HILARIOUS HOPS

Pubs have a colorful array of names ranging from the strange or weird to downright ridiculous.

Here's a sample of silly suds establishments:

-- Big Banana Slugs
-- Dew Drop Inn
-- Drift Inn
-- Elbow Room
-- Fox & Grapes
-- Frog & Parrot
-- Hen's Hoose
-- Hog Heaven
-- Frank & Stein (a beer & hot dog place)
-- O'Blivion's
-- Queen's Larder
-- Slap & Tickle
-- Slake & Whistle
-- Sweaty Betty's
-- Tongue 'n' Groove
-- The Ale & Alien
-- The Boar & Lyre
-- The Devil & The Deep Blue Sea
-- The Flatulent Guernsey
-- The Kat & What'-got-'is-Goat?
-- The Library
-- The Mucky Duck
-- The Pit & The Pendulum
-- The Pug on the Wug
-- The Recovery Room
-- The Yak & Brew
-- Three Angry Wives
-- Good For What Ales You

So next time you're hankering to open your very own backyard brewery, don't forget to give it a name your neighbor's won't forget!

What's summer without backyard barbecues and a barrel of brewskies?

So, what exactly do you serve your navel-gazing, nerve-wracking, or nit-picking neighbors who drive you to drink?

How about barbecued ribs, dogs, and burgers plus a fine selection of split-your-sides-laughing suds including:

-- "Accusation Ale", "Amnesiac IPA" and "Blue Truck Ale" (Phillips Brewing)
-- "Anarchist Amber Ale" (from Cannery Brewing)
-- "Atilla the Honey" (from Mt. Begbie)
-- "Black Widow" and "Killer Bee" (from Tin Whistle)
-- "Bull Max Malt Liquor" (from Stroh Canada)
-- "Cutthroat Pale Ale", "Hop Head IPA", "Rebel Original", "Thirsty Beaver Amber Ale" (from Tree Brewing)
-- "Draft Dodger Cream Ale" or "Blue Truck Ale" (from Phillips Brewing)
-- "Dude Beer" (Tree Brewing)
-- "Easy Honey Pale Ale" (from Shaftebury)
-- "Faceplant Winter Ale", "Liplock Summer Wheat Ale" or "Paddywhack IPA Organic" (from Nelson Brewery)
-- "Grasshopper Wheat Ale" or "Warthog Ale" (from Big Rock)
-- "Grizz Pale Ale" (from Fernie Brewing)
-- "Hop Goblin' India Pale Ale" or "Red Devil Pale Ale" (from R&B Brewing)
-- "Moosehead Lager" (from Moosehead Brewing)
-- "Propellor" (from Propeller Brewing)
-- "Sasquatch Stout" (from Old Yale Brewing)
-- "Surly Blonde Big Belgian Triple" (from Phillips Brewing)
-- "The Mingler" (from Granville Island)
-- "TNT Strong" (from Pacific Western)

And for bilingual beer boffolas we have:

-- "La fin du monde", "La Maudite", and "Trois Pistoles" (from Unibroue in Quebec)

And last but not least, we've got the iconic international brands:

-- "Black Sheep Ale" and "Monty Pythons Holy Grail Ale" (from Black Sheep Brewery in England)

-- "Bah Humbug", "Fiddler's Elbow Ale, "Hobgoblin Ale", and "Young's Double Chocolate Stout" (from Wychwood Brewery in England).

-- "Hogs Back Traditional English Ale" (Hogs Back Brewery, Surrey, England).

-- "Grumps Biggles Extra Special Bitter", "Old Preacher, Parkyns Shark Oil", "Nail Stout", "Little Creatures Pale Ale" and "Old Speckled Hen" (from Australia)

Winter wonderland events are a great time to sample a few seasonal suds that might make you snicker judging from their nifty names.

So, if you're looking for a great conversation piece while roasting chestnuts on an open fire or watching Jack Frost nipping something at your front door, you might want to sample the following lineup of light-hearted libations to be stuffed into Santa's stocking or perhaps a festive night out with friends ...or if all else fails, why not enjoy some giggles and glug-a-lug during a hearty holiday stew and soup occasion. Try these bondacious bubblies!

-- "Abominable Ale" (Hopworks Urban Brewery)
-- "Alpha King Pale Ale" (Three Floyds Brewing Company)
-- "Alpha Klaus Xmas Porter (Three Floyds Brewing Company)
-- "Bad Elf" (Ridgeway Brewing)
-- "Blitzen - Belgian Style Tripel" (Rock Bottom Brewery)
-- "Blitzen Flavored Ale" (Maumee Brewing Company)
-- "Blizzard of Ozz - Belgian Specialty" (Off The Rail Brewing Company)
-- "Cabin Fever Stout" (Klamath Basing Brewing Company)
-- "Category 5 Ale Winter Storm" (Clipper City Brewing)
-- "Collaborater Hallucinator Old Ale" (Homebrewer's special recipe)
-- "Criminally Bad Elf" (Ridgeway Brewing)
-- "Crooked Tooth Pumpkin Ale" (Phillips Brewing)
-- "Defroster Winter Scottish Ale" (Cascade Brewing Company)
-- "Ebenezer Ale - Winter Warmer" (BridgePort Brewing)
-- "Full Sail Wassail" (Full Sail Brewery)
-- "Gritty McDuff's Christmas Ale" (ABV Brewing)
-- "Jewbelation Eleven" (from HE-BREW beers, Shmaltz Brewing)
-- "Mistletoe Draught Beer" (Lazy Boy Brewing Company)
-- "Ho Ho Homo Erectus" (Walking Man Brewing & Public and Public House)
-- "Hopnosis Double IPA" (Widmer Brothers Brewing Compay)
-- "Hop Wallop" (Victory Beer)
-- "Liquid Cheer - Tripel" (McMenamins Crystal Brewery)
-- "La Fin du Monde" tr. The End of the World (Unibroue)
-- "Lump of Coal - Dark Holiday Stout" (Ridgeway Brewing)
-- "Mirror Pond Pale Ale" (Deschute Brewery)
-- "Papa Noel's Olde Ale" (Alameda Brewhouse)
-- "Pliny the Younger" (Russian River Brewing)
-- "Powder Hound Winter Ale" (Big Sky Brewing Company)
-- "Regifted Red" (Widmer Brothers Brewing Company)
-- "Saint Rogue Red" (Rogue Ales)
-- "Santa's Private Reserve - Double Hopped Strong Ale" (Rogue Ales)
-- "Seriously Bad Elf" (Ridgeway Brewing)
-- "Sled Crasher" (Collaborator Project: Widmer Brothers Brewing Company)
-- "Snowbound" (Left Hand Brewing Company)
-- "Snowplow" (Widmer Brothers Brewing Company)
-- "Tannen Bomb - Winter Warmer" (Golden Valley Brewery)
-- "2 Below Winter Ale - Winter Warmer" (New Belgium Brewing)
-- "Total Domination IPA" (Ninkasi Brewing)
-- "Two-Hearted Ale" (Bell's Brewery)
-- "Triple Exultation Strong Ale" (Eel River Brewing Company)
-- "Very Bad Elf" (Ridgeway Brewing)
-- "Womanizer" (Enville Ales - a West Midlands brewery, U.K.)

__________

Note: Two years ago the state of Connecticut tried to ban the sale of "Seriously Bad Elf", contending that the label which depicted an elf with a slingshot firing Christmas ornaments at Santa's sleigh, might entice young people to buy the beer. Fortunately for them, someone in the state liquor control office must have had a festive funnybone because the decision was quickly reversed and the beer began to show up in...you guessed it..."Christmas stockings which were hung by the chimney with oodles of care"!

There's something to be said for those sassy suds from the Land of Stars and Stripes, and a few odds and sods suds from north of the 49th parallel.

So without further ado...here are a few:

-- "All Fuggled Up Amber" (General Lafayette Brewing)
-- "Arctic Ale" (Swan's Brew Pub, Victoria, British Columbia)
-- "Arrogant Bastard Ale" (Stone Brewing Company, California)
-- "Aviator Amber Ale" (Aviator Ales, Washington)
-- "Beaver Brown Ale" (Canoe Brew Pub, Victoria British Columbia)
-- "Blue Truck Ale" (Phillips Beer, Vancouver, British Columbia)
-- "Brutal Bitter Ale" (Rogue Ales, Oregon)
-- "Bug Town Stout" (Lagunitas Brewing Company, California)
-- "Chicken Killer Barley Wine" (Sante Fe Brewing Company)
-- "Chocolate Bear Beer Stout" (Rogue Ales, Oregon)
-- "Devil's Brew" (Devil Mountain Brewing, California)
-- "Dogfish Head Raison d'etre", (Delaware)
-- "Doggy Claws Barley Wine Style Ale" (Hair of the Dog Brewing, Portland, Oregon)
-- "Eye of the Hairball Wheatwine Style" (Lagunitas Brewing Company, California)
-- "Fancy Lawnmower Beer" (Saint Arnold Brewing, Texas)
-- "Fat Angel Ale" (Magic Hat Brewing, Vermont)
-- "Fat Head India Pale Ale" (Fat Cat Brewery, Nananimo, British Columbia)
-- "Golden Shower" (Dogfish Head, Deleware
-- "Gritty's Black Fly Stout" (Gritty McDuff's, Portland, Maine)
-- "Grizzly Brown Ale" (Snowshoe Brewing, California)
-- "Ground Rule Dunkelweizen" (Leinenkugel Ballyard Brewery, Phoenix, Arizona)
-- "Hoptical Illusion", (Blue Point Brewing, Long Island, New York)
-- "I'll Have What The Gentleman On the Floor Is Having" (McGuire's Irish Pub & Brewery, Pensacola, Florida)
-- "In-Heat Wheat Ale Hefeweizen" (Flying Dog Brewery, Denver, Colorado)
-- "Lawnmower Beer" (Broad Ripple Brew Pub, Indiana)
-- "Liquid Sunshine Blonde Ale" (Hoppy Brewing, California)
-- "Maid Marion Berry" (Left Hand Brewing, Colorado)
-- "Middle Ages - Druid Fluid Barleywine Style Ale" (Middle Ages Brewing, New York)
-- "Mon Cherie ale" (Custom Brand Beer by Spinnaker's Brew Pub, Victoria, British Columbia for the Victoria Erotica Festival)
-- "Mud Shark Porter" (Fish Tale Ales, Washington)
-- "Old Howling Bastard" (Blue Point Brewing, Long Island, New York)
-- "Old Leghumper Porter" (Thirsty Dog Brewing, Akron, Ohio)
-- "Old Gnarlywine" (Lagunitas Brewing Company, California)
-- "Old Scratch Lager" (Flying Dog Brewery, Denver, Colorado)
-- "Punkin Ale" (Dogfish Head, Deleware)
-- "Rhino Chasers - Amber Ale"
-- "Rogue Brutal Bitter Ale", "Rogue Old Crustacean Barley Wine Style Ale", "Rogue - Shakespeare Stout", "Wild Irish Rogue", "Rogue American Amber Ale" (Rogue Ales, Oregon)
-- "Smuttynose 'Old Brown Dog'" (Smuttynose Brewing, New Hampshire)
-- "Snowblower Ale" (Dogfish Head, Deleware)
-- "Speakeasy Double Daddy Imperial India Pale Ale" (Speakeasy Ales & Lagers, California)
-- "Super G Giner Ginseng Ale" (Hugo's Brew Pub, Victoria, British Columbia)
-- "The Firefly - Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales" (Dexter, Michigan)
-- "The Hairy Eyeball Ale" (Lagunitas Brewing Company, California)
-- "ThumbSucker Sosatel Paltzeu Vermont Imperial Stout" (Magic Hat Brewing, Vermont)
-- "Tire Biter Ale" (Flying Dog Brewery, Denver, Colorado)
-- "Titanic", "Unsinkable", and "Iceberg" -- custom brewed ales by the Victoria Brewing Company for the "Titanic" exhibit at the Royal BC Museum.
-- "Total Domination IPA" (Ninkasi Brewing, Oregon)
-- "Wreck the Halls Ale" (Christmas stock from Full Sail Brewing, Oregon)
-- "Yellow Snow Ale" (Rogue Ales, Oregon)

Has this Bavarian cafe gone bonkers?

Well, apparently "The Bunter Hund" cafe in Vienna, Austria thinks cashing in on the canine version of the famous Munich beer festival, with a bit of beer for bow-wows.

However, only dachshunds drink free in this curious cafe, since the "weiner dog" is considered Bavaria's favorite four-legged pooch.

Note: All other breeds will have to pay for their beer. Now the only question is how much do they intend to charge those thirsty weiner-dog owners?

Whet your whistle wit, wisdom and wonk from the mouths of malt lovers!

-- "He is a wise man who invented beer." - Plato, Greek philosopher.

-- "Most people hate the taste of beer - to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice that many people have been able to overcome." - Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, British statesman, army officer, historical writer, and artist.

-- "I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller." - George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish playwright and Nobel Prize Laureate in Literature.

-- "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." - Dave Barry, humor columnist.

-- "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Ben Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America and a noted polymath as well as a leading author and printer, satirist, political theorist, politician, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman and diplomat.

-- "Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs." - Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1890-1969, 34th President of the United States and Five Star General in the American Army.

-- "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." -- Frank Zappa, American composer, musician and film director, 1940-1993.

-- "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." - Dave Barry, humor columnist.

-- "I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats." - Bartholomew "Bart" Jojo Simpson, a fictional character in the FOX animated television
series, "The Simpsons".

-- "Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer." - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austsraian-born born builder, businessman, actor, and 38th Governor of the U.S. state of California.