How do I deal with my life during a break-up?
There are many questions about how to keep a relationship together, and what you could do to improve your relationship. What about when you are just done with the relationship. How do you move on? Below you will find helpful tips to help you move on with your life. Also there will be reasons and explanations as to why some people do the things they do, such as cheating and abuse.
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Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst...
Before entering into a relationship, you should always hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Here are some helpful tips to keep your heart from completely breaking, and keep your sanity in tact.
Never completely open yourself up on a first or even third date. That leaves you vulnerable, and also gives the other person to much information about you. You never know if that person is actually going to stay with you, and if s/he doesn't than you don't want that person to go spread rumors about you.
Don't automatically trust someone. You should keep a small guard up, especially if you go on a blind date. You don't know if that person is secretly a serial killer, or a rapist.
Don't ever assume that you will be with a person for the rest of your life. (Especially if you've only been dating for 1-2 months. That is not long enough to actually know a person and form an actual bond. You may feel like you are in love with a person by the end of 2 months, but there's always the possibility that the feeling could only be lust.
Take things slow. Don't move to quickly for two reasons. When you let your mind wander into the future you set yourself up to get hurt. You don't know if the person you are thinking of is thinking of you too. Also moving to fast can scare people away.
Don't give up who you are to be with someone. You will always be who you are deep down inside, and if you give that up you will eventually feel lost and start to resent the person that you gave yourself up for.
Look at the beginning of a relationship as a "probationary period." It's kind of like courting. Try to get to know someone pretty well before you even think about using the "L" word.
I know that there are many things you shouldn't do listed here, but I am certain by utilizing the things listed above you will save yourself a lot of heartache.
The last tip I want to leave you with before moving on to other things is always remember that when you put yourself out there, there is always the chance of you getting hurt. Always remember that, and that you only have so much control over that.
Why do Relationships End?
Compatibility is a big reason. When two people don't get along or don't have much in common the relationship usually takes a negative turn. I know they say "opposites attract" which is entirely true, but if you have nothing in common you soon run out of things to do together. It makes it harder to spend time together because it becomes boring. Make sure that the person you want to be with has some similar interests.
Cheating is another big topic these days. I will go into further details about this later on down the page.
Abuse is something else I will get more detailed about.
Boredom, which kind of runs hand in hand with compatibility.
Sexual compatibility, maybe you both just get bored in the bedroom, but neither is willing to speak up. Instead of fixing the problem you let it build up until you finally shut down and not longer want to be involved. Which could potentially lead to cheating.
Lies, if you are in a relationship honesty is very important. Even if you think you'll never get caught lying, you will. Karma always comes around and you will get caught.
Communication, which could also fall into the compatibility area. If you both have nothing interesting to talk about the relationship soon becomes boring. To steer clear of this problem make sure that you both do things separate from one another every now and then so you both have interesting things to talk about.
I will be adding to this list as time goes on, and surveys are done, but for now I hope that is helpful. I hope that it helps you see more clearly as to why some relationships end and helps you to fix those problems if you are experiencing them now.
Cheating
First you must realize that if you are or have been cheated on that was not your fault. Everyone is responsible for his/her actions and choices. There are ways to prevent getting cheated on, but there are no guarantees.
Here are some reasons people cheat on other people:
Boredom
Lazy sex-life
Control
Jealousy
Spite
Fantasy
Thrill
In order to prevent this from happening to you, you should make sure that your significant other feels that they are secure in their relationship with you. You should also do things to make not only your sex-life exciting but your everyday life as well.
You can find lots of ideas to spice up your romance here!
Moving On...
Okay so lets say you've put everything you have to give in a relationship and it just doesn't work out. Now you are feeling miserable, depressed, and lonely. How do you move on from the heartache?
I am not going to tell you it's easy, but it is do-able.
I want to remind you of one important fact before going any further, you lived without him/her before and you will do it again. It is not the end of the world. You are still going to wake up tomorrow and eat your cheerios just like the day before and the day before that. Your life is not over! You are still you and no one can take that away from you.
Having said that, I know the pain is extreme. Do not let yourself sit idly by while the person that ended the relationship is moving on and being happy. Go out. Date. Call your friends and go clubbing, or bowling, or whatever it is that you do to have fun.
Do not let your mind wander, and keep it busy. If you find yourself thinking about your ex change those thoughts. Think about anything, a color, an evil cupcake, anything except your ex. Thinking about them will only make you more depressed.
There are many things that you could do to keep your mind occupied. I will give you some ideas to make things easier on you.
Watch a movie
Clean your house
Go for a run
Go for a walk
Go hiking
Write
Draw
Read
Shopping
Skating
Bowling
Get out there, meet new people. If a relationship is meant to be, it will be. If not you will meet someone else! You can't meet that person if you just sit around moping at home.
Bottom Line
I will leave you with these thoughts.
You will survive. You will still wake up tomorrow and eat your cheerios.
You will meet someone else, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there! Go meet that special someone you've been waiting for!









