Is Your Christian Marriage In Crisis?

At one time every woman had a dream. It's the one you had as a little girl: the dream of the wonderful way that you would be treated by your future husband, the man of your dreams, who would treat you like a princess. Your every thought, feeling, desire and care would be important and valuable to this man.

Unbelievably, your Christian husband actually had a similar dream ~ that he would be a prince to his princess! He really thought that he could get married and automatically be the perfect husband. Unfortunately, this dream went by the wayside shortly after the wedding when he began to realize that your marriage relationship was going to take more work than he thought.

All of a sudden, your prince turned out to be a control freak who wanted everything his way or no way. He started expecting ~ maybe even demanding ~ that you take care of everything at home even if you worked outside of the home.

Your picture of his arriving home and the two of you enjoying the rest of the evening was replaced by the reality of his not wanting to do anything to be a blessing to you.

You had a dream of what married life would be like. Sadly, your dream stands in stark contrast to the current reality of your marriage which is lacking fun, passion, sensitivity, excitement and God's design for your relationship.

Just because you and your spouse are Christians doesn't mean that you don't or won't have a troubled marriage. If you find yourself in this category, you may have tried reading many of the popular marriage books for Christian couples, gone to Christian marriage retreats, sought the help of a Christian marriage councelor or your pastor and still, you and your spouse are drifting further and further apart.

In spite of what the church has been teaching about marriage - namely that the wife submit to the husband's leadership - you have known in your heart that this is not the way to have a happy marriage. Despite the fact that you've been a submissive wife in every way, your husband basically ignores your needs; he may even have become emotionally, verbally or spiritually abusive towards you. He may even be having an emotional or physical affair.

And of coure, he looks good to everyone you both know, his co-workers, your church family ~ he may even be involved in ministry...but behinds closed doors at home, you're wondering how your husband can claim to love God who he can't see, and not love you who he can.

About 2 years ago, my husband, Michael, and I were separated for the third time. I was pregnant with our son and living at my mom's house with my two older boys. I had filed for divorce, a decision that ~ as a Christian woman ~ I wasn't completely settled upon, because I didn't know what else to do. Our relationship, before and after we were married, had been filled with strife and heartache almost from the start. We listened to all the "big names," bought their books, studied their methods, and put everything we had into modeling our marriage based on what they were teaching. Not only didn't all that work, it actually made things worse. Our marriage was rocked by adultery, mental and spiritual abuse, and emotional abandonment.

Your marriage may not be as bad as ours was and you may not have the same problems that we did. That's irrelevant. The bible says that if you compare yourself among yourselves that you are unwise. You many have never committed adultery. Also irrelevant. Jesus said that if you look on a woman to lust, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart. It doesn't matter if your marriage is better or worse than ours was. The principles that we learned to restore our christian marriage when it was in crisis will work for every marriage. You can have a dream-come-true marriage!