Helping Children Deal with Grief
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How to Help Your Child Grieve by Candy Arrington
Grandpa Joe has terminal cancer. Great-aunt Susie is in the nursing home hospital ward. Your child's classmate just died in a car accident. Terrorist attacks and reports of wars fill the evening news.
Death is an ever-present fact of life, yet even adults face it only with difficulty. Here are some tips to help your children through the grieving process.
* Teach that death is part of life. Parents often avoid talking about death in an effort to protect children from unpleasantness. Instead, look for teachable moments. Wilting flowers, changing seasons or the death of a family pet provides an opportunity to show death as a part of life. Visit elderly friends or relatives to show children that aging is normal. Children will accept and confront death if adults allow it.
* Be honest. Present the information in a straightforward manner with age-appropriate information by explaining, "Granddad died last night." Avoid saying, "He went to sleep" or "He's gone away." These terms leave children wondering if they will die when they go to sleep or if the person is coming back.
* Don't delay telling about a death. Delaying can do more harm than good. If you wait, someone else may tell your child or he will overhear it in conversation. Learning the news from you is less frightening.
* Answer questions. Some children are satisfied with the facts. Others will ask a multitude of questions. Allow questions and answer them, even admitting when you don't have the answer.
* Recognize fears. Death can be a scary concept for children. If your child expresses fear about seeing the body or going to the funeral, don't force the issue. Comfort and reassure your child following a death of somebody he knows.
* Let them see you grieve. Children need to know that grieving is acceptable. Allow children to see you cry. Emotional pain is part of losing a loved one.
* Cherish the memories. Continue to talk about the loved one who died. Look through photo albums, talk about funny things the deceased said or reminisce about pleasant experiences.
Children take their cues from us and model their reactions accordingly. Show them that death and grief are parts of life.
Copyright © 2005 Candy Arrington. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Death is an ever-present fact of life, yet even adults face it only with difficulty. Here are some tips to help your children through the grieving process.
* Teach that death is part of life. Parents often avoid talking about death in an effort to protect children from unpleasantness. Instead, look for teachable moments. Wilting flowers, changing seasons or the death of a family pet provides an opportunity to show death as a part of life. Visit elderly friends or relatives to show children that aging is normal. Children will accept and confront death if adults allow it.
* Be honest. Present the information in a straightforward manner with age-appropriate information by explaining, "Granddad died last night." Avoid saying, "He went to sleep" or "He's gone away." These terms leave children wondering if they will die when they go to sleep or if the person is coming back.
* Don't delay telling about a death. Delaying can do more harm than good. If you wait, someone else may tell your child or he will overhear it in conversation. Learning the news from you is less frightening.
* Answer questions. Some children are satisfied with the facts. Others will ask a multitude of questions. Allow questions and answer them, even admitting when you don't have the answer.
* Recognize fears. Death can be a scary concept for children. If your child expresses fear about seeing the body or going to the funeral, don't force the issue. Comfort and reassure your child following a death of somebody he knows.
* Let them see you grieve. Children need to know that grieving is acceptable. Allow children to see you cry. Emotional pain is part of losing a loved one.
* Cherish the memories. Continue to talk about the loved one who died. Look through photo albums, talk about funny things the deceased said or reminisce about pleasant experiences.
Children take their cues from us and model their reactions accordingly. Show them that death and grief are parts of life.
Copyright © 2005 Candy Arrington. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Helping Children Say Goodbye
Sympathy Gifts for children can be hard to find. We have designed this special comfort kit to help children work through their feelings of grief. We have included a bright and colorful stationary set for a child to journal their feelings. They can even choose to send a letter to the person they have lost which will help them express their feelings. Saying Goodbye is an award winning children's grief book which teaches children about death, a concept they may not fully understand. Lastly, a tree planting kit will help them memorialize their loved one. This wonderful gift can be added to any of our sympathy gifts to offer comfort to the entire family.Features
* Teddy Bear
* Saying Goodbye Children's Book
* Writing Paper
* Stickers
* Envelopes
* Coordinating Folder
* Plant A Tree Kit
* Animal Crackers
Sympathy Gifts
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Gifts for Children who are Grieving
As parents we tend to know what to say to adults who have lost a friend or parent. However when it comes to children we are sometimes at a loss for words. I'm sorry for your loss just doesn't seem to cut it for our little ones.There are some things we can do to help our children deal with loss. At the same time it will help us grieve too.
Write in a journal together. If your child or friend can not write themselves, or finds comfort writing with someone sit down and write together. Help them express their memories their sadness and their concerns. It doesn't take a lot of effort to get kids to start talking. As they ask questions you can do your best to answer them. It is okay to not have all the answers and it is okay to tell them you are sad too. These simple responses can have healing effects on both of you.
If writing is not your thing, help them make a memory box. Maybe there are pictures of gifts that the deceased one has given them. Special toys or clothing can be added to their memory box. To start, find a large shoe box and decorate it with papers, maybe their favorite color or their friends favorite color. Add stickers that help them to remember who their loved one was. If a mom, maybe flowers or if a dad maybe some tool stickers. Ask them what they think their loved one would want them to have to remember then by. They can draw pictures, add notes and special mementos to their box. Add a journal for older kids and pictures for younger kids. This gives children a way to express their hearts.
Another special gift you can give children is a memory quilt. Seek permission to have some of the deceased ones clothing, jeans, shirts etc. Cut them into 6x6 squares and make the child a simple memory quilt. Directions are Here. Not only with this be a treasured gift in the years to come but will wrap them up in the love they need.
Important!
The Most Important Thing
Everyone deals with grief differently and your child is no different. It's okay to show your own feelings and share how sad you are. Your child may say things that are inappropriate, but remember they are learning how to show grief and sadness. Gently correct and help them to put their feelings into words.
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Planet Gift Baskets
June 13th, 2009
After the death of a loved one there is much grief. Adults and children respond to that grief differently. Younger children may view the death as temporary or reversible. They do not grasp the finality of death. School age children begin to view death much like adults but do not feel it can happen to them or someone they love. Because children view death differently than adults they should never be forced to attend a funeral if they are scared to go. Let them deal with the death on their own terms such as drawing a picture, writing a letter or making a scrapbook.
Older children tend to feel grief more like adults. Let them know that their feelings are normal and that anger is natural. These types of feelings may come out in unexpected ways such as hyper activity, insomnia, nightmares and other behaviors not usual for their persona. Realize that these behaviors are grief related. Try to spend as much time as possible with the child and be there for them when they need it.
Some children may show signs of difficulty dealing with a death for an extended period of time. They may experience depression, acting younger than their age, withdrawal and mood swings. If this is the case for an extended period of time, professional help may be needed.
View More Articles at Planet Gift Baskets Sympathy and Grief Resource Center
After the death of a loved one there is much grief. Adults and children respond to that grief differently. Younger children may view the death as temporary or reversible. They do not grasp the finality of death. School age children begin to view death much like adults but do not feel it can happen to them or someone they love. Because children view death differently than adults they should never be forced to attend a funeral if they are scared to go. Let them deal with the death on their own terms such as drawing a picture, writing a letter or making a scrapbook.
Older children tend to feel grief more like adults. Let them know that their feelings are normal and that anger is natural. These types of feelings may come out in unexpected ways such as hyper activity, insomnia, nightmares and other behaviors not usual for their persona. Realize that these behaviors are grief related. Try to spend as much time as possible with the child and be there for them when they need it.
Some children may show signs of difficulty dealing with a death for an extended period of time. They may experience depression, acting younger than their age, withdrawal and mood swings. If this is the case for an extended period of time, professional help may be needed.
View More Articles at Planet Gift Baskets Sympathy and Grief Resource Center
Gift Baskets for Children
To fill a sympathy gift basket for a child who is grieving one might include a teddy bear or cuddly stuffed animal, a fleece blanket and some simple snacks that might help them to eat. Nutrition is important for any one who is grieving and just like adults kids can sometimes not feel like eating or simply forget. Including snacks that are easy to open as well as offer a lot of nutrition will not only be appreciated by the parents or caretakers of the grieving child but also by the child.Other things to consider including in a gift basket for children are:
crayons and a coloring book
puzzles
simple games
a scrapbook kit
memory jewelry like a locket for girls
picture key chains
picture frames
blank books with starter sentences to help them write about their feelings
picture books that deal with death and loss
gift certificates to encourage getting out of the house
music certificates
a disposable camera
note cards and stamps
Helping Children Grieve
Written by Ruth P. Arent
A caring and compassionate guide for understanding grief from the child's point of view Most children, throughout their beginning years of life, have known a continuum of order, stability and happiness. Suddenly, when a child experiences profound loss, their world is shaken and they become unsure about all they have known, expected or assumed. Ruth P. Arent present us with direct, yet sensitive guidelines and suggestions for helping in the recovery and healing of children, from the very youngest of age up to teenagers and beyond. For parents, caregivers and friends of grieving children, Ruth extends a bold yet gentle hand to hold, with her encouragements, insights, optimism and empathy for all concerned, during this most painful of life's experiences. Many exercises, examples and suggestions will help the reader to nurture and assist the bereaved child. Through the patience and perspective, it is the hope of the caregiver to return the child to a renewed level of trust, spontaneity and hope for a future of wellness.
by PlanetGiftBaskets
I'm a busy mom of three. I home educate all three of them and work part time from home.
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