How to Procrastinate

The first step in procrastinating is knowing exactly what it is that you aren't doing. Have a school assignment due? Work deadline? Need to write a new lens? Anything else that you're supposed to be doing is a fantastic starting point for some top-quality procrastination, these are only suggestions - feel free to mix it up with your own style!

Advanced procrastinators may be able to avoid work even when there is no work to be done, but for now, it's best to start with something - even something small - that you're really supposed to be doing.

The most important point in procrastinating is to avoid doing the things you're supposed to be doing at all costs. Ideally, in the time you set aside to procrastinate, you shouldn't get anything useful done at all. There are plenty of ways to do this, see below for ideas.

This is the crucial step in procrastination, and it it the one which will set the truly world-class procrastinator apart from the amateur. At some point, you're going to realise that you actually should get some work done. What you do next determines how successful a procrastinator you are. If you go to do your work, you have eventually become productive, which is not something you want. Productivity is the antithesis of procrastination.

What you should do, at this point, is go back to Step 2, and follow it again. Repeat until you want to stop, but remember: a great procrastinator never stops, they get things done by accident.