"I just want the bullying to stop. That is all I ever wanted. I used to love going to school. Now I hate it." Find out why bullies behave in that way and what you can do to stop them from picking on you!
Photo courtesy of zzclef 
THE bully and the victim of bullying both need help.
The victim of bullying needs some practical tools to cope with the problem.
The bully needs to learn to relate to others without abusing power.
Most often, the bully ignores how to relate to others and does not understand the feelings of others. He needs to learn how to communicate properly.
The book Take Action Against Bullying says: "Unless new behaviors are learned and adopted, bullies continue to bully throughout their lifetime. They bully their mates, their children, and possibly their underlings in their place of business."
THE bully and the victim of bullying both need help.
The victim of bullying needs some practical tools to cope with the problem.
The bully needs to learn to relate to others without abusing power.
Most often, the bully ignores how to relate to others and does not understand the feelings of others. He needs to learn how to communicate properly.
The book Take Action Against Bullying says: "Unless new behaviors are learned and adopted, bullies continue to bully throughout their lifetime. They bully their mates, their children, and possibly their underlings in their place of business."
Contents of this lens:
"'Bullying is learned behavior, and anything learned can be unlearned.'-Dr. C. Sally Murphy."
Do not become a Bully
Photo courtesy of puroticorico
Training children early in life to be empathetic can help to prevent them from turning into bullies. Educators in some lands are working with a new style of education called empathy training. The objective is to understand the feelings of others and to treat people with kindness. those who have gone through the training are less aggressive than those who have not.
If you do not want your child to become a bully, you need to teach him by word and by example how to treat others with respect and dignity.
Tthe most famous instruction ever given regarding how to show empathy is :"All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them." Teaching children to embrace that Golden Rule-to love it and live by it-is not easy; it takes a good example, persistence, and hard work, particularly since young children are naturally self-centered. But all such effort is worthwhile. If your children learn to be kind and empathetic, they will find the very thought of bullying repulsive
Training children early in life to be empathetic can help to prevent them from turning into bullies. Educators in some lands are working with a new style of education called empathy training. The objective is to understand the feelings of others and to treat people with kindness. those who have gone through the training are less aggressive than those who have not.
If you do not want your child to become a bully, you need to teach him by word and by example how to treat others with respect and dignity.
Tthe most famous instruction ever given regarding how to show empathy is :"All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them." Teaching children to embrace that Golden Rule-to love it and live by it-is not easy; it takes a good example, persistence, and hard work, particularly since young children are naturally self-centered. But all such effort is worthwhile. If your children learn to be kind and empathetic, they will find the very thought of bullying repulsive
Help for the Victims
Photo courtesy of trix0r 
Victims of bullying face a difficult challenge. They have to maintain balance under pressure. The bully wants to throw you off balance emotionally. He wants to get you angry,he wants you to show terror. If you do get angry or if you burst into tears or express terror, the bully is getting what he wants. So he will not stop in order to get the same reaction repeatedly.
Victims of bullying face a difficult challenge. They have to maintain balance under pressure. The bully wants to throw you off balance emotionally. He wants to get you angry,he wants you to show terror. If you do get angry or if you burst into tears or express terror, the bully is getting what he wants. So he will not stop in order to get the same reaction repeatedly.
What can you do?
Photo courtesy of woodleywonderworks 
1. Keep cool. Don't give in to rage. When your temper is out of control, you give the bully power over you, and you are likely to do things you will only regret.
2.Try to put thoughts of revenge out of your mind. Vengeance often backfires. At any rate, revenge is not really satisfying. If you do,your own conduct may worsen afterward. Remember not to return evil for evil to no one."
3. When things appear to be getting heated, get away quickly. Before the fight has started, take your leave.
In general, try to steer clear of those who tend to bully. When you see 'DANGER',just leave.There is no shame in walking away from a bully
4. If bullying persists, you may need to speak up for yourself.Teach your children to speak up for themselves in a firm yet tactful manner Choose a moment when you are calm, look the bully in the eye, and speak in a firm, level voice. Tell him that you don't like that it is not funny and that it hurts. Obviously you will not insult or challenge him.
5. Talk to a responsible, caring adult about the bullying. Be specific about the problem, and ask for help in handling it.
6. Remember that you have value as a person. The bully might want you to think that you don't matter, that you deserve to be treated badly. But he is not your judge. It is the bully who becomes less worthwhile by resorting to such conduct.
1. Keep cool. Don't give in to rage. When your temper is out of control, you give the bully power over you, and you are likely to do things you will only regret.
2.Try to put thoughts of revenge out of your mind. Vengeance often backfires. At any rate, revenge is not really satisfying. If you do,your own conduct may worsen afterward. Remember not to return evil for evil to no one."
3. When things appear to be getting heated, get away quickly. Before the fight has started, take your leave.
In general, try to steer clear of those who tend to bully. When you see 'DANGER',just leave.There is no shame in walking away from a bully
4. If bullying persists, you may need to speak up for yourself.Teach your children to speak up for themselves in a firm yet tactful manner Choose a moment when you are calm, look the bully in the eye, and speak in a firm, level voice. Tell him that you don't like that it is not funny and that it hurts. Obviously you will not insult or challenge him.
5. Talk to a responsible, caring adult about the bullying. Be specific about the problem, and ask for help in handling it.
6. Remember that you have value as a person. The bully might want you to think that you don't matter, that you deserve to be treated badly. But he is not your judge. It is the bully who becomes less worthwhile by resorting to such conduct.
Parents- Protect Your Children
Photo courtesy of lepiaf.geo gone till... 
In a loving family, children learn how to deal with all kinds of bullying .
Parents can start early in preparing their children to deal wisely with bullies. They can, for example, use role-playing games with their children to demonstrate how to project a sense of confidence.
Teach them tostand up straight;this can send a subtle message that dissuades some bullies. Eye contact, hands and arms relaxed, and speaking in a firm, steady voice may help too.Teach your child to walk away, to avoid bullies, and to ask a trustworthy adult for help, a schoolteacher for example.
Parents who make themselves available to their children, listening patiently and empathetically to their concerns, instill in them a feeling that they are wanted, supported, and loved. Many professionals in the field of parenting and peer problems urge parents to provide their children with a positive view of themselves. Such a healthy outlook reduces their appeal as targets in the eyes of bullies.
But there is more than simply talking. Each individual of the family has to treat others with respect and dignity and to understand the feelings of others. So do not accept any bullying behavior in your family. Make it a safe retreat, where respect and love prevail.
In a loving family, children learn how to deal with all kinds of bullying .
Parents can start early in preparing their children to deal wisely with bullies. They can, for example, use role-playing games with their children to demonstrate how to project a sense of confidence.
Teach them tostand up straight;this can send a subtle message that dissuades some bullies. Eye contact, hands and arms relaxed, and speaking in a firm, steady voice may help too.Teach your child to walk away, to avoid bullies, and to ask a trustworthy adult for help, a schoolteacher for example.
Parents who make themselves available to their children, listening patiently and empathetically to their concerns, instill in them a feeling that they are wanted, supported, and loved. Many professionals in the field of parenting and peer problems urge parents to provide their children with a positive view of themselves. Such a healthy outlook reduces their appeal as targets in the eyes of bullies.
But there is more than simply talking. Each individual of the family has to treat others with respect and dignity and to understand the feelings of others. So do not accept any bullying behavior in your family. Make it a safe retreat, where respect and love prevail.
Happy families !
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- vince61 vince61 Jul 18, 2009 @ 1:45 pm
- Thanks a lot aj2008;I will certainly do it as soon as possible.[in reply to aj2008]
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- aj2008 aj2008 Jul 17, 2009 @ 6:48 am
- Welcome to Squidoo Vince. I would like to recommend that you join the SquidU Forum - link at the bottom of the page - where you will learn all sorts of tips and get help to make your lenses even better.
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Hello world. Vincent is pleased to join squidoo.He has done a lot of different things until now.Squidoo is new for him,he is a French speaking guy fro... (more)
