Holiday Tips for your special needs child
The Holidays can be a stressful time under the best of circumstances. When you have a special needs child, it can be even more so.
Too much food and noise. Too many people. And let's not forget; too many opinions on the way you're raising your child!
Wonder how you're going to make it through the meal without chewing someone out, or putting your foot in your mouth? Here are some ways to get through these gatherings without going crazy.
Tips To Avoid Problems
With Family Members - Give family members a "heads up" by explaining things ahead of time. Discuss your child's specific needs, and gently but firmly tell them what your plans are. Be sure to let them know that this will make the whole experience better for everyone. Ask for their support.
With their help and understanding, everything can go much more smoothly. Avoiding hurt feelings in a family is definitely worth this effort.
With Your Child - Explain things like what you will be doing, where, when, and how long you will be doing those things. Tell them whatever details they need to know to adjust to the idea. Giving them advanced warning can help them prepare mentally.
Let them know what you expect from them, how you want them to behave, and what the consequences will be if they don't. Remind them of all of these things a few times before the day(s) of the festivities.
Remain Calm - Repeat it over and over in your head whenever you feel yourself losing your cool: I do not have to apologize for being a good parent to my child. We may struggle under the weight of "advice" or disapproval from family members, but our kids don't care about that: They need what they need. You know best what your child needs, and providing it is your responsibility.
Since most children with special needs react badly to stress in their environment, particularly stressed-out parents, staying relaxed and low-key is one of the best things you can do to keep your child's behavior in line. You can always throw a tantrum when you get home.
Don't Overbook - Hold the festivities down to one event per holiday. Don't hop from house to house, or plan a big outing the night before a family event.
Be Alert - Keep an eye out for trouble brewing, and take breaks when needed. Even if it's just to have a quiet minute in a room away from the noise and decorations. This frequent contact can also help your child to feel more secure.
Bring A Care Package
Fill a backpack with things your child finds comforting or enjoys playing with - toy cars, a stuffed animal, a CD and CD player, or a few books. Having them available, even if he/she doesn't actually play with them, may have a calming effect on your child.
If your child gets overstimulated, find a quiet corner or a back room and pull out the backpack. Who knows, maybe you even need a quiet moment that does not involve long conversations with unpleasant relatives!

JanSport Classic Big Student Backpack


JanSport Big Student Classic daypack, is a large capacity pack. It will easily hold enough to get your child through the day in its two main compartments.
It also has a front pocket with an organizer to store your necessary gadgets and music player, and a headphone cord port. Other features include an upper zippered accessory pocket, and a lower front zippered stash pocket.
Have An Escape Plan
Better to leave before things go bad than "tough it out" and end up regretting it!
A Home Other than Yours:
Arrange a time limit or a signal ahead of time and observe it - even if it means missing the pumpkin pie!
Everyone having a good time, and your child is coping better than expected? Go ahead and extend the deadline, but be ready to split at a moment's notice.
If your holiday travels involve an stay overnight, get a hotel room. Your child (and you) will need someplace quiet and chaos-free to decompress after the day.
For Your Home:
Everybody gathering at your house for dinner? Then make your child's room off-limits to everybody but him/her.
Encourage your child to use their room as a refuge when things get overwhelming.
What's On The Menu?
Find out ahead of time!
Whether you are celebrating the holidays at home this year, or at a relative's house, knowing what is on the menu beforehand can save you headaches at the meal table.
Always make sure that there is something your child will eat on the menu (even if you bring it yourself!).
The goal of the day isn't about them cleaning their plate, trying out new foods, or making the cook happy. It's about getting through the meal with a minimum of stress, for everyone attending. It's about being grateful for what we have and giving thanks.
If your child wants to give thanks for pizza, so be it.
You're Wearing What??
Don't start the day out with a battle over attire!
For kids with sensitivities to certain types of clothing, or for those who insist on wearing their favorite sweat suit to the family gathering, why not let them dress themselves for the day?
While your mother-in-law may find their attire inappropriate, is it worth starting the day off with a battle that will only add to your stress and their anxiety? Worrying about what they're wearing, or putting them in clothes that you know will cause fuss, is a bad way to start.
Think about it this way, you'll be the only parent at the table who's not worrying about ruined outfits when the inevitable spills occur!
Additional Reading
Hints and Tips for Helping Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders: Useful Strategies for Home, School, and the Community
Hints and Tips for Helping Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders is an essential aid for parents and carers to make small and simple changes that result in big improvements in the quality of life of children, their families,
Amazon Price: $15.56 (as of 12/02/2009) ![]()
Usually ships in 24 hours
Overwhelmed No More!: The Complete System For Balanced Living For Parents Of Children With Special Needs
This unique book is filled with easy to follow readings, checklists, charts, workbook pages, and action plans -- giving you all the tools you need to get your life under control with less stress, more energy, renewed clarity, and unstoppable momentum.
Amazon Price: $24.97 (as of 12/02/2009) ![]()
Usually ships in 24 hours
Top Ten Tips: A Survival Guide for Families with Children on the Autism Spectrum
Top Ten Tips offers 520 practical, tried-and-true tips. The book is organized so that you don't have to read through theories or lengthy descriptions - it is all practical; short and sweet.
Amazon Price: $14.93 (as of 12/02/2009) ![]()
Usually ships in 24 hours
Comments?
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- ldoone88 ldoone88 Nov 15, 2009 @ 5:26 am
- You mean we're not the only ones to ditch family gatherings early? LOL. Nice Lens!
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- kimmanleyort kimmanleyort Nov 10, 2009 @ 9:30 am
- Wonderful content and pictures! It reminded me that the holidays are supposed to be a happy time and they would be much happier if we were all gentler with each other and lowered our expectations. Just be and enjoy what is! 5*
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- AddaptAbilities AddaptAbilities Nov 10, 2009 @ 1:41 am
- When reading the intro, I read "make it through the meal without chewing your own foot off" instead of "make it through the meal without chewing someone out, or putting your foot in your mouth". What you've got here is good advice for adults too.
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- Wednesday_Elf Wednesday_Elf Nov 9, 2009 @ 9:32 am
- A very thoughtful lens everyone should read, not just parents with special needs children. Excellent advice.
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- luvmyludwig luvmyludwig Nov 9, 2009 @ 9:04 am
- This could be applied to special needs, toddlers, and any other child - great advice!
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Lensmaster Macs has been a member since July 6 2009, has rated 254 lenses, favorited 47, and has created 87 lenses from scratch. Tammi McQuarrie donates their royalties to Squidoo Charity Fund and ASPCA. This member's top-ranked page is "Fun Photo Effects". See all my lenses
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