How To Say Hard Things

We have to say sorry so much, from when we steal a cookie from the jar to when we crash into someone's car. Even so, still most of us find it difficult to say sorry, whilst sounding sincere. I often feel truly sorry, but, when I say something, it just comes out wrong, so here are some tips to swerve away:

Firstly, be aware of how sincere your voice is - you don't want to be over the top. Also, make breaks every so often to make it sound like you're thinking of the right thing to say. By saying something that sounds practiced, it doesn't feel like it's 'coming from the heart'.

TOP TIP: If you just don't think you can manage it, send a gift with a note on. Sometimes, it can be much more touching.

This is by far the trickiest one, for the person on the receiving end and yourself, especially when the person is close to you. Because this is such hard news, don't pile on the tears by crying yourself. As humans, we cry when someone else cries. Get it all out of your system and then talk bravely and firmly.

TOP TIP: Let them cry.

Telling someone that they've failed or aren't going to be able to succeed makes you feel like an awful person. Don't pull the "I don't think you're right for this quite yet" move, because everyone's seen it in movies, and it doesn't sound genuine. Instead, focus on saying what they need to do to improve, instead of only pointing out why they can't do it.

TOP TIP: Make sure you know that it's not your fault.

The whole relationship-break is awkward and embarrassing. Don't say "it's not you, it's me" - it's too cliche. Smile sadly when you tell them, and slot in a couple of happy memories, so you break on a friendship level.

TOP TIP: Never ever ever break it off through text or email. Ever.

Yes, telling people to shut up, without saying shut up is a true challenge. Saying without being rude is even more of a challenge. Instead of directing the conversation away from them, direct it to other people. For instance, don't say "we don't want to hear about that anymore", say "Jane, have you had any experiences like that?"

TOP TIP: When you need to put your foot down, stamp it down. Hard.

This is extremely hard when it's a project they've been working on for a while. However, you can start by pointing out all the good things, and then starting to casually slip in "that could be a bit better if...". Remember, don't beat yourself up about having to break the news.

TOP TIP: Better sooner than later.

There are so many hard things to say and I'm going to help you figure out what to say and how to say it! Try and say things in a kind way, and empathize, but know when to say "okay, now you're being pathetic".

TOP TIP: Think 'how would you like yourself to be told?'

This one was mentioned in a comment by another lensmaster. I know that sometimes you backspace rather a lot, trying to decided whether something you write on a forum (e.g. SquidU - w00t! -, sorry, back to the point) sounds a bit sarky, when it's just a joke. However, I'm pretty knowledgeable on online chatting - I spend loads of time on Facebook and Twitter -, so I'm going to guide you through a couple of txt langwg.

LOL - laugh out loud
LMAO - laugh my a*** off
ROTFL - rolling on the floor laughing

And for something even quicker:

; ) - wink
: ) - smile

And my personal favorite:
<3 makes a heart

The person, who is dying should probably not say this, especially if you're breaking the news to kids. The best way to do it is to try and man up and not cry. Of course, you'll be sad and it's perfectly fine to show this, but don't start crying, again especially with kids. Instead, offer a warm hug. Also, don't go into a long speech, but give them a few words of sympathy.

This perhaps something, which sends shivers up your spine, unless your boss is really nice - how rare is that, huh? But brace yourselves, because next time, they'll be another way:

THE PAY RISE - Remember, this is busines; you are not begging and neither are you casually asking. Don't go full on with a Powerpoint, but outline the major successes that you have achieved. Just leave out the part where you give the long from-the-heart speech!

THE STOP COMPLAINING AT ME, IT'S HER! - This one's tricky. You've got to make sure that you don't sound like you're scheming, but that you're just pointing out that it's not you. Instead of moaning and groaning about how she doesn't do this and that, go through projects, which have gone wrong, showing her what you did, or what the colleague did wrong. Make sure you add in a couple of points where you could improve, so that you don't sound desperate... even if you are!

THE I'M QUITTING - Even though it doesn't put your job on the line, it's a horrible one to face. If you're a good worker, your boss might even desperately offer you a pay rise (but don't try this for a pay rise!), so think carefully before about what the minimum wage is for you to stay. Say this happens, it will probably be a good thing - it shows your boss values you and that you are not willing to receive less than you deserve. However, if your boss doesn't do this, have a very vague reason for leaving, like 'due to personal issues...' To get you in their good books, maybe comment on what employee she should look for next, or a tip for the current project.

Its likely that a Doctor will tell a family member, or family friend, instead of the patient if they are going to die, because it will be easier to hear it from someone they know. The best thing to do is to put on a brave face, and break it to them, whilst they are calm and relaxed. Don't bother them with phrases like 'its going to be okay', as its obvious its not going to be okay. Instead, talk about the things you all can do before they die. Definitely don'T say 'Before you die, we can do ----, though!' That will just remind them of the fact they are going to lose their life. Make a Wish is an organization, which grants dreams of kids with life-threatening illnesses, so if the patient is a child, then this would be good. The organization Starlight is based around the same idea too.