High Value Communication Skills

You will get the most from this lens if you focus on the needs of different people rather than on their behaviors.

When you meet other people's needs, they will usually respond well to you. So, if you meet their needs, they will be more likely to focus and communicate logically with you. You improve the odds that you can connect with other people.

Remember that everyone (including you) is a blend of the four primary behavioral styles. For simplicity, this lens focuses on only the highest trait in each person's blend.

Beware of making absolute statements. In conversation, I say that people tend to_____, generally_____, or often do_____. In the interest of simplicity, I left most of those qualifying statements out of this lens.

So, read through this lens for an overview and then bookmark it for later reference.

I hope that you find value in this information, and that this brings more clarity and understanding to your life. I have also included a link list with links to some of my other related lenses.

For even more information to build better connections with other people, check the lenses that represent your secondary styles as well. (To get a thorough view of your behavioral style, complete a DISC personality test.)

Just for reference purposes, I have included the DISC Model overview here. If you're wondering about the validity of this information, take a look at the validation study.

For more detail see these lenses:

The DISC Model

Connecting With People

These people are like you in that they are task-oriented. They may be different from you in that they are fast-paced. They tend to focus on results more than the process.

Look for them to speak at a fast-pace and directly. Expect them to move fast and to make decisions quickly. They probably will not "beat-around-the-bush."

If you don't have much of this style, they may seem reckless to you. They are focused on results and often don't worry about the details of how things get done. They just want them done.

They need:

• Choices


• Challenge


• Control

These people are probably the most difficult for you to understand. They are outgoing (fast-paced) and they are people-oriented. They love to have fun and to interact with other people. You may see them as silly or unfocused.

Look for them to speak at a fast-pace and light-heartedly. Expect them to move fast and to make decisions quickly. They might not speak directly, and they may interact on a close, personal level by sharing stories or asking about your family.

Beware of your tendency to view them negatively just because they process information and interact in a different manner than you. They want you to like them.

They need:

• Recognition


• Approval


• Popularity

These people are like you in that they are reserved. They focus on relationships and feelings more than on tasks and data. They are different from you in that they are more people-oriented. They dislike direct confrontations and making quick decisions.

Look for them to speak rather slowly and softly. Expect them to use gentle gestures and to make decisions slowly. They like to take things one step at a time. Give them time to process and think.

They probably will not speak directly, and they may disengage if you overwhelm them with details and tasks.

They tend to value family and relationships above everything else. They may evaluate you based on how you treat others.

They need:

• Security


• Assurance


• Appreciation

These people are very much like you. They are reserved and task-oriented. They want data and facts not emotions and feelings.

Look for them to speak in a slower, monotone style. Expect them to move cautiously and to make decisions slowly. They may want more information and validating sources (websites, references, etc.) before making a decision. They tend to speak factually and in measured tones. They tend to ask lots of questions.

Beware of interpreting their questions as not trusting you. They just need information like you do.

They need:

• Quality Answers


• Value


• Excellence