Created by quippingqueen (contact me)
Hats off to those who know how to have fun with horrid headpieces!
The Quipping Queen and Empress of Eccentric... (more...)
Your fans are waiting!
WELCOME TO HORRIBLE HATS AND HAPPY UNBIRTHDAYS!
In a day and age when butt cracks and bald heads are seen more frequently than hats, honoring the chic-less chapeau is certainly in order.
So, for those with a keen interest in the history of haberdashery, not to mention passing the hat, holding on to one's hat, doing hat tricks, taking one's hat off to congratulate another, talking through one's hat, throwing one's hat into the ring, figuring out how many hats one is wearing, dropping in on the Mad Hatter's tea party or keeping something under one's hat...be it horrible or not, this is definitely the right spot.
I SPY A MERRY, MIRTHFUL MAD HATTER!
Designed for dingbats with dentures.
Worn by those with an elevated opinion of themselves.
Twinkle, twinkle little bat! How I wonder what you're at.
Worn by those who love to toot their own horns.
What do you mean you've never heard of the Mat Heart Hatter?
HALF-BAKED HISTORY OF HATS (the short version)
A hat is a covering for the head designed to:1. Keep the hail, rain, or snow off one's lovely locks in order to impress a significant somebody or more importantly, deflect criticism if donned on April Fool's Day, Halloween, or a Retirement Roast.
2. Keep the ears warm on a cold blustery winter day, provide shade from the sun and a red nose, protect oneself from bugs, bees and bombs, not to mention allow one to breath underwater, underground and out in space.
3. Disguise the fact that one is having a very bad hair day.
4. Enhance the appearance of pathetic pets and people who already look completely dorky, dweebish or dumb as it is without any help from a hellish hat.
5. Impress strangers, loyal subjects, and family members on special occasions like birthdays, graduations, weddings, funerals and swearing in ceremonies not to mention scare the pants off aliens or those deemed to be "not one of us".
Hats have been around since Eve tried to hoodwink Adam with her wicked witch's hat, black patent pumps, and her contoured cape. Adam on the other hand discovered that offing a furry critter every now and then gave him an excuse to wear the carcass on his head at sporting events.
TEMPLE OF TERRIBLE TOQUES
The Tentacle Toque
The Twisted Political Party Hat
A Red-Tuqued Twit
The best-dressed sock-monkey in town!
I don't eat hats!
WHAT'S WITH THOSE TERRIBLE TOQUES?
What's the meaning of "Toque"?It derives from the Medieval French "toque" (15th century), a tall white pouched hat with a crown worn by a chef (or King of the Kitchen); it may also be from the old Spanish "toca" meaning a "woman's headdress", possibly from Arabic "taqa" or from Old Persian "taq", meaning a "veil" or "shawl".
It is also known as small, close-fitting brimless hat, usually made of a soft material worn by women.
Tuque: A Quebecois term, sometimes also spelled "toque" or "touque" in English) is a knitted hat, originally of wool though now often of synthetic fibers, designed to keep the head warm in winter. All tuques are tapered, often topped with a pom-pom. Today they're trendy with teenagers, particularly shy males who do not wish to celebrate "bad hair days".
POINTY HAT PEOPLE
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!
You'll never catch him kissing a blarney stone!
Thank God she has a lovely personality!
Beware of pointy hat people!
Jest a little bit nuts!
Dragon boat festival down in Superior in 2006
There's a Purple People Eater in every crowd!
A truly heavenly hat.
A pointy hat person with personality!
Would you be caught dead in this get-up?
THINGS TO DO WITH HORRIBLE HATS
The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins (Classic Seuss)
Make a contribution to the Bartholomew Cubbins collection!
Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 05/13/2008)
The Red Hat Society(TM): Fun and Friendship After Fifty
Dye them a crimson color and join a Vintage Vixen Club!
Amazon Price: $10.36 (as of 05/13/2008)
Saturday Night Hat: Quick, Easy Hatmaking for the Downtown Girl
Now you can make Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna and Jennifer Lopez lovely look-alike hats...oh whoopee!
Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 05/13/2008)
The Inflatable Crown Balloon Hat Kit
What ho! Time to make an inflatable crown balloon hat all by yourself!
Amazon Price: (as of 05/13/2008)
What Can You Do with a Paper Bag?
Become a complete and utter fashion fool!
Amazon Price: $11.96 (as of 05/13/2008)
HOME-MADE HAT GALLERY
The proverbial Happy Birthday Hat.
The dorky dragon hat.
The darn dinosaur hat.
Chicken (or turkey) is an extended version of the infamous
The Frog Prince Hat
The Bunny Bonnet if you please!
If that's a cat in a hat...I'll eat my hat!
The peculiar Pagoda Hat.
The 'everything including the kitchen sink hat'.
What you do with an old cowboy hat!
HILARIOUS YET HORRIBLE HATS!
WIT, WISDOM & WONK IN THE WORLD OF HATS
Hats are not usually considered a heavy-duty discussion topic at formal dinner parties. That being said, it's always a good idea to keep a few quotations on the subject under one's hat in order to fill the inevitable lulls in conversation that crop up when witless windbags gasp for air.Here are a few intriguing if not impressives things to say on the subject of hats:
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. -- Woody Allen, American comedian
Don't hang your hat higher than you can reach. -- Belizean proverb.
Any man can lose his hat in a fairy-wind. -- Irish proverb.
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. -- Fred Allen, American humorist, 1894-1956.
Hats divide generally into three classes: offensive hats, defensive hats, and shrapnel. -- Katherine Whitehorn
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. -- Fred Allen, American comedian, 1894-1956.
Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to "prove their love" like a moose needs a hat rack. -- Abigail Van Buren
On top of the Crumpety Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. -- Edward Lear, British poet, 1812-1888.
I'll beat him so hard he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on. Muhammad Ali.
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. -- P.J. O'Rourke, American political commentator, writer and humorist.
The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run. -- John Barrymore, American actor, 1882-1942.
That is why no matter how desperate the predicament is, I am always very much in earnest about clutching my cane, straightening my hat and fixing my tie, even though I have just landed on my head. -- Charlie Caplin, British comedian, writer, and film director, 1889-1977.
I think a good product would be a Baby Duck Hat. It's a fake baby duck hat which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of a sudden you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man those ducks really take off! Also Baby Duck Hat is good for parties. -- John Handy, American writer and "Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live" cast member, 1991-2003.
THE HORRID HEADGEAR COLLECTION
Meet the Melon Man!
A Horse Hat...what did you think it was?
Garden Party Princess.
A cat with a hat of course!
A happy camper hat naturally!
Two-bit cowboys with two-bit hats!
A floppy flag-floosie!
New of meaning of 'Going Green'.
From the Horrid Hoodie collection.
Lord of the Lampshade.
TRIVIA AND TIDBITS ABOUT HATS -- BE THEY HAPPY OR HORRIBLE
1. There are 66,800,000 web pages devoted to hats.2. Some hats are endurable, meaning you can probably wear them in a mucky monsoon, on a trek across the Sahara by camel, or in a canoe on a lake full of blackflies and beavers (somewhere north of the 49th parallel).
4. Wayward if not weird folk sometimes even craft their own hats made of tin-foil to ward off unfriendly things from outer space not to mention things that go bump in the night especially on Halloween.
5. Believe it or not, head hunters even wear hats and design them!
6. For those who hate hats but like gliding about on a dance floor, they can tune in to Men Without Hats which might be a good deal more productive than complaining about the sad state of haberdashery these days.
7. There are some potty people around who find a warm welcome at the Madhatter's Saloon in Montreal, Quebec (Canada).
8. Those who enjoy talking through their hats would be well advised to pick up a straw stetson or at the very least, a ten-gallon hat!
9. Six-thinking hat types who enjoy living in a parallel universe, should clearly tell the rest of us here on planet earth just what hat they're wearing today.
10. And those who are either bored with life or a leprechaun at heart might want to try a few hat tricks to amaze their friends and strike fear into the hearts of any trolls lurking about under bridges or toadstools!
And next time you need a baffling bedtime book, pick up this teasingly titled one by Oliver Sacks, The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat.
CELEBRITY CHAPEAUX
W.C. Fields - A Wit With a Hat!
Laurel & Hardy Who Made Bowler Hats Famous!
Barbara Stanwyck - in a burlesque bonnet!
Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops!
A feline with floppy hat -- Marilyn Monroe
Lucille Ball in a Boffo Bonnet.
Marlene Dietrich in a dashing hat!
The Evil Witch from the Wizard of Oz.
Just flowers for Joan Crawford.
Ziegfield Girls go zany!
Jimmy Stewart - when wearing hats was normal for a regular guy.
HATS OFF TO THESE HAPPY THOUGHTS...
HATS AND HEADPIECES POLL
HOW MANY HATS ARE YOU WEARING TODAY?
King 5 news video - The Hat Museum
One of Oregon's most unusual historic homes has been transformed into Portland's quirkiest attraction. The Ladd-Reingold House has a 100-year legacy of milliners and hat fanciers!
Runtime: 4:02
979 views
3 Comments:
HEADGEAR FOR HEADHUNTERS!
Fetching new data from eBay now... please stand by
LIGHT-HEARTED LINKS FOR HILARIOUS HEADGEAR FOLKS
- HATS AND HEADGEAR HEADQUARTERS
- A long list of hats and headgear for people with an insatiable curiosity about heady-topics.
- SIX THINKING HATS
- So what color hat category do you belong to?
- ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HATS...BUT NEVER DARED TO ASK
- Exactly what is a hat? What does 'at the drop of a hat' mean? And how does one build a tin foil hat?
- SO, HOW BIG IS YOUR HEAD?
- The definitive source for cerebellum-lovers with an urge to decorate their posh pin-heads.
- THE HAT MUSEUM
- America's only hat museum in Portland, Oregon.
- GREEN HATS ARE NOT WELCOME IN CHINA!
- Learn why you should never give a green hat, a clock, or a pair of scissors to a business man in China.
- WHO EVER HEARD OF BAD HAT HARRY PRODUCTIONS?
- Obviously someone loves horrible headpieces, came up with this TV production company name!
- NUTTY NOVELTY HATS
- Hilarious headgear for happy-challenged folk only.
- HATS YOU WILL HATE
- Hats are like people, they come in all shapes and sizes; some you will ignore, some you will love, and some you will despise - the latter is featured in this gallery of giggles.
- HORRIBLE HOLIDAY HAT
- For those who are desperate for a bit of ho-ho-ho headgear.
- HATS IN THE BELFRY
- Forget about bats in the Belfry...try on "Flapping Unicorn", a "Sparkly Chicken Hat" or a "Yin Yang Madhatter".
- THE SOCIAL MEANING OF HATS
- If you've ever pondered about the social meaning of hats, you should head on over here!
THE HAUNTED HAT COLLECTION
Uncle Ape, I hardly recognized you!
A messy make-over?
Affectionately known as the 'blockhead'!
Has he gone batty?
Take me to your leader Twat!
QUIRKY QUOTATIONS ABOUT HORRIBLE HATS
"He never spat Or wore an ugly hat Or behaved like a rat. Fred was above all that." from "Every Day's a Holiday: Amusing Rhymes for Happy Times" by Dean Koontz and Phil Parks."If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish, he will buy an ugly hat, and if you talk about a fish to a starving man then you're a consultant." -- from "Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel: A Guide to Outwitting Your Boss, Your Coworkers and the Other Pants-Wearing Ferrets in Your Life" by Scott Adams.
"You can keep your ugly hat, but I want that paper." from "Flora Segunda: Being the Magical Mishaps of a Girl of Spirit, Her Glass-Gazing Sidekick, Two Ominous Butlers (One Blue), a House With Eleven Thousand Rooms and a Red Dog" by Ysabeau S. Wilce.
"Had the principal pointed out how ugly the hat was, he might have appealed to my vanity." from "The Incredible Shrinking Critic: 75 Pounds and Counting: My Excellent Adventure in Weight Loss" by Jami Bernard.
"I enjoy hats. And when one has filthy hair, that is a good accessory. -- Julia Roberts, American actress
"It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although if sometimes they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself." "Horseradish - Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid" by Lemony Snicket
"You can change the theme to be Ugly Shoes Day. Ugly Hat Day is another one that works well." Advice from author Bruce Fier on how to start and run a money-making bar.
CHRISTMAS CLANGER CAPS
It's Silly Hat Season!
You think Frosty would wear it?
Does a dog have dignity?
A Christmas Pudding Hat naturally.
Tis the season of snickering.
Get this thing off my head!
The Naughty Hat.
I'm still feeling a little blue.
Don't give me any grief about my nose!
Don't like my Ho Ho Hat?
BATTY BOOKS ABOUT HORRID HABERDASHERY
Fashion Means Your Fur Hat is Dead: A Guide to Good Manners and Social Survival in Alaska
Frightful fashion-statements from the land of ice and snow.
Amazon Price: $11.21 (as of 05/13/2008)
The Cat in the Hat
All about a schmuck in a smashing chapeau.
Amazon Price: $8.99 (as of 05/13/2008)
Make Something Ugly-- For a Change: The Definitive Guide to Papier/Cloth Mache
Amazon Price: (as of 05/13/2008)
The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat: And Other Clinical Tales
For those who can't distinguish between hats and homemakers.
Amazon Price: $10.20 (as of 05/13/2008)
Advice from beanie babies welcome!
|
jenabernathy
Very informative lens here, this is very good information about horrible hats and I like hats, Posted May 07, 2008 |
|
the-secret
Hi, Posted March 03, 2008 |
|
Forgiven
What a great lens! 5 Stars from me! Please visit my faithography lens when you get time and rate it if you would. Posted August 15, 2007 |
|
GypsyPirate
I somehow knew I would see the Dr. Suess book somewhere in this lens. Thanks for not disappointing me. Posted August 10, 2007 |
|
bdkz
Very Cute! Posted August 02, 2007 |
