How To Write A Best Man Wedding Speech

Congratulations! Your best friend is getting married, and he's asked you to do him the honor of being his best man. Of course you agreed, but now what? Read on to find out exactly what being the Best Man is all about.

1. You are in charge of throwing his bachelor party. Please pay attention to his wishes. This party isn't actually supposed to be anything like the one which took place in "The Hangover." You're not supposed to get him so drunk he embarrasses himself and possibly betrays his own moral code.

2. Help the groom choose his formal wear. In truth, his dearly beloved will probably give you a very concise list of what she expects the groomsmen to wear. Whatever you do, abide by that list!

3. Decorate the vehicle they will be leaving in. You can get the rest of the wedding party to help you.

4. Help the groom get prepared on the big day. Make jokes, talk about the past, whatever keeps him calm and focused. He may be just fine, but if he's not, it's up to you to help keep him on an even keel.

5. Attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. This is non-negotiable. You must be there to make sure you know exactly what to do the next day.

6. You will be keeping hold of the bride's ring until it is time for the groom to place it on his bride's finger. Make sure you have that ring on your person at all times until it is released to him.

7. After the wedding, you and the maid of honor will sign the marriage license, and you will hand over the funds the groom entrusted to you for the officiant, in payment of their fee for performance of the ceremony.

8. Once at the reception, you will be responsible for making the first toast to the bride and groom. Make it clean, loving, respectful and supportive. If you can interject humor that's not at anybody's expense, feel free. Above all, make it clear that they are a well-matched pair. Nobody wants to hear how lucky one or the other is. They both are well and truly blessed.

9. If they don't rent a limo, you'll be responsible for driving them to the airport, the hotel or home, depending on their honeymoon plans. If you aren't sober, then either hire a driver or have another member of the wedding party do the driving.

10. Enjoy yourself! Be happy for your friend. Use this day to create memories that none of you will ever forget.

Being selected as the man of honor is a huge compliment. Your duties won't only be limited to what you see on this list. If he asks anything of you, you are duty-bound to do everything in your power to honor his wishes. If he has cold feet, you need to hear him out and help him through his case of nerves. It's called "The Big Day" for a reason, and he's going to need calmer heads to prevail. He'll thank you when all is said and done.

Of all the duties assigned to a best man, the speech is probably the hardest to accomplish. You don't want to mess up, right? It might help to know that all the bride and groom are really hoping for is that you don't publicly humiliate them. Basically, you just need to be true to yourself and your memories of life with your best friend. Then, think of how happy his new bride has made him, what joy she has brought to his life. Now either grab a pen and paper, or open Notepad, and we'll get started.

The Groom's Personality

Does he have a great sense of humor, or is it dry? Is he a more serious man? Whatever you know of him, that's the tone you want to set in your speech. Keep in mind that this speech is not to reflect your personality, but his.

The Introduction

Don't forget to introduce yourself. Not everybody will know who you are, and it will make it easier for you to segue into the speech. "Hi, I'm David. Mark and I met in 4thgrade when I was being bullied, and he's had my back ever since." If you actually met under less than ideal circumstances, go with dates.

Your Memories of the Groom

Good ones. Allude to one incident that showed you what kind of a man your best friend really is, and how that led to you two being best friends forever. If you are not actually his best friend, and have been pressed into service for some reason, ask the bride to give you her best memory. Then word it as "I asked Sarah when she knew Mark was the one, and she told me ..." it will be very romantic, and memorable. The groom will continue to be the centerpiece of your speech.

Your Hopes and Wishes for the Happy Couple

This is how your speech will end, with congratulations and best wishes. Remember that there are people of all ages at the reception, so keep it clean, short and sweet. There are many more speeches and dances to come, and you will be greatly appreciated for not rambling on.

A Toast

End your speech with a toast to the new Mr. Mrs.

Now that you've created the basic outline of an effective best man speech, start fleshing out the categories. Write down as many of your friend's positive personality traits as you can think of, and select the top two or three. These are the ones you'll want to mention when you describe him.

Here's what you do with all that information.

1. Introduce yourself

2. State when and how you met

3. Tell a funny or sweet story about something in your past history

4. Share your perceptions of his personality and temperament (funny, loyal, easygoing, etc)

5. Share the positive impression you saw the bride make when she came into his life

6. A toast to the bride and groom

That's it! Once you're finished, set it aside for a few days, and then take another look. If you wouldn't say it any other way, then you're ready to give your best man speech.

And if you're the groom or if you know the groom might have trouble with his speech, take a look at this video about groom speeches.