Helping Children Develop Auditory Processing Skills

Auditory processing is the ability to understand and accurately interpret spoken language. Many people refer to this skill set as "listening skills."

When we speak to another person, we are sending a message. But the message can only be interpreted correctly if the person listening has strong auditory processing skills.

As a parent and a teacher, I know that there were times (more than I'd like to admit!) when children could hear what I was saying, but did not actually listen to or understand my message. So just hearing words being spoken is not enough!

Before jumping in with both feet to help your child improve his auditory processing skills, it may be helpful to complete a brief kindergarten readiness test that includes questions relating to auditory processing. The auditory processing section of a kindergarten readiness test will go over a variety of activities that require strong auditory processing skills so you can better assess your child's existing skill level.

If your child's auditory processing skills are not yet fully developed, consider working with your child on some kindergarten worksheets that focus on listening activities and games. After some practice, consider re-assessing your child to see if his auditory processing skills have improved.

You might be wondering about your own child's listening skills right now. Does he follow directions when you speak to him or does he seem to be in his own world? In my teaching experience (and my experience as a parent of three) I have found that in the vast majority of cases, poor listening is simply a bad habit.

When a child does not respond to a parent's first request (and how many kids do?), parents often subscribe to what appears to be the obvious solution - they repeat their request, sometimes several times, until they get the desired response from their child. On occasion, this is a useful tactic for parents. Perhaps their child did not actually hear the request, or maybe he was distracted and needs another reminder.

However, when repeating requests, directions or questions becomes the typical way you interact with your child, it may very well be that bad habits have developed. And I say bad habits (plural!) because both the parents and the child have developed a bad habit here. The adults have become accustomed to talking and talking and talking while their child has learned to ignore, ignore and ignore. Why should he stop and pay attention the first time when he knows that there will be many opportunities to hear the request. And the child may even have developed a "deaf ear" to all the chatter, which means that he has stopped paying attention to what is being said.

If you believe that your child has learned to "tune you out," sit down with him at a quiet time and in a quiet place. Let him know that both of you have developed a bad habit and you want to break it! Tell your child that you will make a request just one time, and you will expect him to listen and follow directions. Then, stick to your guns! Breaking bad habits is not easy and it takes real commitment and energy. But it will be well worth the effort in the long run.

As the parent, you will need to be ready to let consequences follow poor listening, since an abrupt correction of a bad habit is not likely. If and when your child fails to listen, allow appropriate consequence to ensue. The best consequences are called "natural consequences" because they occur without the parent doing anything at all. For example, if you call your child to the dinner table and he does not come, he will be left eating a cold meal alone at a later time.

Then there are appropriate and logical consequences that the parent chooses and delivers. In the "late for dinner" scenario, for example, the parent could let his child know before dinner time that his food will be left on the table for 3 minutes following the call to eat. After that time, the plate will be removed and the child misses a meal. In many cases, it is up to the parents to decide on a consequence. In this case, keep the consequence relevant, reasonable and doable.

Take the typical case of toys left strewn around the house. Tell your child where he needs to put his toys. If he does not comply, pick the toys up yourself and keep them in a box, away from your child, for a short, but specific time. Taking away all toys is not reasonable and promising never to buy another toy is really not doable. So think ahead about appropriate and logical consequences so that you are not caught in a moment of frustration and left bellowing out an improbable consequence.

It is important for parents to be strong here to break bad listening habits. If you go back to your old pattern of repeating or giving "second chances to listen," your child will not feel the need to break his habit. Once he realizes that consequences follow poor listening, he will tune in the first time you speak. And these good listening habits will serve him very well as he goes through school and though life!

More tips for improving a child's listening skills.

It's also important for you to be a good role model for your child when it comes to listening. When your child is speaking to you, stop what you are doing and give him your full attention. Look at him and even stoop down to his level so that he knows you are listening. Parents are busy and get quite good at multi-tasking. You may actually be listening as you continue to prepare dinner, for example, but your child does not know that. So when your child is talking, show him that his words are important and that listening fully is a priority. Children learn a lot by watching us, so be a good listener, too!

Playing games with your child that involve oral directions can help strengthen auditory processing skills.

- "Simon Says" - Your child must follow your directions, but only when you begin the sentence with the words "Simon says." Keep your child moving and the directions coming quickly to make the game exciting.

- "I Spy" - Give your child clues about something within viewing range. See how quickly he can guess what you are spying.

- Twenty Questions - Think of a person, place or thing and give your child up to 20 chances to ask questions that will help him guess the answer.

- "Red Light, Green Light" - One or more children line up at the back of an open space. The "policeman" calls out the words "red light" or "green light" with his back turned to the group. The group can only move forward when the policeman calls "green light" and must stop when they hear "red light." The policeman turns around when he says "red light" and any child caught still moving is out. The first to follow the directions and reach the policeman becomes the new policemen.

When your child draws in a coloring book by himself or herself, it is just a creative activity. But if you sit beside your child and add verbal directions, you'll create a fun activity that will help your child improve auditory processing skills.

For example, each time your child starts a new picture, give him directions such as "color the hat red and the dress blue" or "Give the dog 5 big black spots." As your child listens to your direction and colors the picture appropriately, he will be gaining valuable practice listening to -- and following! -- directions. Oftentimes, the sillier your directions, the more closely children listen. For example, try asking your child to color the dog blue or the sun green and see what kind of response you get!

- Stop your activity (washing dishes, stirring the soup, etc.) and turn to look at your child when you speak to him.

- Bend down so that you are eye-to-eye with your child when you are speaking to him. This will ensure that you have his attention and he will understand that what you are saying is important.

- Ask your child to repeat your directions before sending him off to complete the task. In this way, you know that he has heard you and interpreted your words accurately.

- Read picture books to your child and discuss the plot and story line with him after you finish reading. Ask him questions about what happened in the story.