how to win back your girlfriend heart

We love each other and never fight, we have fun together but the "spark" has been gone for a while now.

It's like an elephant in the room that we pretend not to see or talk about. We are both always worried about it come to find out(we finally talked about it) We haven't had sex in over two months!

And tonight she told me she doesn't feel like doing it at all, trouble is I also don't feel like doing it. It has become like a chore!

Trouble is we love each other and when we talk about breaking-up we both start crying and saying that we can't imagine being without each other. We are so confused, in the past we have even talked about getting married!

But it's the lack of intimacy and the will to pursue it that's killing our relationship. Please help we are both so worried and scared.

I guess there are 2 reasons for this

1 - The lack of romance can be the cause of it.

Before being a couple, a guy will think of all kinds of ways to attract the girl we wanted to date.

We will start calling her, think of romantic places to go, notice what she likes and dislikes. And we will start to spring her with surprises with flowers, chocolates and maybe some champagne.

And the initial few months will be the "honeymoon" period. Plenty of love and cuddling, love-making (maybe) and you cannot find yourself to live without her for any moment of time.

And after that, things start to get boring. You still meet, but intimacy on the bed gets reduced, and you start to repeat the same conversation over and over again. And worst, the quarrels seems to always be the same.

2 - You are too involved in each other's lives that you have nothing to really talk about.

In the past, you have your own life and she has her own. And you could tell each other so many stories of your own life that it seems the conversation can never end.

But when you are together, you start doing things together. You go out with her friends, she goes out with yours and you both know what is going on with each other's life that there is simply not much to talk about.

And another problem is as a couple, there is a tendency to start staying at home. Reducing social interaction with friends and most likely, you eat at home as well.

What happens to all the romantic things that you used to do for her, and her for you?

1 - Go for a romantic holiday.

There is a reason why you need to bring your girlfriend on a holiday. Get away from all the friends, family and environment you have now. Go for a short trip to the Bahamas, or to some other countries. Holidays does wonders to a relationship. And it does increase sex appeal when both are having fun and relax.

2 - Pick up a social dance.

Urge each other to take part in those dances that are pretty sexy and fun (provided that she is not those jealous type, and you are not too).

Maybe try learning the salsa, where you get to dance with other girls, and she can dance with other guys. And you can practice at home. Fun things to do together. And when you are ready, hit the dance floor where there are salsa dancing and get ready for some fun.

3 - Do not always be involved in each other's affair.

You meet more of your own friends, play sports and encourage her to do that too. What you need to do is to have some of your own social life back that you can go back and tell her.

Think back when both of you are still single, and when you first met her, there were so many things to talk about because you have different lives that do not cross. The key is to have something different to talk about but she is not involved directly.

4 - Spring her surprises every week.

Maybe bring her to a park for a picnic, next week, sent her some flowers.

Then the following week, a nice dinner. Do not stay at home. Do not bother about the sex portion, just focus on seeing her face spring with love and shock each time you do something out of the blue.

5 - Pick up a sport?

Lose some weight maybe. Try to look good again.

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I am not sure what is your lifestyle like now but as a person start to live a normal relationship, they will no longer bother to look good or dress well for their love ones. Especially for both sexes.

Intimacy is built over time when you first tried to win her heart. And over time, you and her start to just do normal things and it gets boring. Mundane lives will not result in intimacy.