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Home Funerals / Family Directed Funerals

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Home Funeral, or Funeral Home?

A hundred years ago caring for your own dead, and funerals and vigils held in homes were the norm. Today, however, many people don't realize they still have the option of choosing a home funeral. In most states, home funerals can be offered without the use of a funeral home or funeral director. The FAMILY can act as the funeral director.

More and more people are selecting this option because it provides a very meaningful experience for the whole family. And it costs a fraction of what a "normal" funeral would cost (currently around $6,000).

There are a handful of people across the United States helping families with caring for their own. Read further for information about them.

Although home funerals take more time to arrange, families that choose them feel they are much more intimate and meaningful than those arranged by a funeral home. This is true, in part, because the families are much more involved in the details of planning the home funeral or memorial.

Being involved with planning and making the arrangements also helps the family in dealing with their grief. It gives a sense of control and helps those in grief feel like they are doing something useful. Many family members feel this is one last way to provide a service to, and to honor, their loved one.

To make any funeral meaningful it must reflect the values of the family and the person who died. Turning the funeral arrangements over to a funeral home who may not know the deceased runs the risk of a funeral that feels empty, cold, or impersonal. Many people report attending funerals such as these, perhaps you have yourself.

 

 

Funeral Consumer Alliance (FCA)

Nationwide information for consumers

The FCA is a nation-wide non-profit organization dedicated to protecting a consumer's right to choose a meaningful, dignified,affordable funeral. The FCA will advocate for an individual's right to perform a home funeral if a government official stands in their way. Please visit http://www.funerals.org (and support them with your membership), or call them at 1-800-765-0107.

Home Funerals

An introduction to the home funeral movement

This 4 minute video contains images that were taken at actual home funerals, and also at workshop trainings. This is an educational video for people who may not know that a home funeral is an available choice.
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Home Funeral Training

Learn how to do your own home funeral

Links to groups that provide training, books or consultations on on how to do your own home funeral
Final Passages, Jerrigrace Lyons
Located in California, Jerrigrace Lyons is a popular speaker and training about the topic of home funerals. She offers a certification course for those who want to help families with home funerals.
Crossings: Caring for Our Own at Death
A resource center for after-death care alternatives, particularly educating the family to act as funeral director, legal in almost all states in the United States.
Crossings Care Circle, Texas
Crossings Care Circle assists families in Texas by offering education and resources for arranging their own home and family funerals. The goal is to allow the family to participate as much or as little as they want, making use of some funeral home services if they choose.

Plan your home funeral

Recommended steps

Following are steps you can go through for learning about how to arrange a home funeral
  1. Join the Funeral Consumer Alliance (www.funerals.org) and see if there is a chapter in your area (these good folks keep an eye on the funeral industry and defend your right to arrange a home funeral)
  2. Begin to talk to other people who are doing home funerals and see what resources are available to you in your area
  3. Review a video on the topic (I recommend POV: Family Undertaking, see #4 above) so you can acquaint yourself with how it can be done
  4. Research the legal requirements in your area. See Lisa Carlson's book: "Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love," or contact the Funeral Consumer Alliance (www.funerals.org). A handful of states require the involvement of a funeral director.
  5. Plan your resources well in advance of needing to actually hold a home funeral.

Recommended Reading

Donna's recommended reading for home funeral preparation
A Year to Live, by Stephen Levine
A must-read for everyone who will die! One of the gifts of looking at death before we experience it is that it really makes us happy to be allive, and encourages us to live fully and bodaciously
Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love, by Lisa Carlson
A must-read before you pre-buy your funeral, casket, cemetery plots, etc. This book has excellent legal information and practical advice when dealing with the funeral industry.
Living into dying: A journal of spiritual and practical deathcare for family and community, by Nancy Jewel Poer
Excellent and relevant information for home funeral planning.

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DBelk

Most people who participate in home funerals find it deeply meaningful. It can also assist with the grieving processes. I hope you will visit some of the... more »

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