What 95% of men don't know....
Hey guys! I'm Jared, a full time dating and pick up coach. Five years ago, I was just like you. Sitting at my computer looking for information on how to meet girls. I was scared shitless to talk to girls, especially girls I didnt even know. Now all that has changed.
Since then I've been helping out guys all around the world with their approaches, rapport building strategies and seduction skills. I can go out any night of the week and pull a girl back to my house whether she's single or happily married. You're prolly thinking right now that I must be extremely good looking, or I'm a model. Actually far from it. I have about average looks, a slightly pudgy belly and my nose is even a bit big. None of this matters though. In the past four years, the number of girls I've laid is well into the triple digit range. I've dated models, college cheerleaders and even a pornstar. I'm going to give you some advice on how to pick up women at anytime of the day no matter what the situation is. If you want to get this area of your life straightened out, start now and you can be just like me! At the end of this article, I will also suggest some great sources for learning much more about how to pick up women.
- Don't be the "nice guy"
This doesn't mean be an asshole to women. Just don't fall into the trap of being the guy who caters to the girl and buys her drinks all night. Girls like guys who are a challenge. If a guy is too easy for the girl to get, she will be immediately turned off by him.
- Confidence is sexy
If you've ever watched a true natural talk to girls, the main thing they have going for them is their never ending self confidence. They get away with saying things that most people can't say because they truly believe everything they say. If you actually believe everything you say, or can convince her that you believe what you're saying....she will believe it.
- Highlight your best qualities
Girls love men of high value. Now if you're thinking, my job sucks, my car sucks, my house sucks.....fine it doesn't matter. If you do something that is creative, have a fun passion or anything else that is interesting make sure you highlight that quality. Don't take this too far though and brag about it. If you say "I have a BMW and work at JP Morgan", she's going to think you're arrogant and be totally turned off. The key is to subtly hint at it and if you're good she'll ask you about it. Here's an example I used last week....
"Yeh my buddies and I were out like a month ago, and my girl didn't have a shoot that night so she came out as well. Anyways we got into this huge food fight at the bar, and the bouncer came back and we thought he was gonna start throwin haymakers, but then out of nowhere he wips out a pie and drills my ex in the face. We were all laughin about it for the rest of the night."
In something like this, I subtly hint at the fact that my ex was a model (doin a photo shoot)...this hint will make the girl ask what my ex did for a living, and when I say she was a model, I'll have a much higher social value in her eyes. However, I brought up in a way that was not bragging.
You can do this with anything that is considered high value or interesting. If you snowboard, own a boat, run your own business etc... All of these things are attractive to women. My buddy Joe goes into much more detail about this in his Art of the Approach book. More about this at the bottom....
- Make her qualify herself
After you have flirted with the girl for a bit and she is interested in you, you need to qualify her. This is something that most guys who don't get laid always skip! The girl has to know that you are into her for reasons other than her looks. You have no chance at getting a girl to sleep with you, or have a relationship with you if she does not feel like you're truly interested in her.
Making her qualify herself to you involves asking questions about what she's into, what are her values, what are her dreams in life...etc.. However the best way to go about these is with simple questions first, and then move your way up. If you ask a girl you just met what her dreams are in life, she's prolly not gonna answer even if she is attracted to you. Some of my favorites to start off with are....
- are you adventurous?
- are you a good friend?
As she continues to qualify herself, you can go into asking her some deeper questions...
- Look your best
This is pretty simple, but tons of guys manage to mess this up. You need to construct a look that is congruent with who you are. If you are into music and skateboarding, play up the rockstar look everywhere you go. If you don't know how to develop your own style, just copy the styles of guys who you think look cool.
- Body language and body contact is key
Your body language means more than what you actually say to women. This also holds true for public speaking and any other type of conversation. Watch a natural alpha male talk, and you will see that their body language is amazing. They look relaxed and confident. They're shoulders are back, chest is out and they use their hands to communicate as well.
When it comes to body contact, you need to be creating physical contact everytime you talk to a woman you are interested in. This means when you are next to her and you start talking, you should be putting your hand on her back or arm. As your conversation gets more flirty, you can start to escalate and touch the girl in more high risk areas such as the leg and lower back. When I say touch, make sure you understand that I do not mean grope! This is just normal physical touching, until it gets heavier and to a more sexual state. Guys who don't have physical contact with women throughout their conversation will always get put in the friends zone!
The best dating ebooks for men
If you want to get good at picking up women TODAY, these ebooks are the best way!
#1 - Art of the Approach (My personal favorite)
I talked about this ebook a bit before. It is absolute gold. This is written by my buddy Joe (thundercat) who usually has 3-4 girlfriends at once. Seriously. He covers everything in his book that will teach a complete introverted nerd who is too shy to talk to women, how to become a complete ladies man. And I am dead serious about that. If you want to change your life right now, pickup his book. If I could recommend only one ebook, it would be this one.
#2 -How to Seduce Women!
This was one of the first ebooks I read on dating and it completely changed the way I looked at things. This book was written by a guy who is very, very successful with women. He picks up some of the hottest women in LA every single night. You will definitely learn a lot about all the essentials of picking up women, such as approaching, humor and when to be physical. I highly recommend it.
#3 - How to become an Alpha Male
It's no secret that the alpha males in society generate attraction from females all the time. Alpha males have an aura about them between their attitude, smile and body language that just shows TONS of self confidence. In this ebook John Alexander goes over what any guy can do to become an alpha male. This is a great ebook, and will help you with your trouble with women.
Different types of "game"
Each method has its pros and cons, and both are very effective when done properly. I'll explain a bit about each one now...
Indirect Game
Indirect gaming involves using openers and routines that are pre planned. While some people think this is sleezy and dirty, it is totally necessary for people who are just starting out approaching women, and for guys who really don't have great social skills. A guy who has never approached a girl in a club, is not gonna be able to walk up to her and just strike up a conversation. Indirect game lets you practice at bars, clubs, coffee shops and other places until your game is sharp enough to begin infusing some direct game into it. I know some guys who are awesome at picking up women, who only use indirect game. The key to indirect game is to understand the principles behind the routines, so you can gravitate towards being more natural. In the sections above, you can learn about indirect game from The Art of the Approach ebook.
Direct Game
Direct game is what every guy strives to get to eventually. This is when you can open any girl, anywhere and make her attracted to you. If you have ever seen a true natural pick up women, he was using direct game. While naturals are great at picking up women, it's sometimes tough to learn from them because many naturals can not explain what they're doing. Naturals see the world from a much different frame than your average guy who can't get laid, so it's tough for them to understand how most guys think. Direct game is very useful, and it will improve your dating life, as well as every other aspect of your social life. Your interactions with people at your job and with your friends will become much smoother and easier if you can master direct game. In the sections below, I'll recommend some great direct gaming ebooks.
Where to pick up women at?
Clubs
For guys who are new to approaching women, clubs are the hardest place to pick up women. You must be dressed very well (with your own style), and also have a very loud voice. Not to mention, most clubs are setup so that the guys with no game can't pick up women. If you are friends with the promoters, DJ's and bartenders, you have a huge advantage over almost every guy in the place. If you want to work on your club game, make sure you make friends with the key people in the clubs, and learn how to speak very loudly.
Bars
For a night time venue, bars are my favorite place to go. Women at bars want to be hit on. Read that 100 times if you don't understand it. Women go out to bars so they can meet guys. Bars are usually upbeat, but quiet enough that you can have a conversation.
Concerts and festivals
People are always having a good time at festivals, and they are easily approachable. If you're at a concert, you already have something in common with the girls because you like the same band. You can chat them up about their favorite bands pretty easily.
Bookstores/Coffee shops
If you like the intellectual types (who doesn't?), a bookstore is a great place to meet women. If you're relatively good looking, bookstores are absolute money. First of all you will probably be the best looking guy in there and you'll have no competition. Second of all, women who go to bookstores aren't looking to be picked up, so if you have worked at your game and have some decent game, a woman will be blown away if you pick them up in a bookstore. This is the type of fantasy that girls think about all the time.
On the street/ In the park
This is another great place to pick up women during the day. Some guys like day game MUCH better than night game, because women aren't expecting you to stop them and hit on them. So if you have some solid game, they will be VERY IMPRESSED. Plus you won't have the stigma of just being some guy she met at a bar if you chat her up during the day. Girls sitting on a bench reading, or walking through the park would love to have an interesting conversation.
How to be a high value man
Im sure you're saying, but wait I don't have a high paying job, or a blinging car to impress women with. That's ok. To 95% of women, ambition is just as attractive as having the things you want. Only gold diggers care about you actually having nice cars and nice houses. Showing a girl your ambitions, and what you want out of life is very attractive.
So what makes a high value man?
- Good job/working your way toward a good job
- Ambitions in life
- Cool hobbies and adventurous
- Connections with high value people
- A guy who can attract women
Now as any guy who is good with women will tell you, you must work on all aspects of your life if you want to reach your potential. Having good game is just one part of the equation. If you want to keep girls around and have actual relationships with them, you need to be more than just a guy with game. Working on personal development is very important.
Videos of guys picking up girls
Here are a few videos I found on YouTube of popular guys in the pickup community talking to women. My advice is to concentrate on how they talk, their body language and how they keep up great energy when they have a conversation.
by JaredAppling
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