How Not to Play Golf - Tiger Woods NOT!!!!!!!!!

While playing golf in Scotland on a links course, arriving on the tee of the 8th hole, I noticed about 100 yards away to the right of the tee an old world war two pill box. It was my friends turn to tee off, he took an almighty swing at the ball hit it, it took off like a rocket but was only about 5 foot high, it hit the pill box shot 100 foot in the air and dropped straight down, it ended up about 20 foot behind the pill box. We walked up to the ball and he decided to play it from where it lied, he took out his pitching wedge and took a massive swing hitting the ball, it shot forward and hit the pill box which deflected it backwards nearly taking his head off and landed about 20 foot behind the tee we had just come from, needless to say he did not par the hole.

I was playing with a group of friends in Berkshire we were all stood on the tee and a friend walked up hit his ball. When the club hit the ball their was a very funny metallic sound and the golf ball only went forwards about 25 feet, but the head of his 3 iron had snapped off and shot off landing twice the distance of his golf ball away, he walked up to the ball swearing and muttering about buying cheap golf clubs. His second shot went flying into the trees about 200 yards away, we all helped look for his ball which we found at the base of the tree, He decided to play it from where it had landed an not declare it as unplayable. He took out his 6 iron had a couple of practice swings to make sure he had enough room, deciding he had, he proceeded with his shot, unfortunately he did not notice a branch about 2 foot above his head. The follow through of his swing the 6 iron wrapped itself around the branch and ended up as a right angle. We said to him if he went on at this rate in a few holes he would have no clubs left at all.

When Tiger woods caddy losing his 9 iron at the Ryder cup the other day, I remembered how a friend of mine lost his brand new 3 wood. We were on a raised tee with a lake to drive over, my friend hit his first ball with his new club and it went miles into the air and plopped nicely into the centre of the lake, he took another ball from his bag and placed it on the tee he hit it, it went straight down into the lake, not to be beaten by the hole he took a third ball from his bag and hit it, it bounced across the lake, Barnes Wallis bouncing bomb style and plopped out the other side, in a fit of anger he threw his brand new club at his bag saying it was rubbish and how he was never going to use it again, it bounced off the side and into the lake, which was very deep. Unlike at the Ryder cup we did not have divers to return the club but he had to take off his shoes and socks and go paddling for it, unfortunately to no avail as he did not find it, so he was out of pocket and wet, another good day on the golf course.

We were playing golf the other day and a friend had just had his birthday, which he received a brand new electric trolley. It was his first outing with it we were on the first hole me and my dad were in the middle of the fairway, when all of a sudden we heard look out and were both nearly run over by the trolley which proceeded to career uncontrollably down the fairway towards the green closely followed by our friend who was frantically trying to catch the trolley before it reached the green, with inches to spare he caught it and turned it off, we were thinking of having a danger low flying trolley signs made up for him.

To be continued !!!!