Dating Multiple Men at Once: A Method for Power & Success in the Dating Game

Manhattan Dating is named for the city of Manhattan--the city that never sleeps, where fast-paced dating is a must in everyone's busy lives. This style of dating consists of dating several men at once, maintaining power and control, and assuming a forceful alpha female status at all times. This activity can only be done by confident, independent women, who have a vested interest in running their lives and owning their futures, and don't want to be defined by societal norms.

This page serves as a guideline for women who want to take control of their lives by exploring their way through the sea of men or eventually find their perfect match. The intent of this article is not to be sleazy, slutty, or dishonest. This page is intended to provide women with the tools necessary to able to gain confidence, find happiness, and empower themselves while looking beyond traditional dating methods in doing so. In no way are these suggestions deceitful or an attempt to play men like idiots. They simply represent a new, non-traditional dating style that will help women embrace their inner confidence while providing a rewarding and interesting dating experience.

Maybe you just got out of a long relationship. Maybe your last boyfriend cheated on you. Maybe you've been seeing a guy for a while and you're not sure if its ever going to turn into an actual relationship. Is he seeing anyone else? Should we have that awkward relationship discussion? If you're frustrated that you've not had a date in a while, want a boyfriend but haven't found one, or think all men are messed up, you're doing something wrong. Start Manhattan Dating!

In your dating life, there are many types of men you'll encounter. The men you corrale to be part of your Manhattan Dating prospects will have various different qualifications. Be sure to collect of few of these types of guys for your Manhattan Dating rotation:

1. THE EX-BOYFRIEND: What's better to have around for a rainy day than an ex-boyfriend you're comfortable with? This could be for a much needed hook up, some emotional reassurance, an ego boost, or purely out of boredom. The ex-boyfriend offers a sense of comfort and companionship when you have a rough day or need to vent to someone familiar.

2. ARM CANDY GUY: This is this guy that fits exactly what you're looking for in terms of physical appearance. Is he the jacked and tan guy from the gym? The boyishly cute cashier at the mall? Your tall, dark, and handsome co-worker? Arm candy guy is a hot stud and is exactly what you need to keep in your stable of men when you want to be seen out on the town with a devilishly good-looking guy everyone will be jealous of. Be sure to pair arm candy guy with a nice new outfit or shoes :)

3. NEW POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND: This guy you're quite possibly seriously interested in dating as a long-term committment. He's a good-looking guy who shows you attention and has the personality and many of the qualities you think you might like in a future loverboy. If he stands the test of time, he may eventually be your new beau.

4. THE SEX GOD: He's hot, he's horny, and he knows what to do in bed. This is your late night fling kinda guy. With him, you're not looking for serious boyfriend material, just a quick give-n-go or a fun frolic between the sheets. You both get what you need and leave satisfied without any other further committment. He's there when you text and more than willing to perform.

5. THE WORSHIPPER: This guy would give you the shirt off his back, takes you to lunch, and will help fix your car if need be. He'll pick you up after a long night of drinking at 2am, won't ask any questions, and assures you that your ass looks good in those jeans. The worshipper guy is a great ego-boost to have around if things aren't panning out with your other men. This guy often sits in the background and plays the "best friend" role hoping to one day get a chance to take you out. Let him compliment you all day. Give him a shot...

6. PLAYFUL PUPPY: The playful puppy guy is a guy who is great to hang around with but he's "TOO _______________" for you to date. Too short, too shy, too dumb... whatever it is, you're slightly attracted to him, but can't really see yourself dating him in an actual relationship. Might as well scoop him up for a little Manhattan Dating action since he's fun and available.

7. THE UNAVAILABLE GUY: This is your fun flirting partner. Most likely he already has a girlfriend, works too much, or lives too far away to have an actual relationship. When he's around, he's a great time, but its difficult to invest any kind of emotions or feelings into him with such unavailability. A little sexy texting and fun flirting never hurt anyone though...

8. MR. GENTLEMAN: This guy will open doors, pull out chairs, and treat you like a friggen princess. He's got manners, charisma, and your friends, maybe even your parents, will like him. When you need to feel like you're queen for the day, you'll call this guy to make it happen.

9. PARTY BOY: Party boy is always down to go out and have a good time. He's well-known around town and carries with him a bit of status among the who's who of the entertainment district. He loves a good night of drinking, knows all the best night spots in town (and can get you in VIP), and gets you hooked up with free drinks from cool people all night. He will impress your girl friends, show up with a crew of his hot male friends, and whatever happens-- happens!

1. PSYCHOLOGY OF MANHATTAN DATING: Women that choose to engage in Manhattan Dating do not need to feel ashamed of seeing, and possibly sleeping with more than one man at a time. Men are often rewarded for engaging in this type of behavior and find themselves dating many women who are all in competition of the role of number one girlfriend. Women who embrace this style of dating are in control of their lives and prove this by determining the role each man will play in her life. Women should not feel embarrassed about expressing their prowess and sexuality, yet promiscuity among more than 3 men at a time is not really encouraged. That being said, Manhattan Dating encourages each woman to define her own dating rules and since she's in control, she may change or adapt them whenever she'd like to.

This "try it before you buy it" method of dating is an indication of a confident woman who no longer needs to sit at home waiting for one man to call her phone. Manhattan Dating is a form of female empowerment and promotes self-esteem and provides a thrilling and fun way for women to experience dating without settling into monogamy, investing emotions, and ending up hurt. This type of dating should not be confused with being sleazy. There is a fine line between being in control of your emotions and body and being a careless hooker. The policy should always be safe sex or no sex.

Guilt should not be part of the Manhattan Dating experience. If you have any reservations about dating multiple men, gain some confidence and get a grip on your life before attempting to juggle several relationships at once. If you are an old-fashioned girl, you're most likely at a disadvantage. Your life is probably run for you and you're unable or unwilling to put forth any effort to make such a drastic change, even if its to your benefit. In this case, good luck in your monogamous relationship and leave the multiple-man experience to those women who want to take control of their dating lives.

Lacking confidence, appearance, social abilities, or conversation skills will make it much more difficult to enter into the Manhattan Dating process since the ability to date multiple men at once requires your ability to be able to seduce more than one man at a time and keep him interested. This might seem like an obvious statement, but so few people actually recognize the importance and give enough attention to having confidence and adequately communicating when building a dating relationship.

2. CONFIDENCE: If you lack confidence, chances are good you have limited social experience, low self-esteem, prior unsatisfying relationships, few personal achievements, or an unhealthy body image. If this is the case, get over it. Confidence is the number one issue women have trouble with. Most women believe they aren't good enough, smart enough, savvy enough, or pretty enough. Manhattan Dating cannot be flawlessly executed without possessing extreme amounts of confidence. If you have little to none, fake it. Do not ever fake anything else though! Make him finish the job.

3. APPEARANCE: Obviously being able to attract a man (or multiple men) takes some sort of pleasant appearance. You don't have to be an absolute knock-out for men to come falling at your feet. Most men are attracted to females of average weight/stature with well-groomed hair, clear skin, and groomed nails, boasting a smile full of white teeth. If this doesn't sound like you, its about time to pay more attention to your appearance and begin to make some changes. Men prefer simple hairstyles, nicely-done eye makeup, and a woman who dresses confidently for her body type. If you're lacking in the appearance department, feel free to get to the gym, focus on better nutrition, highlight your hair, paint your nails, or add some color to your wardrobe. Small changes combined with a winning smile can help to project a confident image when trying to attract a man.

4. SOCIAL & CONVERSATION SKILLS: Open your mouth. If you see something you like, go get him. Don't wait for him to come to you. Say something, act confident, blow him a kiss, open with a joke, just do something! So many women are afraid to approach a man for fear of getting rejected. Guess what? Men have those same feelings. Get over it! Its not the end of the world if he rejects you, and odds are, you'll probably never see him again anyways. Men LOVE being approached. It signals to them you're willing and available if you make the first move. Its flattering to them just like it is to us women. Could you imagine going up to a guy, saying something witty, and him ignoring you? Its NOT going to happen! You would then think he's rude and not worth your time anyways. Trust me, by you initiating the conversation, he WILL respond. He has to at least say something. Open your mouth, smile naturally, make direct eye contact, give him a compliment, and act interested in him for once. He'll be yours in no time.

THE MEETING PLACE: Manhattan Dating prospects are everywhere. Any time you see a good-looking man you're attracted to, feel free to strike up a conversation, make eye contact, give him a smile and be a little flirtacious. I've met men at grocery stores, gas stations, police officers on duty, while rollerskating, in the dairy aisle, Vitamin Shoppe, walking to the bathroom while at dinner with another man! The list is endless... The world is full of men and Manhattan Dating potentials just waiting for you to meet them. Look good, act confident, and treat every place you go as a potential meeting place for dating candidates. Don't be nervous--its just the initial interaction. Have no expectatons other than having an interesting conversation with a new person... and see where it goes from there. If you initiate a conversation with a man, he will never decline to answer you, ladies!

HOOKING A MAN: Men are attracted to confident women and since you've already been the one to initiate the conversation, he knows you're confident at this point. To hook him and begin dating him, the art of seduction comes into play. Maintain good eye contact, smile at silly little things, compliment him, and act interested in every damn thing he says. Nod your head in agreement and smile while acting fascinated in the things he's saying to you. Men love to have their ego stroked. Do this and you will make him feel great and build an instant bond with him that he will want to continue. If in the initial conversation he mentions his job, ask questions, find a common ground, and act impressed. "Wow, you're a police officer... you must be in great shape." "Oh, you're a male nurse? You must be in great shape." See, it doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you're making HIM feel important. This signals to your dating prospect you're interested in him and he feels powerful and prominent when really its part of your Manhattan Dating plan all along. Fake interest if you have to. Stroke his ego during the first conversation and he'll want to pursue you further so he can demonstrate and prove to you how impressive he really thinks he is.

SCREENING MEN: Assuming you've gotten through the initial conversation and have exhanged phone numbers, you're now ready to add him to your Manhattan Dating collection of men. After a few texts or phone calls, presumably he's not a total psychopath at this point, you may be thinking about going out on a date with him. Remember: The purpose of Manhattan Dating is dating several men at one time and that means you do not turn Man #1 into your boyfriend after the first date. You need time to note certain characteristics of each man to know if they're going to be suitable for long-term dating. These "screening" dates allow you to experience the variety of qualities each different man has to offer. You need to evaluate their strengths and weaknesses and decide who gets to continue on in the Manhattan Dating process.

SCHEDULING YOUR POTENTIALS: When dating multiple men at once, scheduling your time is a very difficult thing to do when you start off. Most women feel guilty about leaving one date and going out on a date with a different man later on that same day. Feel free. Get over it. This is your dating process, not his. You need to do what's best for you and what will meet your needs. For years, men have been the front-runners in the dating process determining which females will move on to the role of actual girlfriend. Manhattan Dating reverses those roles... and men who cannot deal with that.. are replaced. There is nothing wrong with meeting a man for lunch and meeting a different man for dinner or a late night romp later that same evening. You're just sampling different styles--men do it all the time and everyone assumes its perfectly acceptable for them. Its encouraged to schedule more than one date per day, and doing so will leave you in complete control and feeling confident.

BEING HONEST (AND DISCREET): Being honest and discreet is key to maintaining several relationships at once. There comes a time when a man will ask you point-blank if you're dating anyone else. This is the time to be honest, yet vague about the issue. It's totally acceptable to reply with a simple "I don't want anything exclusive right now" and drop the issue. If a man presses you for a more direct answer, do not give details about the other men. If he can't accept your answer, cut it. He is most likely too jealous to handle this type of dating scenario. The best part about Manhattan Dating is that you get to call the shots.

With that being said, take care to schedule enough time between dates, remember specific conversations you've had with specific men, delete old text messages, and delay meeting his friends as long as possible. Avoiding common pitfalls will go a long way to ensuring a positive and rewarding Manhattan Dating experience.

Being in a relationship isn't the same thing as dating someone. Dating is about determining compatibility for a possible future relationship.

BUILDING UP YOUR COLLECTION: A solid collection of 5-10 men should be built up over a period of time for Manhattan Dating purposes. These men should be kept in rotation until a suitable monogamous relationship is desired or until their use/practicality/need to keep them wears off. Starting off Manhattan Dating with a larger number of potential candidates will obviously lead to greater scheduling conflicts, but better end results from having started with so many different possibilities at the beginning. When one man is no longer dateable or he simply doesn't wish for you to see other men while dating him, dismissing him and replacing him is often commonplace. When searching for an actual long-term relationship, the Manhattan Dating method can be used to whittle down the 10 starting candidates until one 1 excellent choice man remains. Either way, several men need to be kept in the dating rotation in case of dismissal, natural attrition, or loss of necessity.

STOP BEING EMOTIONAL: What prohibits a lot of women from engaging in more than one relationship at a time is guilt. Women obviously have a greater tendency toward monogamy than men do and often have a hard time understanding the importance of making themselves happy at the risk of someone else's feelings. Stop being so emotional about it and start dating. In Manhattan Dating, your needs come first. Men have absolutely no problem dating (and sleeping with) several women at once and are often encouraged and complimented by their buddies for doing it!

Take a page from the man's guide to dating and stop being overly emotional about these things. When dating multiple men, your goal is to experience as many men as possible to narrow the candidate selection down to one lucky man you'd like to have an actual relationship with. You should have little to no expectations for an actual relationship using this multiple-man approach until one man emerges that proves he has the major qualities and attributes that are going to be able to fulfill all of your needs--emotional, physical, spiritual, etc. Until that occurs, you need to be a man about it and feel no guilt and don't expect too much out of each individual situation. Cut the sissy emotional crap and embrace your power and control instead. We know he's not sitting around at home saying: "Oh I wonder if she likes me? I wonder if she'll call." Stop it.

CURB YOUR JEALOUSY: If you expect to be able to date other men, you can't be upset if he chooses to do the same thing. Make the best of it and act nonchalant. Don't let it bother you if he dates other people as well. The more carefree you are about your guys other dates, the more confident and in control you'll feel. No possessiveness. No expectations for the future. You need to stay in control of your own dating game and who's going to be the best for you. If you're doing it right, you should be so busy managing your own schedule of potential men that you don't have time to worry about who else he might be seeing on the side as well.

DISMISSING HIM: There are certain men that aren't going to like you choosing Manhattan Dating. When this happens, its time to end things. Whether its a new man you just met or a man you've been on several dates with, if you're not ready to make a solid committment to one man and he's pressuring you to be exclusive or end things with other men, its time to dismiss this one. This style of dating is so that YOU can find what you're looking for--not so one man can tell you what to do. When he acts up, Manhattan Dating protocol says to end things with him. Believe me, replacing him won't be hard.

OPTING OUT AND SELECTING A BOYFRIEND: When its time to end things with a man, do it in a classy way. As long as he has treated you faily well, you've had no major issues with him, and he hasn't been a demanding jerk, you need to let him down gently. Whether you've decided you're just not compatible with him or you've chosen to see someone else exclusively, be direct and to the point. None of these guys are your boyfriend so you don't owe them an apology. Simply saying "I've met someone I want to be exclusive with so I'm not available for dating anymore" is a classy and honest way to end things. It may sting them at first, but you need to end things properly and retain control. Try to be graceful about it if he's treated you well.

If you were to tell most of your friends or co-workers that you're dating multiple men at one time, most of them would get the idea you're some sort of harlot and carelessly sleeping with every man you encounter. Manhattan Dating is actually just the opposite process. You're only sleeping with very few men you deem worthy. Most men in your Manhattan Dating pool will be around to meet your other needs--going to dinner, cuddling, spending time with a humorous or handy man. Purely sexual interactions are allowed in this theory of dating, but always be careful and practice sex sexual habits. The goal here is to come off powerful as a woman that knows what she wants-- not sleazy.

Ladies, after reading all of these tips and techniques on dating multiple men, you should now have a pretty good idea of how to start this process to make the most of your dating lives. Enjoy meeting new men, figuring out their strengths, having some fun with them, and exploring your options. Above all, stay classy and in power, and good luck finding your perfect match!

Best Wishes,
Alexis Luck