How Famous Couples Met

This was a scandal that had everyone's panties in a twist. But when the dust settled and everyone huffpuff'd until they couldn't huffpuff any more, everyone then went on to place their bets on how long this one will last. I hope it does, if not for the sake of populating the world with perfect Gattaca-like babies.

The Story: I'm sure they met wayyyyy before Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but it was this movie that got them thinking, "Hellz, what am I doing 'married to that sitcom star / kissing my brother' ... look at this fine piece of pie." Maybe it's the roles they played, which I choose to believe is close to their real personas: (I'm a casual good-looking kinda dorky guy / I'm a tough got-it-altogether chick but all I want is a family), but it worked. They kept it all hush-hush until pictures of them popped up on some isolated African beach with their adopted brood. They start a family which look like United Colours of Benetton Generation Z. They make their own babies. They're still together. And everytime she has a little too many slices from the bread basket, they're on the front pages of the tabloids, either pregnant, divorcing or marrying.

Why we love them: who doesn't like a couple that says: "We won't get married until everyone who wants to get married has the right to get married." ... supporting the LGBT cause. Aww, lurve. AND they name all their boys with first names that end in X. So cool. These two. So cool.

How it's like real life: It's like rooting for the most popular kids in your class to hook-up.

Current Status: Together, not married. Living in sin with their perfect children.

Who does not love The Notebook? Ryan once said about his and Rachel's real-life romance: "People will laugh when they hear the [real-life] plot, but I want to go on record as saying it's even more romantic than The Notebook."

The Story: They met during casting for The Notebook. They hated each other. They finished the movie. They had to promote the movie. They realized that they didn't hate each other that much. What can I say; Hate is the same manifestation of love. They fell in love. They posed on a bazillion red carpet together. They won MTV Movie awards Best Kiss, and did a pretty thorough Show & Tell of their award-winning tonsil-hockeying. They broke up. They got back together. They broke up again. Now we wait. Because we really like them together.

Why we love them: Both Canadian. Both talented. Both seemingly normal people.

How it's like real life: It's like rooting for your 2 best friends to hook up.

Current Status: Not together :(
His side: Now with the equally-hot Eva Mendes
Her side: Now with the werewolf from Underworld Michael Sheen (who was previously with Kate Beckinsale; we'll cover that one too.)

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. I have no idea how David Beckham got on with the rest of the Spice Girls, but he definitely got it on with the Posh One.

The Story: David was in top form, playing for England and the MUFC Red Devils. She was on top of the Spice World, singing and dancing with the Spice Girls. Everytime someone asked Becks which Spice Girl he fancies, he says "The Posh One. The one with the bob. The one with legs." Story goes he lamented like a lovesick lame-o to his teammate Gary Neville, "She's so beautiful. I just love everything about that girl, Gaz. You know, I've got to meet her." And obvi, he did, because he's David Beckham. But being a pretty jock, apparently the convo was short, as they had no idea what to talk about. Posh gave him her parent's phone number. If that isn't a put-out, I don't know what is. But you have to understand, she was dating some other guy named Stuart. Soon enough though, they were dating. She got preggo. He made an honest woman out of her and married her. They moved into their own Beckingham Palace. She popped out 3 boys. His moved to Real Madrid, but when his career headed for its twilight, he signed up with the LA Galaxy of the newly formed Major League Soccer for something like a bazillion dollars to capitalize on Americans knowing nothing about football. They move to Los Angeles to hang out with their celebrity couple friends like TomKat. They dodge Scientology. She toured one more time with the Spice Girls, which was pure nostalgia, if not for her little boy Cruz breakdancing on stage like a star (watch out!). She popped out a girl named Harper Seven (a good whiskey name). Oh, somewhere in there, he had indiscretions with his assistants, but they made it through, because in the end, really, it just wouldn't work, if it's not the two of them.

Why we love them: They look hot posing for Armani together. They look like good parents. They even stand by each other's side.

Why it's like real life: Because just like real life, it's a story of how "Two Become One".

Current status: Still together, just popping out a daughter. Hopefully, still not Scientologists.

We were always rooting for them. We've known Prince Wills since he was a baby, and heaps of tragedy made us want to root for him, balding and all. Throw in there the underdog commoner theme, and we're sold.

The Story: He is the sad little prince, having lost his People's Princess mother so young. Diana tried to raise him right, proper and sans uppity-ness. So he goes to University of St. Andrews to be "one with his peoples". Enter Kate. Daughter of commoners, albeit social climbing ones. They're successful in their own right, but still ... common. They become friends. Wills dates socialites galore. Kate is portrayed like a loyal lapdog "girl-next-door, but really in same house" friend. They start dating hush hush. They graduate. Kate becomes Waity Katey, waiting for the Prince to commit (he is just still a guy). They break up, because it just wasn't going anywhere. She goes out single all hot in tiny little dresses. The Prince regrets his decision and chases her back down. They get back together. She gets the Royal Grooming treatment. When deemed ready, the Prince asks the Queen for her OK (i.e. Pls don't kick me out of the will). Queen considers that the popularity of the couple can save the monarchy; gives her OK. Prince proposes to the commoner with the ring his mother wore. They announce the engagement. Every person with a British accent that works in media gets a job on the day of the wedding as a "Royal Correspondent". They get married in Westminster Abbey with strange trees brought in to make it look like Lord of the Rings. She arrives in a car in a conservative lace number (her sister Pippa rocked her ass out in a body-skimming number); she leaves in a carriage a Princess. That morning, the Queen tossed them a couple titles here and there to make it legit.

Why we love them: Minus the poisoned apple and glass slipper, it's pretty much a fairy tale.

Why it's like real-life: Minus all the sentences with reference to Queen, Prince, etc., it really is the classic "Started as friends, girl pines over boy, boy won't commit, boy realizes he's been a nitwit, and they lived happily ever after."

Current status: Word is they're expecting. Job done. Heir to the throne on its way?

This is a tough one. It's easy to beat down on them, but c'mon don't you have a life? I say, it's irreconcilable differences. He's 2 foot taller than her. You know how hard it is to hold hands when you have a 2 foot differential? And if you can't hold hands, it's all downhill from there.

The Story: They apparently knew about each other. Through mutual friends on the New Jersey Nets, they kept asking about each other. Then Kris's teammate Jordan Farmer finally played Fairy Godmother in his Nikes and introduced them. Less than a year later and no less than a bazillion dollars spent on engagement rings, pre-engagement parties, engagement parties, engagement hosting gigs at clubs, wedding appearances, TV wedding special then finally the wedding itself, they finally got hitched. Kim had doubts, but because Kris spelled his name with a 'K' and not the customary 'Ch', I'm sure she thought "It kan't be a koincidence. I kompletely love him. Plus I'm making bank." But 72 days later, they announced their divorce. Eek, I hate it when I'm right.

Why we love them: What else would we talk about? Plus she has a nice bum, and he ... well, the NBA lockout is over.

How it's like real life: It's not.

Current Situation: Not together, seeking an annulment on the grounds of "I didn't know it was legit if it happens on TV."

Lesbian perfection. We really like these two. It seems so easy breezy beautiful their relationship. It just works ... and it's not just because Ellen's a Cover Girl.

The Story: Apparently, they met in 2004 at a photo shoot. There was attraction, but being good girls were loyal to their then-girlfriends at that time. But fate intervenes. They meet again at the VH1 Big in '04 awards ... this time they could not contain it. They had a go. Together still, and frankly I'm not sure about how they both came out or if one came out and inadvertedly outed the other. In this case, all that is really a moot point. They belong together. Ellen has been there through Portia's eating disorder. Portia has been there through Ellen's fashion evolution to the icon that she is now.

Why we like them: It's just easy. They're both likable. It's like they're REALLY into each other, nothing else matters.

Why it's like real life: Isn't that typical - you meet THE one when you're with another person?

Current status: Still together and aging well together. I hope they have a baby soon. YEEEE!