Embrace Your Inner Billionaire
Something that was meant to be.
Scammers love me. I have proof! For the past three years, I have kept the most heart-wrenching emails. How could I possibly trash such caring, compassionate messages? I shudder to think of what I might have missed, if I'd hit that Delete key too soon.
The time has come to share these most intimate emails with the world. Lucky you, I've chosen Squidoo as my platform. I hope this lens will encourage you to embrace your inner billionaire. Somewhere out there, an email is winging its way to you from a faraway land. All you need is an open heart and a bank account.
"We're the geniuses of the house because only a person intelligent as we could fake such stupidity."
- Bill Cosby
John the Barrister's email from Chile
Wow! A busy investor found me!

Dear Friend,
I did not forgot your past effort by trying to help me, now I want to tell you that i have suceeded in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from Chile.
CONTACT:KIKI RAYMOND in Cotonou De federal Republic of Benin because I have left the whole instruction to him on your behalf and instruct him where to send the $1,200,000.00 cashable for your compensation.
KIKI RAYMOND
Account Officer,
Cotonou, Benin Republic,
email address: kiki_ray_250@yahoo.fr
phone +229 97313615
NOTE :BELLOW IS THE REQUIRED INFORMATIONS YOU WILL SEND TO Account Officer,
(1) YOUR FULL NAMES
(2) YOUR HOUSE ADDRESS
(3) YOUR DIRECT CELPHONE NUMBER AND HOUSE PHONE WITH FAX IF ANY .
In this moment, I'm very busy here in Chile because of the investment projects, which the new partner and I are having at hand. So feel free to get in touch with KIKI RAYMOND. to send the cheque to you without any delay.
Regards
Barrister John Will
What a delightful character with a gift for gab. He must have known how I needed to stockpile printer paper, laundry detergent, and chocolate. Nice guy, that Barrister John.
I wish he hadn't misspelled so many words, though. And I wish he had not referred to how I had helped him in the past, because my excellent memory had somehow forgotten to record that act of charity.
Money Isn't Everything
Cartoon from Pictures-Pictures.net

Spam Busters
De-spamming the Web one email at a time
Now, before I say this, you have to promise you won't cry.
I know you like emails. And isn't it special when a total stranger finds you, and not only that...wants to transform your life with his dead uncle's estate?
:::slap! slap! slap!:::
Don't touch that email reply button! First, I would like to duct tape you to your computer chair, and force-feed you some anti-spam links. (No, not that kind of Spam.)
FTC - SPAM - Home Page
The Federal Trade Commission's website on spam ema more...0 points
SPAM BLOCKER COALITION – Join the anti-spam fight!
The SPAM BLOCKER COALITION is a new grass roots an more...0 points
Here Comes Twitter Spam And How To Fight It
A spam-less Twitter feed might just be too good to more...0 points
When Plans Crash
Terrible things can happen

Hello my Dear Beloved One,
My name is Vivian Nelson of America, I am married to(Eng Mr. John Nelson
)from united kingdom(u.k) who has an appointment in Saudi Arabian the
chief managing director to Arabian AmericanOil Company(Aramco)under
Engineering project/contract awarding
My husband died as a result of plan crash ,while he was going to New York
for an inspection on Monday, 31 July, 2000.Before his death as s result of
our joint account venture we have $10.3 million (us) dollars in our fixed
deposit account.
Due to my bareness I don’t have a child and am of age, I am 69 years
now and my doctor told me that based on my kidney and liver failure
disease. I can not stay to live up three months ahead, and I am having
serious problem with my husband’s family members.
Therefore I need a God fearing person who will assure me that he/she will
use this fund to help the Motherless baby homes, Orphanage and Charity
organization, Less privileged Propagating the word of God.
I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this
money. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the
Bank. I want you to always pray for me because I don’thave more days
to live.
Thanks
Yours in the lord
Vivian Nelson
Oh, Vivian. Vivian, Vivian, Vivian. I'm terribly sorry about your husband's plan crash. I've had a few plans crash myself. Remember what John Steinbeck said about "the best-laid plans of mice and men"?
Here's something that puzzles me, Vivian. You're 69, and your bareness has prevented you from having a child? Oh. My. Goodness. Still, it's very kind of you to offer that amount of money to me, a total stranger. What a sweetheart you are.
Talkin' About Spam Email on Twitter
Look who's tweetin'
-
- tomgam
- A 70 year old woman just asked which iPhone she should get. I sure hope Nigerian email scammers are developing an app right now.
-
- and1grad
- @thetillshow I figure someone was really tired of Nigerian email scam & decided to go at us pretty hard. FTR, it wasnt me.
-
- shortymcsteve
- May day is almost over, thank god.. Also i think im standing next to some nigerian email scammer, ahhhhhh
-
- paulsegreto
- Does anyone actually fall for these so-called "Nigerian" email scams? If so, I need your bank acct #... LOL
-
- dmburrows
- re: Nigerian email. ha! RT @aaronbassett @dmburrows or a prince with a large inheritance but no money for lawyers fees
Do Email Spammers Have Your Number?
How to handle those fake messages
I'm drowning in email. Are you?
If we could do away with all the spammy messages, it would help a lot, but it looks like they're here to stay. Learning to handle spam is half the battle.
So, what do you do about it?
Do you ever reply to spammy emails?
Fetching blurbs now... please stand byNever. They're morons.
Juliano says:
What?
Posted October 04, 2009
Ramkitten says:
No, I usually delete them without even reading them, if I can tell it's spam. If I can't tell until I open it, I don't get past the second word before it's in the trash.
Posted July 06, 2009
OhMe says:
No, no, no, never. My sister told me to never do that because they would find out where I live.
Posted May 01, 2009
Joan4 says:
ohhhhhh no! someone told me never to do that because that would let spammers know your address is live!
Posted May 01, 2009
Jennifer says:
They're aggravating, and sometimes, I've been tempted to write back about their ridiculous letter. I've never written anyone back, but I have reported a few of them.
Posted May 01, 2009
Well...sometimes. I like to toy with their minds.
seedplanter says:
Ok, I have to confess...I used to reply. I would say things like, "Try again, college boy...you can surely do better than that. You might want to use a dictionary while you're at it, too." Then I realized that many of the spammers are part of an international network. Very organized! Another reason for not replying anymore: The number of spam emails increased after I replied...like threefold! Apparently my email was sold on a list, probably with a star next to my name.
Posted May 01, 2009
chefkeem says:
I did it once. Wanted to see who spammed my plexos. Couldn't find any working links and the British phone number was out of order. Why did they spam me with their real estate offers and then wouldn't allow me to send them all my money? Oh, now I understand! They wanted only my email address so they could send me more spam without any working biz connections. Hmm...must be a new kind of marketing: We're not trying to sell you anything! Ever!
Posted May 01, 2009
Pickin' Your Brain
Spill your thoughts in my poll
An All-Caps Urgent Plea from a College Student
Miss Mariam's bucket of money...

DEAREST ONE,
I AM MARIAM MORGAN, 23YEARS OLD AND THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF MY LATE PARENTS MR.AND MRS.MORGAN. MY FATHER WAS A HIGHLY REPUTABLE BUSNNESS MAGNET-(A COCOA MERCHANT)WHO OPERATED IN THE CAPITAL OF IVORY COAST DURING HIS DAYS.
IT IS SAD TO SAY THAT HE PASSED AWAY MYSTERIOUSLY IN FRANCE DURING ONE OF HIS BUSINESS TRIPS ABROAD YEAR 12TH.FEBUARY 2006.THOUGH HIS SUDDEN DEATH WAS LINKED OR RATHER SUSPECTED TO HAVE BEEN MASTERMINDED BY AN UNCLE OF HIS WHO TRAVELLED WITH HIM AT THAT TIME. BUT GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH!
MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS JUST 14 YEARS OLD, AND SINCE THEN MY FATHER TOOK ME SO SPECIAL. BEFORE HIS DEATH ON FEBUARY 12 2006 HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAS THE SUM OF TEN MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS.(USD$10 000 000) LEFT IN A SECURITY COMPANY IN A METTALIC TRUNK BOX, BUT THE SECURITY COMPANY DIDN'T KNOW THE CONTENT BECAUSE IT WAS REGISTERED AS FAMILY VALUABLES FOR SECURITY REASONS. HE ALSO HAND OVER THE DOCUMENTS TO ME.
I AM JUST 23YEARS OLD AND A UNIVERSITY UNDERGRADUATE AND REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. NOW I WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME CLEAR THE CONSIGNMENT FROM THE CUSTODY OF THE SECURITY COMAPNY. THIS IS BECAUSE I HAVE SUFFERED A LOT OF SET BACKS AS A RESULT OF INCESSANT POLITICAL CRISIS HERE IN IVORY COAST. THE DEATH OF MY FATHER ACTUALLY BROUGHT SORROW TO MY LIFE.
I AM IN A SINCERE DESIRE OF YOUR HUMBLE ASSISTANCE IN THIS REGARDS. YOUR SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS WILL BE HIGHLY REGARDED. NOW PERMIT ME TO ASK THESE FEW QUESTIONS:-
1. CAN YOU HONESTLY HELP ME ?
2. CAN I COMPLETELY TRUST YOU?
3. WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN QUESTION WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU?
PLEASE,CONSIDER THIS AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
MY SINCERE REGARDS,
MISS MARIAM
Miss Mariam, I am so sorry about your parents' untimely death. How nice of your dad to leave his stash in a metallic trunk box. How interesting, that his bank stashes cash in boxes.
Two years have passed since your lovely email. I am still trying to decide what percentage of money I would like. I hope you haven't given up on me. I certainly haven't forgotten your kind offer.
Payback?
A concerned caller suggests a solution for spam
Mystery Unraveled!
Hurray for Inspector General Sir Mike M. Okiro!

THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (NPF)
Plot 16 Alausa, Ikeja-Lagos.PMB 072 Lagos.
From: Sir Mike M. Okiro, Inspector General of The Nigeria Police Force.
This is to officially inform you, that it has come to our notice with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with some Imposters claiming to be official representatives locally and internationally.
Without taking much of your time, my name is Sir. Mike M. Okiro, the Inspector General of the Nigeria Police Force (NPF) of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance/compensation Payment.
Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) on your behalf, in other to avoid any further complication or deviation; you are advice to stop all further contact with this shameless people who are trying to rip out money from you.
Since we the Nigeria Police Force is fully involved in this transaction, you are assured that this 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens and other countries too.
You are advice to contact the Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) stating your Contract/Inheritance/compensation Funds value to them via email, to enable them with the remittance of your funds according to the way want it.
HIS CONTACT INFORMATION IS:
Name: Dr. Mansur Muhtar
Email: fmfpayment10@gmail.com
Kindly contact Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) today, and send the below information to them to enable with the remittance of your funds according to the way you want to receive your funds..
1.Full Name
2.Home Address
3.Direct Phone Number
4.Current Occupation
5.Your Inheritance/ compensation sum value
6.Amount which you lost previously
Note: do not fail to update me after you contact (Dr. Mansur Muhtar) of the Federal Ministry of Finanace.
Regards,
Sir. Mike M. Okiro CFR, NPM, mni
Inspector-General of Police
Federal Republic of Nigeria
Mr. Okiro, I am SO impressed by all those letters after your signature name. What, exactly, does a "CFR, NPM, mni" do all day?
I respect the heads-up, because quite frankly, I had no idea shameless people were after me! I can't thank you enough! Who woulda thought they were trying to rip money out of me? (Y'know, Sir Okiro, I've had a bellyache for the past week. Must be related to those embedded $5 bills.)
I'm also grateful that you are willing to compensate me for past rip-offs, too. Now that's true leadership. You should get a raise.
Leave a Footprint
Sign my guestbook...
Have you had any :::ahem::: interesting spam emails lately?
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Reply
- spirituality spirituality May 10, 2009 @ 11:20 am
- great lens - blessed by a squidangel :) - have you submitted your funny lenses to my humor and hilarity group lately? or to the plexo there? Don't forget to vote :)
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Reply
- RainneRae RainneRae May 10, 2009 @ 11:18 am
- Lol...I think I went pee pee on myself laughing so hard...this lens is soooo funny:)
thanks a bunch! some stars for you.
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Reply
- CatharinaE CatharinaE May 5, 2009 @ 11:45 am
- Very funny lens! I cannot believe that people can think up such nonsense, amazing! 5*
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Reply
- only1bub only1bub May 4, 2009 @ 11:13 pm
- I had someone e-mail me about a Craigslist post saying they couldn't pick it up and if I could mail it to their friend because they really wanted it and would pay me an extra few hundred dollars....ummm, well, my camera was only posted for $70... I wasn't born yesterday! I told them if they wanted it, get their friend to pick it up in person and pay cash...and I never heard from them again!
Great page :)
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Reply
- mysticmama mysticmama May 4, 2009 @ 11:15 am
- Wonderful funny lens!
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- seedplanter
- aka seedplanter
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Go back to revisit certain modules
- John the Barrister's email from Chile
- Money Isn't Everything
- Spam Busters
- When Plans Crash
- Talkin' About Spam Email on Twitter
- Do Email Spammers Have Your Number?
- Pickin' Your Brain
- An All-Caps Urgent Plea from a College Student
- Payback?
- Mystery Unraveled!
- Leave a Footprint
- Follow Me (Seedplanter) at Twitter
- Add my RSS to Your Favorite Blog Reader
by seedplanter

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Wife. Mom. Grandmother. Writer. Photographer. Product reviewer. Jewelry designer. Zazzler. Giant Squid. Blogger. Human Bean of the creative...





