How to Request Technical Support

Techies do tend to suffer from speaking their own language. It's faster and more informative when they're talking to each other, like a surgeon saying "nurse, the clamps" rather than "could you pass me the metal things with the handles and the squeezy bit over there in the third tray on the left, please?" But if you don't know what a clamp is, the latter's a lot more helpful.

So let's look at some basic terminology:

OS - Operating System. Meaning the stuff that makes your computer work, other than electricity. Almost certainly Windows of some sort, but if they're asking they probably want to know which sort of Windows. Likely answers are Vista, 7, XP... if you don't know which of those you've got admit it, they'll tell you how to find out. Never guess, it might matter.

Browser. The bit of software you use to look at stuff on the Internet. Not the connection bits, the viewing bits. Probably Internet Explorer, also known as IE. Could also be Firefox, Google Chrome, or Safari - but if you're not techy it's almost certainly IE. Unless you are an AOL customer, in which case I'm sorry there's no hope for you. If you use IE and your techie asks about it, they'll probably want to know which version, since they vary hugely. Likely answers are 6, 7 or 8. you can find out by clicking on "Help" and then "About" when you've got your browser running.

ISP. Internet Service Provider. The company you pay in order to connect to the 'net. Likely answers are BT (if you use BT connect, for example, not just because that's your phone line), Virgin and Sky.

Email Client. The Computer programme (if you have one) that you use to read and send your email. Not the email provider or your address, but the software you use to access it. For example, you might use Outlook in one of its varieties. If you don't have one, you probably use webmail - that is, you access your email through your browser by going to the web page of your email provider, for example Hotmail.

If your techie asks you something not on that list that you don't understand, just remind them that you're not a techie yourself, and please will they explain the question?

If you're asking for technical support, you're probably doing this via one of three ways: on the telephone, by email, via a support page (so fill in the boxes).

For the first option the essentials are simple: muster all of your information before you call, stay calm, listen. When using a support page the advice is similar: muster all of your information before you start, stay calm, read carefully. If you're writing an email you need to (you'll never guess) muster all of your information before you start, stay calm, and proof-read before sending. So the common ground is to gather your facts, don't get wound-up, and pay attention. I'm going to take the email format as my example of how to compose a request, but as you see the concepts apply whatever method you're using, just adjust to suit your delivery method.

Here we go...

Begin your email by expressing, briefly, the gist of your problem. This serves as an introduction, puts the following information in context, and tells the tech person what their goal is. For example:
Hi, I've got a problem logging onto your site, can you help please?
In a telephone conversation you can imagine they're now going to ask for more details, so in your email you need to provide it unasked. You'll also notice that I've used a polite, friendly tone. You hope that your request is going to reach a human being, and that they are going to be polite, friendly and helpful to you - so start by setting the tone yourself. However frustrated you are "Your piece of stinking software doesn't work!*@!" is a) unlikely to reach anybody who's fault that is, and b) will not endear you to the poor under-paid schmuck whose thankless task it is to help you. So pretend you're talking to somebody you like. By the time they've fixed your problem you probably will!

Where was I? Ah yes... after the introductory summary, give them as much detailed information as you can about what you're trying to do.

I'm using Google Chrome version 7.0.517.44 on Windows Vista, and I'm trying to log into your site on page http://wwwpretendsiteaddress/loginpage.aspx" using user name "bykimbo".

They might not need all that, but if they do you've just saved three or four backwards and forwards messages while they try to find it out, and you both get more frustrated, just because your entire email said "I can't log on, what's wrong?"

If you have a specific error message, give them that exactly as worded. Write it down or copy and paste if it will let you. Do not guess, and do not paraphrase - what you think it means will colour how you express it, and they could end up trying to fix the wrong problem. If there's no specific error message showing, describe the way in which it goes wrong as best you can. If there isn't an error message, it's useful to say so. So...

After I fill in the form and hit the button marked "submit", the screen goes blank and nothing else happens. I don't get any error message. I've waited ten minutes or more, and eventually have to close the browser. (Or error message "793ab7x1 overload in widgets store x50/1/#" as appropriate!)

If you've tried a variety of things to fix the problem yourself, such as using a different browser, setting up another account, using an automatic password reset, tell them that immediately. They may still need you to check things a second time while they watch what happens, so don't get frustrated and scream "but I've done that!!" - you did it while they weren't looking, and that might not be enough. But there again, it might, so do say what you've tried, it can save time.

I've tried it on Firefox too, and get the same result. I also used the password reset twice, and neither new password worked either.

Once you've given them all the technical information they should need, at this stage, to tackle the problem you need to add anything else relevant that you'd like them to know. Are you doing this for work and need an answer by a specific deadline? Are you about to disappear to Matabeleland for fortnight, making you somewhat hard to contact? They might not be able to respond in the time-scale you're hoping for, but by telling them you do improve your chances.

I need to get this done in time for my boss's conference call at 1400GMT if possible, please?

And finally, state exactly what it is you hope to achieve - it's often going to simply be a restatement of the opening summary with a different emphasis, but finishing with a clear goal is always helpful.

So please can you get the login page working for me as soon as possible, thanks.

In an ideal world you'll have provided so much clear information that the techies will be able to fix the problem without wasting time coming back to you for more clues, and the first and last thing you hear from them will be "should be fixed, try it now".

Hi, I've got a problem logging onto your site, can you help please?
I'm using Google Chrome version 7.0.517.44 on Windows Vista, and I'm trying to log into your site on page http://wwwpretendsiteaddress/loginpage.aspx" using user name "bykimbo".
After I fill in the form and hit the button marked "submit", the screen goes blank and nothing else happens. I don't get any error message. I've waited ten minutes or more, and eventually have to close the browser.
I've tried it on Firefox too, and get the same result. I also used the password reset twice, and neither new password worked either.
I need to get this done in time for my boss's conference call at 1400GMT if possible, please?
So please can you get the login page working for me as soon as possible, thanks.

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