2008 |
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aj2008
Thank you for being so open and honest about what has happened to you. If you have not already done so then I am sure there are a few forums you could join that would benefit from you sharing your experience and your adding a link to this lens. 5*s Posted September 10, 2008 |
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debnet
Excellent lens! I have worked with a couple of children who have acquired brain injury and my heart goes out to anyone suffering from such a dibilitating life changing event. I went on a wonderful, informative training day in the UK run by CBIT. That stands for Childrens Brain Injury Trust. Well worth a peek at their UK based website. 5 stars for you ;) Posted September 09, 2008 |
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ebay-grandma
Very informative lens. So often we hear about the brain injury to an adult or teen - not to an infant. You are a fighter. You will keep on keeping on. Keep up the good work. Try a tape player or lots of note toward writing a book. I bet it would be a good one. Posted September 07, 2008 |
