Head-Injury-information-and-advice-from-a-survivor-living-life
Ranked #1,175 in Health, #13,641 overall
Living with the results of a traumatic brain injury
I was hit by a car when I was three years old, in 1974.
I have grown up all my life with the effects of the head injury.I am now 38 years old. When I was hit by the car, I was in a coma for two weeks afterwards.
I had to learn how to do everything all over again. The effects of the accident, left me with coordination and learning problems. As well as a life-long struggle with depression. I also still have a mild tremor in my hands.I am writing this in the hope that I will provide encouragement to people who have had head injuries and that they should never give up.
The only people who really know what the effects are, are those that live with them every day. Life is a learning and a growth experience. Just remember this, where there's a will, there's a way. I am constantly pushing the limits of my abilities and am therefore, constantly growing; both physically and mentally. Peace...Caution...
I have brain damage
My experience...
With a head injury
I have had trouble remembering things at times. I have also been unwilling to admit to it in the past. In my struggle to be normal and just like everyone else; I have not been willing to admit that I have certain problems like remembering things, being slower, talking slower, having a harder time understanding some things.
Sometimes, when being given instructions, I will have to ask for them to repeat or rephrase what they have said. My memory is frustrating because at times, it seems to be selective and can only remember the things that I am really interested in.
It's very frustrating to live with this condition. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it to do anything.
That's the depression kicking in again. It always kicks me in the ass for some reason. Plus, another one of the effects of the head injury is an inability to hold onto friendships for some reason. Sometimes all friendships feel like a dead end; but, then when I'm in some friendships I think, hey this isn't so bad. So, there is a lot of inner conflict as far as friendships go.
The only interaction that I have with other people these days are my family and the ones that I see in a 12-step program that I go to. I have heard that this is also an effect of the head injury.
My experience continued
With a head injury
My life is very lonely which I don't really like but, I have this inner contradiction as far as having friends goes. On one hand I feel lonely and would enjoy the company of others. But, on the other hand; I feel like a relationship or friends would take up too much of my time and would not allow me the time to do what I need to do.So, you can see that I'm always kicking myself in the ass for something. I think that I should be farther along in life than I am too. I might be too hard on myself but this is who I am and how I think.
When I was younger; I was terrified of loud noises. I would run and hide whenever I heard a motorcycle or a car with a loud muffler. I didn't stop running and hiding until I was about 15. That is also around the time that I stopped wetting the bed.
Growing up was hard and so was school. I was placed in special education classes because I was slower and had difficulty learning. The whole social atmosphere was difficult too.
I knew I wasn't like the other kids; so, my self-esteem suffered as a result. I always valued being honest with people but it got me into trouble.
You see, I have a dent in my forehead from where the car hit me. The other kids would ask me what happened and I would tell them that I got hit by a car.
A lot of times they would look at me like I was stupid or call me stupid and I would be ostrocized. It's hard enough just to try to get to know yourself when you're young but, this just adds extra pressure.
Mental health
At a young age
At the age of 8, I was suicidal. For a long time the only thing that I could think about was dying. Not a great problem solving skill, I know. Every time a problem would come up, I would automatically start thinking about suicide again. It's hard to plan for any kind of a future when you are thinking about dying all the time.
As I tried to go through school and make friends; it was a very hard thing for me. I was shy and quiet, very quiet. Sometimes, the other kids would come up to me and make fun of me because I never said anything to anyone. And to be honest, I felt like I didn't have anything to say.
There would be times when I was invited to a party but I didn't go because I was so scared of people. I was afraid of everything and everybody. Plus, I really had to get to know a person before I could trust them. I was scared of saying something stupid in social settings; so, I wouldn't say anything at all.
Growing up, I had very bad self-esteem. I always thought of myself as a loser and I suffered greatly as a result. It's frustrating to try to function socially when sometimes all you do is say stupid things because you are trying to say something just to fit in or get a conversation started; when, in the end you come across looking like an ass because you are unintentionally, putting your foot in your mouth; if you know what I mean.
The importance of a sense of humor
Definitely a must have
I cannot stress enough how important it is to be able to laugh at yourself; as well as others. I know that there are times in life when you do need to be serious but, not all the time. I always try to feel things out with what I call my mental radar or my intuition. As a result of this, I'm able to enjoy myself most of the time. Sure, there are times when I struggle; just like every human being on Earth. You see, I suffer from this condition called," being human. The memory problems
Drive me crazy
The constant struggle with memory is something that continues to plague me. I do have tools to use; like post-it notes, organizers, and notes on the refrigerator. I admit that I do use refrigerator magnets a bit. I also have three different calenders with stuff written on them to help me remember. I, often times have to cross off the days on the calender as I go, just so I can remember what day it is. Don't fall into this trap
It will keep you trapped every time
Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of asking yourself what you would be like if the accident never happened. Focusing on that is pointless because what's done is done. So, deal with it. I know, it's not a very nice thing to say but, it's reality. I don't know how many years I wasted by just staying in self pity. It's impossible to set any kind of goals in that mind set; let alone achieve them. Always be the optimist because the pessimist always loses. Those are my words of wisdom. I know this from experience; hard life experience. Believe me; if you do things the easy way, it is a lot better. Ways of being
In a positive frame of mind
The depression problems...
Have led to hospitalizations
So far in my life, I have been hospitalized three times because of depression. The first time was in 1997 when I was unemployed for a period of time. I had gone through a relationship that turned bad and life became too much to bare. I wound up talking to the crisis hotline for a while and one night I just couldn't get off the phone because I was in such misery. Eventually, the police showed up at my door and took me to the hospital.The second time was in 2005 when my marriage fell apart. It was weird, because for a couple of years I felt like it was crumbling and then one day it all came to a head and I couldn't take it anymore.
The third time I was hospitalized was in 2007 when I was in the middle of a relationship with a woman that just went bad.
During each of these hospitalizations, the medication that I was on had been changed. A lot of the time, I feel like a science experiment because the medication is often altered in the dosage amount or changed completely to a different medication. The whole point of this is that I'm trying and I think that should count for something.
The memory problems continue
Will they ever go away?
Ever read something and have it not register? This happens to me often. Then, I start to wonder why I even bother to read anything in the first place. Sometimes the memories are so scattered that it is hard to make sense of them. I guess it comes down to a matter of interest. I'm sure going to remember something I'm interested in, right? Not exactly, I will remember bits and pieces of it, most likely; but I will probably not remember every detail. I don't know if I have a problem with this because I had a head injury or if my problem is that I'm just a perfectionist.
The daily struggle
Of living life
As I am the one who has to live with myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year; I find myself alone, often. Sometimes I think that it's too often. A lot of times I think that I need friends and I would like to have friends but, on the other hand; I have a lot of stuff to do and I think that if I have friends that, that will get in the way of me getting anything done. I have lots of writing to do and who knows if that will ever get off the ground. Oh well... Feeling different
Than everybody else
Doing research
I persevere
Sometimes I wonder if it does any good whatsoever. I don't even know if I'm retaining what I'm reading sometimes; let alone, writing. Oh well, I guess it will all come out in the wash in the end. It's like the old saying goes; try, and try, try, try again. All of this trying when all I really want to do is get something accomplished
As I
continue...
On my merry way, I still have things to say. Hence, I have the need to type it here because I don't think that anyone would care because it is complete nonsense, anyways. But, it does serve the purpose of entertaining me which I think should be enough. But, what do I know? I'm just a human being, after all. After all is said and done; and profits are won, I'm still there. All alone and pondering on the meaning of life. Although, I did figure this out a long time ago. My purpose is to learn and grow and become a better human being and make the world a better place. Why is this so hard? No matter what I do...
I still have to deal with...
The frustration of having a head injury; that not many understand.
I sometimes wonder if I am retaining what I'm trying to learn. I know that I have the capacity to learn something but if it's something that I have no interest whatsoever in; it's just not going to happen. I will retain nothing. On the other hand; if I do have interest in it, I'll do quite well. This, is who I am. Is everybody like this or is it just me? I guess this is what I get by isolating myself but, I feel so uncomfortable in social settings.
Can I get some advice?
My best advice
Here it is
My best advice to anybody is never give up. You are the only one who can ever count yourself out. I've been a loner and outcast all of my life but I never give up. Just because my head injury happened at such a young age, I'll never know what I would've been like if it hadn't happened. Afterall, it's like what Wayne Dyer says in one of his audio programs; you can never would've, should've, could've done anything because that is all in the past. And unless someone comes up with a time machine to be able to go back and change things; I have to deal with what is, in life.
A head injury is a...
The frustration of being a writer and the memory problems that go with a head injury
The two don't seem to go together very well
The creative bug has been with me for years. By that I mean the urge and desire to write. This is not always easy to deal with. Sometimes I will just have to scrap a whole story because it is too hard for my mind to hold onto and remember all the many details. I have found a cure for that problem. That is to write shorter stories and imagine the details as vividly as possible. I guess that is part of the reason I like to write poetry. I think the reason I write it the way I do is because I have read a ton of self help books. Special accomodations had to be made
Because of my fear
I would write a book
But...
Articles that I've written on AssociatedContent
That are related to a head injury
- Living with the results of a head injury
- This is what it's like to live with a head injury.
- Living with the results of a head injury Part 2
- I continue to live with the results of a head injury.
- The struggle to live a normal life
- The struggle
There is hope and...
Help for people with head injuries
Lost and don't know where to turn to for help?
- Welcome to the BIAA's new website!
- The Brain Injury Association of America
- Brain Injury Resource Foundation
- Since 1982, the unique role of the Brain Injury Resource Foundation (BIRF) has been to direct families toward services and resources needed to handle the physical, emotional, mental, and relational challenges endemic to brain injury.
- The Brain Trauma Foundation: BTF Home
- Home of the Brain Trauma Foundation.
- Traumatic Brain Injury Resource Guide
- A traumatic brain injury resource guide with over 1,500 pages of material on brain injury, concussion, rehabilitation, long-term assisted living, research, pharmocology, support, multi-media products, and much more.
- Brain Injury Library
- Providing difficult to find information on head injury since 1985. Referrals, resources and free consultations.
More help from...
Blogs
About head injuries
- Brain Injury and Spinal Cord Injury Rights to be Limited by ...
- Brain Injury and Spinal Cord Injury Rights to be Limited by General Motors Bankruptcy Court. Brain and spinal cord injuries are two common results of automobile accidents. A large number of lawsuits have been filed against General ...
- The Official Patient's Sourcebook on Traumatic Brain Injury: A ...
- Allfreedownloadlinks.com is a free stuff site where you can download free ebooks, free softwares, free music, free Templates, free games, free tutorials & free graphics.
- Progesterone's Promising Protective Effect in Stroke and Brain ...
- Progesterone is widely underutilized in medicine. It also has great potential in anti-aging medicine. The study referenced below in stroke and brain injury.
- Traumatic brain injury is not “pretending”, Clementine Ford ...
- If you mock a kid with a disability; if you call the sequelae of traumatic brain injury ?pretending?; if you say that parents these days are no good because they won't kiss a broken skull with blood pouring from the nose and ears as a ...
Never give up
Inspiration and hope...
For those who seek it
Brain Injury Survivor's Guide
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Express yourself
Messages from survivors and inspiration
On squidoo
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Inspirational Quotes
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If you are looking for quick inspirations and daily inspirational sayings then look no further than Daily Quote Online for inspiration, wisdom, and motivation. Where can you find quick inspirations? How about in inspirational quotes, essays, stories...
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Inspirational Messages
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Life is a wonderful gift but it is also challenging and sometimes heart-wrenching. We can all use a little motivation and inspiration from time to time to help us navigate the small and large hurdles we encounter on our journey. Discover here a colle...
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Brain Injury Survivor's Guide
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Dedicated to helping those who live with an injured brain. Our main website, braininjuryguide.org, has been SafeSurf rated and has received ICCS certification from iWatchDog. See our website's most recent award below.
Head injury...
info
This page at a glance
Quick links
For this page
- Caution...
- My experience...
- My experience continued
- Mental health
- The importance of a sense of humor
- The memory problems
- Don't fall into this trap
- Ways of being
- The depression problems...
- The memory problems continue
- The daily struggle
- Feeling different
- Doing research
- As I
- No matter what I do...
- The frustration of having a head injury; that not many understand.
- Can I get some advice?
- My best advice
- The frustration of being a writer and the memory problems that go with a head injury
- Special accomodations had to be made
- I would write a book
- Articles that I've written on AssociatedContent
- There is hope and...
- Help for people with head injuries
- More help from...
- Blogs
- Never give up
- Inspiration and hope...
- Express yourself
- Messages from survivors and inspiration
- Head injury...
- Viewer comments
Viewer comments
julcal wrote...
I was mesmerized reading this lens. Every word of it. I have a brother who suffered a head injury at age 16. He lives a lonely, frustrating life and makes all the mistakes you advise people don't make.
thanks for the resources. I will email him this link. Please know that you have helped at least one person.
God bless
Posted July 01, 2009
kab wrote...
You rock, kingkurt2001. You rock because of your attitude; you rock because of your honesty.
Posted June 20, 2009
ChapelHillFiddler wrote...
Thank you for being my first fan! This lens hits home. My son was operated on for a very aggressive brain tumor in 2000 when he had just turned 13 and the 7-1/2 hour surgery, plus pretty severe radiation to the head and spine and 1-1/2 years of heavy chemotherapy, have left him with problems rather similar to yours. He fell apart in his third year of college and has been home, working at a grocery store and working with a life coach, trying to figure out how to make the best of his odd combination of gifts and disabilities. Hang in there, and thanks for writing this.
Posted June 17, 2009
MyCar wrote...
I read every word of your lens and I have to confess, I don't always. You're stronger than you realize to have made it this far. I have a bit of a love affair with cars but when I read a story like yours it makes you aware of the carnage they can cause.
Good luck my Squidoo friend.
Posted June 05, 2009
Swisstoons wrote...
Yours is an interesting and inspirational story, Kurt. I don't know if you've ever explored the subject of homeopathy...more specifically, the subject of the Schuessler Cell Salts, but you might find the literature on Natrum Sulph particularly interesting as regards head injuries...even those which occurred in the distant past. Information on the subject is available on the internet. All the best to you.
Posted April 29, 2009
Spook wrote...
You know what, you said, " all I really want to do is get something accomplished." Well this lens in my opinion is so great an accomplishment and I hope you can take some joy from that. You might be surprised how much better it is than people who have no head injuries. I hope you can take some pride in that. I wish you could have met some of my college mates but as you say one can't go back. I'm very suitably impressed and keep it up.
Posted April 25, 2009
BusyQueen wrote...
Just stopping in to say hello, kingkurt2001. As I told you before your story touches me so, I was just thinking how so many healthy people spend their whole life in bitterness and hurting others. Sad, huh? I have used your story many times to help others!
I do think of you often and what a prize you are to this world. God bless and keep up the Squidoo work! *smiles*
Posted April 18, 2009
HansMassage wrote...
I work with many clients that have brain injury and often other injuries that complicate the brain injury. For example distortion in the spin and pelvis often happen at the same time and stop the normal cranio sacral rhythm.
I wish I could help you personally but I am on the other side of Puget Sound.
Thank you for welcoming me to Squidoo
Hans Albert Quistorff, LMP
Antalgic Posture Pain Specialist
Posted April 11, 2009
mysticmama wrote...
excellent lens 5*...thank you so much for sharing...I have a cousin going through brain injury rehab right now...I would like to invite you to submit this lens to the Sharing Hearts Group
Posted March 30, 2009
MiaBellezza wrote...
Kurt, I think it's pretty normal to only retain/remember what interests you. The brain also functions as a filter - keeps what's necessary, important or interesting, and discards the rest. Maybe consider getting a small voice recorder and just talk little reminder blurbs into it and play it back later - I know I should get one - Yikes!
You might enjoy Steve Pavlina's blog for inspiration also. 5*
Posted March 29, 2009
Lisa_Manguso wrote...
Beautiful lens on a tough topic. One of my children had a brain tumor that caused TBI. She free of the tumor but struggles every day to make it through. Your lens has so much good information. This is hard to talk about and you did a fantastic job with it! Stay strong.
Posted March 29, 2009
SharonHirschowitz wrote...
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. It's refreshingly honest and I respect your perseverance. It's always good to learn from each other
Posted March 02, 2009
Ramkitten wrote...
I rarely read a lens all the way through, but this one I did. Thank you for sharing your story and such personal thoughts and feelings. Very well done.
Posted February 22, 2009
OneFootPutt wrote...
Great job once again...more people in this world need to read your words. Welcome to Need to Know..Yearn to Learn
Posted February 16, 2009
jacquelinestone wrote...
I love your attitude, Kurt. NEVER give up!!!
Blessings to you. :)
Posted January 12, 2009
BabyCakesx7 wrote...
Hi, my mom sent me your lens.. So very uplifting. My Fiance was in a dirt bike accident and now has TBI. I read your lens to him and it really helped just to know that what he feels is a normal feeling for the injury he has. Thanks for sharing.. God Bless!!!
Posted January 02, 2009
BusyQueen wrote...
kingkurt2001, your lenses are great and thanks for sharing this story. I am sure your writing will touch and change many lives. Good job! 5 ***** and yes, you are a king! Keep believing!
Posted January 01, 2009
getbackup wrote...
5 stars!! Thanks for being so honest & sorry about the struggles you've endured. It do think struggles make us great people, but it still hurts. My son has a lot of memory problems & trouble learning. I had a very difficult pregnancy & birth & he's being tested this year. A lot of what you said sounds familiar & what I see with him. God Bless you & you're an inspiration. I know it's hard to stay positive, I have that problem also, just from being a sensitive & caring person. There are others that do care about you. The mean people can just go away! Haa ha! That's what I say. : )
Posted December 16, 2008
eclecticeducation wrote...
Wow! It sounds like you have been through a lot. It's a very brave thing to do, to write this lens. I really hope it will be an inspiration for others that have this problem. 5*
Posted December 12, 2008
sparklenz wrote...
You are a really brave guy, I love that you won't let circumstances stop you expressing yourself and your creativity. Plus you offer so much encouragement to others, very cool.
Posted December 01, 2008
stargazer00 wrote...
Thank you for sharing this with us. Your lens is very readable. Concerning the book..I say go for it!
Posted November 30, 2008
bgamall wrote...
Well there is nothing wrong with this lense. I did not suffer from a head injury but not everyone can remember everything they read or experience. My daughter has a brilliant memory but it can be a drag, and it can be a burden. She can remember some scenes of movies word for word. I could never do that. You are coherent, logical, organized.
You are doing pretty well. I have a son who has more brainpower than the average person. I am his dad and never had his brain power. Eric could answer flash cards without hesitation, understood multiplication when he was 6 and solved the Legend of Zelda at age 7, and he ended up getting an MBA in international economics at age 22, one of the youngest MBA's ever.
So, some have great gifts while most of us do not have that kind of power. That does not mean we are failures, as God grants gifts as he chooses. My view is that if you can paraphrase a lot of what you read you are doing just fine, so don't beat yourself up! Just keep making lenses!
Posted November 26, 2008
beeobrien wrote...
Thanks for sharing your experiences and perspective. You've told this in a most personal way. Well done!
Posted November 17, 2008
spirituality wrote...
Thanks for sharing that. I bet writing about it helps at least a bit. Good luck.
Posted November 10, 2008
ArtisticJen wrote...
Wow, I decided to check out your lenses and had no clue.
When I was 8, I was thrown from a horse and have suffered ever since. I have migraines that last for days and meds don't touch. I suffer severe depression. And have become the queen of post it notes (it's one of the ways I remember things).
Sorry for my rambling. I just want you to know you're not alone.
Jen
Posted October 06, 2008
ParentCoachGTD wrote...
Wow. I'm coming back to this one. Really interesting stuff. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences.
Posted September 16, 2008
aj2008 wrote...
Thank you for being so open and honest about what has happened to you. If you have not already done so then I am sure there are a few forums you could join that would benefit from you sharing your experience and your adding a link to this lens. 5*s
Posted September 10, 2008
debnet wrote...
Excellent lens! I have worked with a couple of children who have acquired brain injury and my heart goes out to anyone suffering from such a dibilitating life changing event. I went on a wonderful, informative training day in the UK run by CBIT. That stands for Childrens Brain Injury Trust. Well worth a peek at their UK based website. 5 stars for you ;)
Posted September 09, 2008
ebay-grandma wrote...
Very informative lens. So often we hear about the brain injury to an adult or teen - not to an infant. You are a fighter. You will keep on keeping on. Keep up the good work. Try a tape player or lots of note toward writing a book. I bet it would be a good one.
Posted September 07, 2008
SemperFidelis wrote...
Inspirational lenses such as this one is evidence you are well on your way in the healing process KingKurt!
Blessed by a Squid Angel today! :)
Colleen ~ www.squidoo.com/squid-angel
Posted August 30, 2008
mulberry wrote...
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your thoughts on your head injury. There are millions out there with similar problems and you are helping them by this sort of thing...you have a lot to offer; educating some people and inspiring others. Best of luck to you!
Posted August 21, 2008
Pastiche wrote...
So many people don't realize that a TBI never ocmpletely heals - it's with the survivor for the rest of his/her life. Kudos to you for celebrating your life and helping others to understand that the little things we take for granted can be monumental for TBI survivors. Keep on ...
Posted August 15, 2008
Sir_James wrote...
I am encouraged by what you have wrote here. We all go through struggles in our lives. Some of us more than others. I do feel that from what I have read, you continue on in a 'forward' motion instead of living the past. While it is good to remember what we have done. We must always press on forward. I believe that there are greater things for all that suffer yet press on. You are one of those. I am thrilled to tell you to keep on moving forward.
You are an inspiration to those of us who are not prepared to tell our story.
gl
Posted May 18, 2008
MaryO wrote...
Your honesty is humbling, but your poetry is uplifting. I hope a lot of people get the chance to hear or read it.
There is a guy who has come to one of the writing groups I belong to who was in a car crash as a teenager and was also in a coma for . . . a while. I don't remember how long right now. His name is Jason Deierlein and he wrote a book called, Return From A Comatose Mind. His account of his fight back is harrowing at times, but ultimately uplifting. He, also, has some lingering movement problems and speech problems, but his mind, like yours, is very sharp. Please visit his website (jasondeierlein.com) or you can e-mail him (jasondeierlein@hotmail.com). He's a really great guy and you two have much in common.
Keep writing,
Mary O
Posted March 29, 2008
by kingkurt2001
