How I Met Your Mother

Season One

Pilot-We meet Ted Mosby as he is explaining to his two children how he met their mother. We then meet Ted's friends Marshall, Lily, and Barney. Lily and Marshall are engaged. That night at the bar Ted meets Robin. he goes on a date with her but blows it when he tells her he loves her.

Purple Giraffe-Ted tries to get a second date with Robin by trying to be casual. He invites her to a party that he is hosting. When she can't come he keeps hosting parties until she finally comes. Robin becomes friends with the rest of the gang.

Sweet Taste of Liberty-Ted agrees to go to the airport with Barney in order to pick up women. They end up going to Philadelphia and fail in picking up any women. They do like the Liberty Bell though.

Return of the Shirt-Ted decides to revisit some of his old relationships. He hooks up with Natalie who he broke up with previously on her birthday. The relationship doesn't work out and Ted brakes up with her again. Robin also takes bribes from Barney to say silly words on her news broadcasts.

Okay Awesome-Robin gets the gang into the hippest bar in town. Lily and Marshall try to be more grownup though and have a wine tasting date with other couples. Marshall and Lily both hate it and leave. The gang leaves the party with some enjoying their time while others didn't.

Slutty Pumpkin-Ted waits on the rooftop at the apartment Halloween party waiting for the "Slutty Pumpkin". The "Slutty Pumpkin doesn't show though. Robin drives away her boyfriend by being to independent. Lily and Marshall win the costume party.

Matchmaker-Ted and Barney go to a matchmaker who is 100% at finding your perfect match. (Barney is thrown out since he only wants women to sleep with.) The matchmaker can't find a match for Ted though. Ted won't take no for an answer. Ted looks on the computer and finds a woman who is his perfect match. The problem though is that she is engaged. Ted tries to go out with her but she tells him there is someone out there for him. Lily and Marshall also discover the cockamouse and mayhem commences.

The Duel-Ted and Marshall fight over their apartment. They even resort to sword fighting. When Lily is stabbed they know they have gone too far. Lily tells Marshall and Ted that once they get married she wants get a new apartment with Marshall.

Belly Full of Turkey-Lily fears that she is pregnant. She and Marshall visit Marshall's family and Lily doesn't get along with any of them. Lily is reassured though when she finds out that she isn't pregnant. Meanwhile Ted and Robin try to volunteer at a homeless shelter. The homeless shelter has too many volunteers though and they can't find a job. Meanwhile Barney is the perfect volunteer until we find out that he is only doing it for community service.

The Pineapple Incident-Ted gets really drunk one night. He wakes up with a woman in his bed and a pineapple on his bed stand. We then find out the details of what happened that night. Ted thinks he hooked up with Robin but actually hooked up with a woman he met at the bar. We don't find out why the pineapple was there though.

The Limo-Ted spends a lot of money to rent a limo to make New Year's Eve special for him and the gang. The gang goes to several parties but the night doesn't go like Ted wanted. Ted does get kissed by Robin at Midnight though.

The Wedding-Ted invites Robin to be his date to one of his friends wedding. Things go wrong when Ted didn't tell his friends that he was bringing a date. The wedding is almost canceled but the gang saves it just in time. Ted also meets Victoria (his next girlfriend.)

Drumroll, Please-Ted and Victoria enjoy the wedding reception together but vow not see each other afterwards so it stays a perfect day. Ted tries to find her though.We find out that Robin has feelings for Ted. Ted finds out that Victoria is the baker at the wedding and he finds her. Ted and Victoria get back together.

Zip, Zip, Zip-Ted and Victoria decide to wait a month before having sex but that changes quickly. Robin and Barney decide to spend the night together. Robin becomes Barney's wingman, and they play lazer tag. Barney thinks Robin is in to him but he discovers that Robin is in love with Ted. Lily and Marshall are also trapped in a bathroom when Ted and Victoria sleep together.

Game Night-The gang along with Victoria have a game night where Marshall has created a new game, Marshgammon. The game gets to the point where everyone reveals the most embarrassing moments in their lives. We find out that Barney started wearing suits and became a womanizer because Barney lost his first true love to suit wearing businessman. (Barney was a hippie at the time.)

Cupcake-Ted and Victoria's relationship is going great until Victoria gets a spot at a big bakery school in Germany. She decides to take it and Ted and Victoria decide to try a long distance relationship. Lily and Marshall both find their wedding outfits which are both too expensive.

Life Among the Gorillas- Marshall decides to take an internship at Barney's corporation (which made all its money making the yellow fuzz on tennis balls) to pay for the wedding. Marshall doesn't like working there though because all of his coworkers are just like Barney. Marshall always wanted to work to protect the environment. Barney helps Marshall get along with his coworkers. Lily doesn't like the new Marshall though. Marshall decides to go back to his old ways though. Victoria tells Ted that they need to talk. Ted things they are breaking up. Robin calls Ted after 2 am.

Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.-Ted's mother always told him nothing good happens after 2 A.M. Ted heads over to Robin's apartment where he finds out that Robin is in love with him. Ted has decided to dump Victoria and sleep with Robin. Ted tells Robin that he broke up with Victoria (even though he hadn't yet). Everything is going right until Robin hears on Ted's phone that they hadn't broke up yet. Robin throws Ted out of the apartment.

Mary the Paralegal-The gang heads to an awards show where Robin is nominated for an award. Ted doesn't want to go though. Barney gets Ted a date (who he tells Ted is a stripper) in order to make Robin jealous. Robin decides to take her coworker Sandy to the awards show in order to make Ted jealous. Ted makes a fool out of himself when he calls his date a stripper when she actually isn't.

Best Prom Ever-Robin and Lily go to a prom in order to hear a band that Marshall wants to play at their wedding. Lily and Robin eventually get in and have a good time while Ted and Marshall are stuck home writing invitations to the wedding. Lily starts to think about all the things she wanted to do but never got to do.

Milk-The matchmaking service calls Ted up and tells him that they have found his perfect match. Ted is ready to go on his date when Lily calls needing his help. She has been sneaking to art classes behind Marshall's back. She appears to have cold feet. Meanwhile Ted decides to blow the date off entirely because he only wants to date Robin.

Come On-Ted finds out that Robin and Sandy are going on a camping trip together. He consults one of Barney's old friends in order to learn how to do a rain dance so the trip will be canceled. Ted is eventually successful and the trip is canceled when it starts to rain. Ted comes over to Robin's Apartment and they kiss. Lily decides to leave Marshall so she can go to an art class and start fulfilling some of the things she always wanted to do.

Season Two

Where Were We?-The gang tries to help Marshall with getting over Lily leaving him. Eventually they get him to forget Lily but Lily then shows up back in New York.

The Scorpion and the Toad-Barney tries to teach Marshall how to hit on women but isn't successful. Robin meets Lily and tries to help her find a new apartment which doesn't go very well. We find out that Lily misses Marshall and she hated leaving him.

Brunch-Ted's parents come to New York. Lily and Marshall try to make each other jealous. Robin seeks Ted's parents approval but she discovers that Ted's parents have been divorced for years and Ted didn't know it. Barney tries to make Ted's parents like him. Ted discovers that his parents are divorced. He realizes that they were totally different people just like he and Robin.

Ted Mosby: Architect-Ted and Robin have their first big fight. Barney tries to get Ted to pick up new women.

World's Greatest Couple-We finally get to see Barney's apartment which is full of geek stuff and porn. Lily moves into Barney's apartment and helps him get rid of his one night stands. Marshall finds a new friend who happens to be gay. They break it off once Marshall discovers that though.

Aldrin Justice-Barney tries to seduce one of Marshall's older teachers in order to get him a better grade. The teacher can only criticize Barney's work. Lily gets a job at Ted's office. Ted has a mean boss and Lily decides to teach him a lesson. Lily steals his treasured Pete Rose signed baseball. Ted impresses a client and gets to be the project manager of the first building he designed.

Swarley-Barney gets a new nickname, Swarley. Marshall goes on his first date since Lily left. His new girlfriend is very jealous of Lily though. The relationship doesn't work out though. Lily and Marshall get back together.

Atlantic City-Marshall and Lily decide to elope in Atlantic City. They try everything possible from going to a wedding chapel, to the courthouse, and finally to a boat in international waters. Lily and Marshall are married for 12 seconds untill Lily and Marshall decide to wait and get married in front of their families.

Slap Bet-The gang decide to go the mall but Robin refuses to go. she is afraid of malls. The gang wonder why that is. Marshall thinks Robin got married in a mall while Barney thinks she was once a porn star. They decide to make a slap bet. Whoever wins gets to slap the other person. (There are many more rules than that.) Lily become the slap bet commissioner. Barney gets a tape of Robin in the mail and we discover that Barney and Marshall are both wrong. Marshall wins the slap bet because Barney preemptedly slapped Marshall. Robin was actually a child pop star in Canada. Her stage name was Robin Sparx and her only hit was "Lets go to the Mall".

Single Stamina-Barney's brother James arrives in New York. Barney and his brother always got along because they were each other's wingmen since James is gay. James upsets Barney when he tells him that he is getting married. Barney hates marriage. Eventually Barney accepts James' marriage and we see his future wedding where Marshall and Lily are married and Ted and Robin are broken up.

How Lily Stole Christmas-Ted almost ruins the holiday when Lily hears a message that Ted sent her when she was away where he called her a bad name. Robin takes care of Barney when he is sick. Ted and Lily make up in time to salvage the holiday.

First Time in New York-Robin's younger sister arrives in New York. She is a lot younger than Robin. She has a boyfriend and she wants to lose her virginity. Ted and Robin talk her out of it. The gang tells their stories of how they lost their virginity.

Columns-Barney offers Lily a lot of money to paint a picture of him nude. ted is forced to fire his former boss who is having some hard times in his life.

Monday Night Football-The gang misses the Super Bowl because of a funeral. They decide to avoid everything that will tell them the score so they can watch the game together and not be surprised. Ted uses the sensory deprevation mask to try and avoid the score. The whole gang finds out the score before they watch the game though. They still enjoy the game together though.

Lucky Penny-Ted can't get a flight to his dream interview. Lily has a hard time finding her dream wedding dress. Barney gets stuck on the subway after running a marathon with no training.

Stuff-Robin and Ted go through some hard times when they find out about each other's past boyfriends/girlfriends. We find out that all of Robins dogs came from past boyfriends while objects around Ted's apartment came from past girlfriends. Lily gets a part in a low budget play (it's horrible). Barney mocks her by making the stupidest play imaginable.

Arrivederco, Fiero-Marshall's Fiero is about to hit 200,000 miles when the car breaks down and is taken to the mechanic. We learn all the best stories that happened in the car which coincide with miles milestones for the car. We see the first time Ted and Marshall meet. The car cannot be saved though and Marshall needs to buy a new car.

Moving Day-Ted and Robin decide to move in together. Lily and Marshall miss Ted when he is gone. Barney tries to get Ted not to move in with Robin and even resorts to kidnapping Ted in the moving van. Ted and Robin have to many fights when moving in together that they decide not to move in.

Bachelor Party-Robin buys Lily an embarrassing present for Lily for her bachelorette party. She tries to switch presents since no one else gave her such a risky gift. Every enjoys her gift though. Barney and Ted take Marshall to his Bachelor party. (Two of their friend also come along). Barney hires a stripper who gets hurt and they almost burn the hotel down.

Showdown-Marshall and Lily try to sleep apart until the wedding but ultimately fail. Barney goes on the Price is Right and wins every game while trying to impress who he thinks is his father, Bob Barker.

Something Borrowed-Everything goes wrong at Marshall's and Lily's wedding. Marshall has a bad hair cut, the flowers don't arrive on time, the cameraman gets hurt, and the harp player goes into labor. The day seems to be ruined until they decide to have the perfect wedding outside with just the gang and then get married again inside.

Something Blue-It's the wedding reception and Marshall and Lily can't get any alone time in order to have something to eat. They leave for their honeymoon. We find out that Robin and Ted have a secret. Barney keeps asking them "Tell people what". They eventually tell him the story. Throughout the story we think that they are getting married, then Robin is pregnant, and then finally that they broke up.