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Having a High IQ

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What is it Like to Have a High IQ?

Hint: It's not all that great, really.....
I recently found out that I have a very high IQ: high enough to qualify for Mensa, the international high IQ society. I am relieved. I am relieved because I have always felt "different" and actually thought that there might be something "wrong" with me.

Just because you have a high IQ, it does not mean that you will be rich or famous, or even happy. It does mean that you probably feel different than most other people. And, if there is no one else to help you to understand that and to guide you, you may feel confused and lonely. Yes, really!

Trying to Understand

My goal in writing this is to help people understand how it can feel to have a high IQ. I feel that it is very confusing to the general population. People think of it as "being smarter" and, therefore, being "better" in some way. This is not the case, as I will explain. I also want to help others who have found that they have a high IQ and are still trying to figure "it" all out. This will be an adventure and an exploration for me as I share with you what I am discovering that is true for me.

Here is a long phrase someone used recently to search for information on the web. Their search landed them here on this page. How very accurate this statement is!

"people with a high iq often find themselves a little lonely among people who just don't think in the same ways. people with high iq's are in no way better than others. they just think in different ways"

There is No Perfection

High IQ does NOT make you perfect, or even close

One thing I know is that your IQ is only part of who you are. It does not determine your wealth or your happiness. It does not make your life easier and it does present many challenges, especially if you don't know why you are different.

Many times in my life I have thought to myself, "I just want to be normal"! I felt so often unhappy, isolated and misunderstood. In my teenage years, I would stay up late at night gazing out the windows of our house and thinking, "Is there something wrong with me? Why can't I just live a 'normal' life? If I could only find someone who thinks like I do....".

You might have said to me, "But, there is no normal. Everyone is different. The idea of 'normal' is flawed". But, I would say to you, now, that when you think differently than most of those around you, when you see the world through an alternate lens, when you "see" even more than meets the eye, and no one else can understand you, you FEEL less than normal. People don't relate to you. Some may even scorn or laugh at you. And, it can stop you in your tracks. If you do not know what is happening and why, your self esteem can suffer and you can become paralyzed. You can fail to move forward. You can give up.

This is why I want to help others who are also dealing with having a high IQ. When only 2% or less of the population can think the way that you do, you DO feel different and if you do not know why, it can be hard to find your way. It may be that the way you need to steer your "boat" is much different than the way most others do it. You may need a guide to help you learn to navigate effectively.

Yes, Indeed, It Will Not Make You Wealthy

"If you're so smart, what aren't you rich?"

You Don't Have To Be Smart To Be Rich, Study Finds: From the archives of Ohio State University, this article reports on research that was done regarding the financial success of those with a high IQ versus those with average IQs. This research, conducted by Jay Zagorsky, supports my claim that having a high IQ does NOT make you rich. So, to all of you out there who have asked me, "If you're so 'smart' why aren't you rich?", this will back me up.

A Perfect Description of Having a High IQ

from the late author and philanthropist, Pearl Buck

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:
A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.
To him...
a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating."
-Pearl Buck-

There is so Much Beauty in the World

I want to take it all in...

...roll it around in my mind, hold it, know it, understand it, relish in not understanding it, and....I want, so much, to help others see it, too.

Characteristics of Gifted Adults

From the Gifted & Creative Services of Austrailia

Here is a list of characteristics of gifted, or high-IQ adults. I definitely have felt and do experience everything on this list. You will see that it's about much more than "being smart". It is really more about being highly aware and able to easily see connections between ideas, events, people and on and on.

This list is from the Gifted & Creative Services of Austrailia, which offers information on the experience of being a gifted child or adult. Click on the link in the following section for expanded info from this group.

perfectionistic and sets high standards for self and others
has strong moral convictions
feels outrage at moral breaches that others seem to take for granted
is highly sensitive, perceptive or insightful
is a good problem solver
has unusual ideas or connects seemingly unrelated ideas
thrives on challenge
fascinated by words or an avid reader
learns new things rapidly
has a good long-term memory
is very curious
has an unusual sense of humor
has a vivid and rich imagination
feels overwhelmed by many interests and abilities
loves ideas and ardent discussion
can't switch off thinking
is very compassionate
has passionate, intense feelings
has a great deal of energy
feels driven by creativity
needs periods of contemplation
searches for answers in life
feels out-of-sync or out-of-step with others
feels a sense of alienation and loneliness

More High IQ Traits

The following are links to website pages which offer good lists of or comments on the personality characteristics and common life experiences of gifted adults, or people with a high IQ. I can identify with them all. Note how there are several I've already suspected and mentioned in regard to feeling lonely, misunderstood and isolated. I don't think most people realize that these are major issues for those of us who have a high IQ.

Gifted & Creative Services of Austrailia: Click this link to read more about the list included in the section above.
Characteristics of Gifted & Creative Adults: The list here is adapted from "Gifted Adults: Their Characteristics and Emotions" by Annemarie Roeper, and is included on the website of Lynne M. Azpeitia, M.A., a counselor from Santa Monica, CA.

The list begins..."Gifted adults differ intellectually from others and are more sophisticated, more global thinkers who have the capacity to generalize and to see complex relationships in the world. Gifted adults have a heightened capacity to appreciate the beauty and the wonderment in our universe...."
Click on the link above to visit and to read the entire list.
How Being Gifted Means Being Different: Oh my, this is a wonderful essay written by Rebecca Trotter back in 2008 on the site called Word Press. Here is a quote lifted from the essay, but please click on the link and read the entire piece.

"This fundamental different-ness combined with a lack of insight into the reality of the how other people's minds work underlies a lot of the social difficulties which highly intelligent people often experience. Unfortunately, the social problems that unusually intelligent people, particularly kids, commonly experience are usually pinned on some failure on their own part." ~ Rebecca Trotter

Expression of Intelligence: Men vs Women

A Highly Intelligent Woman Speaks Out: This is a link to a very interesting opinion piece by Amy Sundberg on her blog The Practical Free Spirit. She talks about how men and women are very different in the way that they display their intelligence.

When and How Did I Learn of My High IQ?

Because I was having a bit of trouble with my memory, my doctor referred me to a specialist for psycho-neurological testing. The tests revealed that my memory was normal, however, we had to check my IQ because memory correlates to IQ. In other words, if you have a high IQ, your memory should be similarly high.

The testing revealed a very high IQ and indicated that I was, indeed, having problems with my memory, after all. My memory should have been above normal to correspond with my IQ. It also showed that I did not have any degenerative neurological illnesses. That was good news. And, through a process of elimination, it was determined that lack of sleep was the culprit in terms of memory issues.

I do remember my mother telling me, when I was in high school, that I had a high IQ, but I never heard any numbers and it never occurred to me that it might be something to pay attention to. In fact, I had forgotten all about it. Now I knew about my high IQ and I wondered what, at this point in my life, it might mean to me and what I could do with it.

Mensa International

A Resource for IQ Testing and more

Here is one of the sources for determining your IQ. Mensa, the well-known international high IQ society, offers their own IQ test which is administered, in person, by one of their representatives.

Mensa International: In order to belong, you must provide proof that you have taken a qualified IQ test and achieved a specific IQ score, or higher. There are several different tests which can be used as proof and each one has slightly different scoring. As I mentioned, you may also arrange to take, in person, a test administered by Mensa for purposes of qualifying you for membership.

Is It Really Good to Be Gifted?

Unique challenges of the highly gifted

I can track what people who view this page have searched for in order to find it. And, well, guess what...most of those searches have read as follows:

"children with high iq missing out on life"
"does high iq makes you feel less"
"very high iq problems"

Like me, it seems others have had a difficult time of it with their high IQ trait. Here is some information to help you understand what those difficulties can be and to learn how you can cope with them.

Optimal IQ and the Flipside to Giftedness, by David Palmer Ph.D: This interesting site has quite an array of information about raising a gifted child, and this particular article helps to explain, even more than I have already, just how challenging it can be to be "gifted" with a high IQ.
Misdiagnosis of the Gifted, an article for Mensa by Lynne Azpeitia, M.A. and Mary Rocamora, M.A.: People with a high IQ face many challenges and one of them is that it is easy to misunderstand and misdiagnose a person who is gifted in this way. Because we make up only 2-3% of the population, getting correctly identified by psychotherapists and others as gifted is unusual. More often, our uniquely sensitive nature is misinterpreted for something else, resulting in a diminishment of self-understanding and self esteem.
Challenges for Gifted & Creative Adults, by Lynne Azpeiti: "Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults need: multiple sources of stimulation for their curiosity, talents and abilities; a safe environment in which they can fully be themselves; to feel understood, accepted, respected and valued by others; to understand themselves...."
Navigate to this page to read the remainder of this intriguing article written by Lynne Azpeitia, a therapist in California who works with gifted adults.

A New Book

The Gifted Adult: A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Everyday Genius(tm)

by: Mary-Elaine Jacobsen

Amazon Price: $6.99 (as of 06/01/2012)
List Price: $15.95

From the book jacket: "Demystifying what it means to be a gifted adult, this book offers practical guidance for eliminating self-sabotage and underachievement, helping Everyday Geniuses and those who know, love, and work with them to understand and support the exceptional gifts inherent in these unique personality traits."

Oh my gosh. This looks to be a great source for understanding high IQ. I ordered it and have started my reading. The beginnings of a review are posted below.

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Book Review

The Gifted Adult

I received my copy of The GIfted Adult and have started to read it. I love some of what I am reading and much of it confirms what I have been experiencing my whole life. For instance, being overwhelmed by lots of sound and activity is a common occurrence for me, but I hadn't realized that it might be due to having a high IQ. Now it makes sense. With a higher IQ, the book explains, you tend to have a greater sense of awareness and notice many more things than most people. What might be perceived as fun for the people you are with, can, instead, be overwhelming for you. It's an example of times when I felt like there was something wrong with me. It's great to have an explanation now.

There is, included in the book, a self-scored test which you can take to determine what some of your personal characteristics are. I do feel that the test is too simplistic and too dependent upon you being very self-aware and very honest with yourself.

I'm still reading, though!

Mensa Art

For Artists with a High IQ as well as those interested in their work

I am a visual artist, so I was very pleased to find this site. It offers a look at Mensa members who are fine artists, and includes a profile of each artist with a gallery of their work. Exciting, huh? Check it out. Work is offered for sale, as well.

The Official Home Page of Mensa's Art Lovers: Members of Mensa share their passion for art on this website. There is art for expression, art for investment, and art for art's sake.

Why So Sensitive?

It's All About a High Level of Awareness

Do you often ask yourself why you have to be so sensitive? Do you introvert yourself in order to avoid feeling overwhelmed or frustrated? Do people often tell you to just "get over it"? Being extra-sensitive goes hand-in-hand with having a high IQ. It can be very disorienting. Until you understand it better, it can be downright confusing. But, once you understand this as a trait, you can try and turn it into an advantage.

I can remember telling one of my bosses that, within the company, I was like the canary in a coal mine. I knew this was true. I would tend to be sensitive to and aware of a problem long before others. I wanted to help by sharing what I could so easily see. How presumptuous of me. She did not want to hear it. There were, indeed, big problems which finally surfaced and the business eventually had to be sold, but not before much discord and unhappiness for everyone.

At least I understood what was going on and was able to keep things in perspective. And, I "got out" before the changes took place.

Here is some information to help you better understand this trait.

Emotional intensity in Children with a High IQ: Here is an interesting article by Lesley K Sword of Gifted & Creative Services in Australia, about one of the least-understood traits of people with a high IQ: hypersensitivity. This particular piece focuses on children, but I find it is true for adults, as well.
Gifted Children: Emotionally Immature or Emotionally Intense?: And here is an even more explicit and appropriate article from the same person who wrote the one above, but each article has it's own merits.

Children and High IQ

High IQ Kids: Collected Insights, Information, and Personal Stories from the Experts

Amazon Price: $192.97 (as of 06/01/2012)
List Price: $19.95

Look what I found. I have not read this yet, but I am going to now and I will give you a report on it. It sounds as if it would be very interesting. Check back later for my review. I wish I had known, as a child, that I had such a high IQ.

Childhood Memories

Examples of how a child with a high IQ can feel

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, home alone with my mother and feeling bored, I decided to write some poetry. I remember that one of the poems was about a parrot. I wish I could read it now, but I destroyed it soon after I wrote it. I had shown it to my mother and she told me that I hadn't written it -- that I must have copied it from somewhere. I was bewildered and confused, feeling as if I had somehow done something wrong. It may sound odd that I would have that reaction, but I was young enough to not understand what was happening. I admired my mother and felt that I had disappointed her.

In 4th grade I made a 3-dimensional map of the US out of homemade play-doh-like clay for a class homework assignment. I carefully shaped all the states, including elevations, and added color. I worked very hard at it and had a great time doing it. I proudly took the map into class and my teacher failed me on the project. She told me that my mother must have made it for me and that I had cheated. I was very confused and I couldn't convince her otherwise. Even after my mother called her to complain, she still insisted that I couldn't have made it.

During classes in elementary school, when the teacher would ask the class a question, I always knew the answer, but was careful to not raise my hand. I didn't want to be different. Initially, I had felt that when no one else in class raised their hand, I must be wrong. If no one else knew, and if what I thought was the answer had come so easily and obviously to me, it must not be correct, but it always was. Eventually, I didn't want to draw attention to myself and I didn't want to get in trouble for always knowing the answers when none of my classmates did. Elementary school was very, very confusing for me.

Am I Good Enough, Smart Enough?

A confused and misunderstood mind can create a mental block which keeps you from achieving success.

The Trouble With Bright Kids - Heidi Grant Halvorson - Harvard Business Review: Business bloggers at Harvard Business Review discuss a variety of business topics including managing people, innovation, leadership, and more. Here Heidi Grant Halvorson cites research and writes about problems in self-esteem that can develop among intelligent young students.

Helping Gifted Children

I feel that the best kind of person to recognize a high IQ child is a high IQ adult. When I see and recognize a child with what I can see as a high IQ, and I know that they have no one helping them cope with it, my heart breaks a little.

I was intrigued to find this school which caters to profoundly gifted young people.

Davidson Academy of Nevada - Reno, Nevada: The Davidson Academy of Nevada is a free public school for profoundly gifted middle and high school students. Located at the University of Nevada, Reno, Davidson Academy students can develop their intellectual abilities at an appropriately challenging pace and access college courses when ready.

I am not personally familiar with this school, but found it in my search for information. If anyone has feedback on the Davidson Academy or other programs for gifted children, please post at the end of this article.

What You All Want to Know

...makes me feel sad

As I already mentioned, I am able to view the words people have typed into the search engines in order to find this page. They confirm what I have been experiencing in my life--that having a high IQ is not easy. Here are more of the phrases used in readers' search for information:

Does having a high IQ make you lonely?
Feeling isolated with high IQ
High IQ feeling different
Does having a high IQ make it hard to have friends?
How to cope with high IQ
How to feel normal with High IQ
Help for high IQ feeling lonely
Hard to communicate because of high IQ
Gifted adults misunderstood isolated
High IQ guide to living well
I just found out I have a high IQ
Gifted adults lonely misunderstood
Higher IQ higher standards in love
Vivid imagination high IQ
Self esteem in adults and IQ

Generally speaking, I find people will make jokes about my high IQ or feel threatened by it. Because of this, I hesitate to let others know about it. Most people have a preconceived idea about what it means to have a high IQ and it is nowhere near the truth. I hope that by writing this, there can be a greater understanding among those who read it. Please pass it on!!

Still Learning

Join me on my journey as I continue to learn more about myself and what having a high IQ is all about. Keep checking back for new material.

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And, give us your take on high IQ, giftedness, or this lens.

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what a life May 25, 2012 @ 7:20 pm | delete

Thank you for your open discussion here. I always felt different as a child and honestly still do although I am good at covering and am very social. When social events are over many times I worry and analyze everything I said. No one knows this not my mother or husband of 13 years. I now have a daughter who I think will test even higher than I do and I see her struggle. At 8 years old her teacher told me she will ask the class a question and say "Anyone but..." She is being put into gifted classes which I never had so I hope it helps but I still worry.
As for those that say why arent you rich? The thing is for me personally I love to learn something then lose interest. I started a company 7 years ago and when we reached close to 1 mil in sales I wanted to sale it, BUT my partner was determined we would get to the next level first. Like you I was the canary. I knew my interest could not hold out and now we are about 15% of where we were and my partner blames me. Yes it is my fault and yet I tried to warn. I wish others could understand me and not see me as a failure. In a way I feel like one because I am a jack of all trades but master of none in that I cant stay the course. I want to go back to finish my degree but the problem is I cant see myself staying interested in anything long enough after graduation to make the degree worth the cost.

Reply

njg May 26, 2012 @ 4:11 pm | delete

I can identify completely with your tendency to start a new thing, and once that's done, move on to the start the next."Jack of all trades", yes, and that is what the neuropsychologist told me: that I would be good at so many different things that it could be a detriment. We have wide interests, can see all the connections, are not satisfied with the surface details, and, once something is figured out, it's on to figure out the next. It's not just a matter of being bored with something either, is it? For me, if I'm not learning something, creating something or exploring new ideas, I actually can get depressed. I almost feel dead inside, as if I'm missing something--as if my mind is meant to be doing something that it's not. I'm with you. I guess we have to figure it out for ourselves and for each other. If you learn any coping tricks for this, let me know!

Reply

ZatDudeOnline May 22, 2012 @ 3:25 am | delete

This served as a wake-up call; as, often I have been misunderstood by family and friends due to my insistence on diving as deep into a subject being discussed. When others have left a subject, I continue to contemplate it in order to fully understand; then, once I feel confident enough to hit all aspects of the topic, I am accused of being the, "last at the racetrack." I have found the list given at the beginning to resonate the very best with my personality, as failure is truly death; thus, anything below an "A+" is as bad as being shot at point blank range with a shotgun. Often, I run from the pack, destined to be alone with my own thoughts which usually turn out to be more entertaining than straining myself by holding a normal conversation with others. Right now I am in college and have maintained a perfect 4.0; also, I maintain four blogs, a small photography business, and I continue to add more to my plate. If I have free time, if it's not spent in creative pursuits, I feel as though it was wasted time.

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JohannTheDog Apr 15, 2012 @ 7:43 pm | delete

This is so interesting....sharing with my Mum. She needs to know this stuff!

Reply

RealLifeServices Apr 4, 2012 @ 7:06 am | delete

Its a terrible strain being so intelligent!
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